Resisting the urge to text him. :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I assume you ended the engagement for a reason.  If you want to be with him, be with him.  If you don’t, don’t.  And if you don’t want to be with him, don’t fret over whether he’s with someone else — that’s not your business anymore.  Sorry you’re hurting.  =(

Post # 4
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@rosetea:  cut it off clean. Delete his phone number from your phone, erase the text history and block him on FB and put a thick coat of antiseptic on the wound with a night out with your girlfriends and let the wound heal. The longer you let it fester, the bigger the scar.  

Post # 5
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Stop checking FB. Delete him. Seeing his updates is virtually hanging out. You shouldn’t read what he’s doing or spending time with. You need to heal so time to ditch him virtually and delete him from your phone.

Best of luck with a new happier life! There will be rough times at first but you have the strength to push through!

Post # 6
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@rosetea:  I took the time to look up your older post about the breakup… it is really best to just cut off all contact with him. You were in a relationship for so long from such a young age that he is really all you’ve known so of course you want to go running back to him.

What you need are distractions and lots of them. Perhaps start a new morning routine, join a group/club… heck, break out a tub of ice cream! 

Everytime you want to get back together you need to remind yourself why you ended it, write yourself out a note to read every time you feel like this so you have a physical reminder!

Hang in there!

Post # 7
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Cut off any and all contact you can have with him. If a friend wants to talk about him, tell them that it’s probably for the best if you keep quiet on that front. Go out with the girls and have a good time. You’ve earned it.

Post # 8
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe it is an indicator of you still wanting to be with him, but maybe it’s also just because the break up is new, and your routine is out of whack. If I were you I would text him and tell him that you just need a few days to a week to think about things, that you won’t be out trying to find someone new during that time because you will be seriously considering what you want moving forward. Tell him that him texting you is confusing you, so you just need some time away. Give yourself those couple of days. I’m not going to say you’re going to know exactly what you want out of the rest of your life, or that you’ll know that you’ll be able to completely get over him eventually, but just having the time to clear your head will help you see better than you are now.

Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee

@rosetea: I believe you can never really get closure from the person you need closure about. This is the time to spend with your friends, family, (and us bees, of course). Build yourself a good support team until that need-to-text feeling passes. Get a journal and write until your hand hurts how much you miss him and why it didn’t work and everything you wish you could say to him, but for heavens sake, DO NOT SAY IT TO HIM, and don’t delete him either. That will just make it feel even more like a goodbye than it is, and cause a huge emotional backlash that will make you re-add him again and feel like you need to “apologize.” I say play hard to get. He’s hopeful about getting back together, so use that. Show him what he’s missing. Don’t answer his calls (for now) and don’t text unless he texts you first, but basically go back to the pre-dating mindset. And if/when he tries to bring back the intimacy he had with you, then you can open up to him more (slowly). Of course, all my own opinion. Good luck with your situation; I know it’s tough. 

Post # 10
Member
2327 posts
Buzzing bee

@rosetea:  Honestly, if he wants to move on that’s fully in his right and it’s not fair for you to text him because you’re afraid that might happen. You decided you wanted to end the relationship, because it was worth not having it to explore other options in your life. This was your choice, and you need to respect him and not text him. It’s just not a nice thing to do. Obviously you both still care about each other, but mark this as day one of you going out on this mission you decided you wanted to be on, and do what you’ve set out to do. Like others said, get new routines, fill your time with other activities, enjoy being able to do what you want when you want! We all know how hard it is to let someone go that has become such an integral part of your life, but it does get easier. Of course you could discover that after doing some soul-searching and single living, that he is in fact the one you want to spend your life with, BUT you’ve gotta give yourself and him the time to figure that out. If he moves on, unfortunately that was the gamble you were willing to take. For all you know, you may be the one who ends up moving on! Either way, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time, I promise it’ll get better. *hugs*

 

Post # 11
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@rosetea:  my best advice. What you do not see or hear cannot hurt you. Even if you do not want to unfriend him on fbook, I STRONGLY suggest you hide him from your feed. You don’t need that reminder while you are healing. Be polite if he texts you if there is hope of a reconciliation but don’t text if you broke it off. That’s not fair to him either.

Post # 12
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Gem_Fem:  Op stated in a previous post that she broke it off with him. I agree that journal writing is a good idea.:)

OP, I know he wasn’t a bad guy but you broke it off for a reason. Think of his feelings, too, and stop contact for his sake, so he can move on. Do you miss HIM or the routine you had? If you genuinely want to be with him, without reservation, then you need time to realize that because he wants to be with you forever.

Post # 13
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@rosetea:  Don’t text him and don’t worry about him moving on…I know that is so hard to do.  Do you have some good girlfriends you can go out with and enjoy yourself?  

Post # 14
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

@rosetea:  You broke up with him. Delete him from your phone and social media. I understand you’re sad but do not contact him and don’t worry about what he is doing Focus on yourself and being with your friends and your family right now.

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