Post # 1
So I’m in this weird predicament. I was supposed to have my baby shower around 30 weeks but due to an emergency 3 days before the event (my husband was in the hospital), I asked my friends to cancel it. The message they sent to everyone was pretty vague & left open the possibility of rescheduling but between our emergency & the holidays it wasn’t realistic.
I had made an online registry & literally only 1 person had reserved an item this whole time. So last week (35 weeks pregnant), I figured I can’t really wait around for others. I went out, bought all my big items, linens & a friend of mine who has a 6mo old also brought me all her 0-3 & 3-6 month clothes. All that to say, I have EVERYTHING I think I need so I told my BFF & my sister not to bother with a shower. I know was really stressful for them to plan & I really don’t need it.
My husband (who is doing much better now), mentionned to me this morning that people WANT to come celebrate this baby & people apparently got me things. At this point, the earliest I would feel comfortable having this thing is March (baby is due Jan 29th) because of germs, possible complications, going early/overdue.
I get the feeling that most people must have gotten me impractical 0-3 month clothes cause it seems to be the theme at baby showers. I don’t mind having a nice, gift-free celebration with my friends and family… but I’m not sure what to do with all the clothes I KNOW I wont need. People bought them over a month ago so I’m not even sure if they’re returnable now.
I know I should be happy & gracious. I just don’t NEED anything :S What do I do?
Post # 3
@MrsRugbee: I would say just be gracious and accept the gifts. Let them celebrate with you. Can you have an impromptu one before the baby is born? You might get some things you can still use. And some stores will still allow returns. You never know. I’d just enjoy it as much as possible and know that they love you and want to shower you with gifts.
And I’m so glad your husband is doing better!
Post # 4
Is it possible for you to have the shower before the baby is born? I was actually surprised at my shower because I didn’t get a lot of small outfits. I only got one 3 month outfit and the rest were 6-12 month sizes. Even if people do buy you small sizes, if you know where they bought them from you can exchange them for a bigger size.
Post # 5
@CocoLoco523: @As_You_Wish: I feel like its too late to schedule things before baby is term (Jan 15th). If baby comes early we’d have to cancel AGAIN & I’d feel like a flaky jerk.
I don’t want 30+ women trying to touch my newborn with their unwashed hands, and if we have any complications that require hospitalization it could be a while before we can really attend a party.
I feel so negative but you ladies are right: There are lots of options, I just find everything so overwhelming this close to my due-date.
Post # 6
@MrsRugbee: Are you going to baptize your baby? My family doesn’t do showers for 2nd or 3rd or 10th kids, but people give gifts at the baptism like it was a shower!
Post # 7
@BrandNewBride: As much as my mom would love to have a baptism, Baby Rugbee will be raised in a secular environment. No baptism or any other spiritual gatherings for her!
Post # 8
@MrsRugbee: if I had purchased a 0-3 month gift (which I would NEVER! So impractical!), I would mail it to you before the baby came or to the hospital if I visited. I’m sure your friends will figure it out.
Post # 9
Why not just get everyone together for a no host Sunday Brunch at a restaurant maybe next weekend? Yeah its about your due date but if this is your first, you’ll likely be a week late and be sitting around just waiting anyway! A quick “hey we’re getting together for brunch” isn’t hard to do or take any work in planning hardly.
Post # 10
You can always donate any clothes you can’t use to shelters or perhaps the hospital has a stash for moms to be.
Post # 11
@MrsRugbee: You have plenty of time, though it may not seem like it to you now since you’re so busy getting ready for your little one. For your friends and family, an impromptu brunch shower at a small restaurant may be just fine unless a lot of them are travelling to visit.
Since people are aware that your first shower was cancelled, if there is an impromptu shower, let them know that you purchased everything you need for the first three months. That should prompt them to exchange what they got you, or bring you a receipt in case you’d like to get something different.
In the event that you are seriously stressed about this, don’t bother with a shower! Not everyone has one, and your friends/family just want to see you be happy. You can always schedule a small “sip and see” once the baby is born for a date that you’re comfortable with.
Post # 12
@MrsRugbee: I’m not having a babyshower because they stress me out and make me anxious. If I was supposed to attend a shower and it got cancelled last minute because of an emergency I’d just send the gift. Why wouldn’t you? I wouldn’t want to try and squeeze a shower in now and really like the idea of a get together in the spring. DH & I are talking about doing a welcome BaByQ in the early summer so people can come say hi, have a bite to eat, hang out and swim. If people give you too small of baby stuff at your get together in the spring (if that’s what you decide), I’d try to return what I could & then hang on to stuff to regift to future pregnant friends 😉 Good luck with whatever you decide.
Post # 13
I would go ahead with the shower, as long as you know where the items came from they can most likley be exchanged.
Post # 14
Most places (at least around here) as long as the tags are on they let you exchange it or even get store credit, so if you do get too many small clothing for baby, you can do that? I get what you mean though, I wouldn’t want my baby pass around when she is that little either, so a maybe late March baby shower wouldn’t be so bad or even early April.
Post # 15
I don’t know what I would do. I think I’d want to have a tiny gathering (sort of like how people come over for holidays), and people can bring the gifts and you open them whever you want. People can bring some food, or just have cocktail appetizer stuff… It sounds like my kind of shower! You might get something totally useful, or a second of something! You know your family and friends better than I do!
That being said, my newest newphew was taken out to a funeral and the “after party” where people touched and gushed over him and he was 3 days old and he’s as healthy as can be! Maybe everyone WOULD wash their hands, or you could very sweetly pass around some hand sanitizer, OR baby might sleep through the whole party! I’m thinking you’ll be too tired to host ANYTHING, and it would be better to have it be before baby is born. 🙂