- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Ok bees, hopefully you can all help me feel better about this situation.
My FI and I only recently started looking at venues. We looked at our second option today. We just got finished crunching numbers when we got home, and our venue for cocktail hour/reception is $32,000. I have read in magazines and websites that receptions are only 1/2 of the total cost you will pay for your entire wedding. That is a $64,000 wedding. Keeping this in mind, I am FREAKING OUT!!!!
My parents said they are willing to pay $20,000 total, for whatever I need. My parents are by no means wealthy, they have worked very hard their entire lives to support our family and we have not lived “cushy” whatsoever. I will not go over the amount of what my parents are so graciously offering.
My FI comes from a much wealthier family. My FI alone is able to pay $20,000 total, as he just has that kind of money. He will not go any higher than his amount either. I am without a job, and have been looking for months so there is no way of me estimating how much I can contribute, if at all if I don’t get employed within a year.
Here is where my issue comes in. We are inviting 275 guests, 200 OF WHICH ARE FI’S FAMILY. I asked him tonight if his parents don’t think of the “etiquette” of pitching in financially, and he flipped out. He said it is not tradition, and his parents won’t think to offer us any money or help. I can’t help but feel like that is so unfair and downright rude, it’s making me so upset. I don’t think its fair my parents who have MUCH less money than his parents have to pay for a wedding where my family isn’t even 1/3 of the guests invited. I think I should have the say to cut a lot of his family members, but out of “respect” we have to invite them. People who I have NEVER MET!!!!!!!!
What do I do, bees? I can’t come to terms with the fact that we are going to be well above our budget, and the people who I think should help contribute won’t even offer. Have any of you been in this situation? Have any of you been WAY above budget, what have you done?
I don’t think having a “less” of a reception is possible, we are already picking venues we are having to settle for because of prices and the size of our wedding. Also, his family expects a lot out of weddings. If you don’t have a chocolate fountain, horse and carriage, trio plate at reception then they will not be “impressed”. I HATE dealing with these kind of expectations when they aren’t willing to contribute. OMG this is so frustrating!