(Closed) Resource Guide for the BROKEN HEARTS CLUB. Post tips here!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 5
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

Good idea for a thread! I am about 1 month post breakup, and I’ve been reading Getting Past Your Breakup – How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0738213284/ref=rdr_ext_tmb) and I have found it helpful. I’ve also just been trying to keep busy as much as possible.

Hang in there. I’ve found that my emotions have been all over the place right now, but when I’m at my worst I just try to remind myself that it will pass and eventually I’ll feel better.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I don’t have a book to reccomend but I have a very important piece of advice (though I guess it’s more of a story) to share.

In my first year of university I met a man, we started dating and I was absolutely head over heels in love. To this day I have never been so infatuated. We both had some issues surrounding commitment, however, and a relationship can only really handle one commitment-phobe so we decided to end it. The following year was the hardest year of my life because we stayed close friends. I mean, I saw him just as much as when we were dating because we shared the same group of friends, several times a week. We actually went to the pub together with all our friends the night after we broke up. 

I love my friends and because they were really “his friends” that I got close to through him, I knew that if there was ever any choice between him and I, it would be him. The way I made sure that wouldn’t happen was to keep it so friendly between him and I that no one ever felt they had to pick sides. 

Being around him so often made it damn near impossible to get over him. I was bent out of shape about our breakup for twice the length of time we were together. It sucked. When he started seeing one of our other friends, I kept my mouth shut and stayed nice. When he started talking about getting back together but was really wishy-washy about it I didn’t complain to our friends. 

One of the friends I managed to keep because I was careful about staying on good terms with my ex was my ex’s roommate, Brad. Around a year after my ex and I ended things, Brad and I wanted to start something. We are perfect for one another and love each other in every way. We are getting married next May.

The person who was happiest for Brad and I was my ex. He knew us both so well that he knew from the moment we went to him and asked if he was ok with us seeing each other we would be together for the rest of our lives. My ex is now a groomsman. If I hadn’t stayed friends with my ex, I would have never stayed friends with Brad and we would have never discovered our love for one another.

I know it’s hard to not hate him. I know it’s hard to see him, but sometimes taking the high road leads you to the best thing in your life. I know this can’t work in every situation, but if you have a chance to stay friends, it’s tough, but do it. 

Post # 7
Member
16 posts
Newbee

When I broke up with my ex fiancé I wrote out a bunch of self affirmations and plans into some scripted hypnosis (downloaded free scripts off the net, can’t remember where sorry)then i SLOWLY read and recorded it onto my phone- it was about an hours worth. Do this ASAP if you are going to; the earlier the better, then you’ll feel better faster! Do a bit of quick research about hypno so you understand how and why it works, too. 🙂

I played it non stop while I slept and used some other hypno CDs too (self esteem and letting go stuff) (DO NOT play hypnosis in the car or while doing anything that you need to concentrate on- you can record affirmations only for those times!) Dr Wayne Dyer does some nice CDs or MP3s too.

Ive had some pretty bad break ups, I can honestly say that that made things a thousand times easier and better. 

Be sure to write what you want for the future in current speak even if its not true yet ie “I am calm and happy, my life is full of joy and love. I am furfilled by my work and i keep my body strong and healthy by feeding it good foods and exercising in ways that are fun.”

I think I used heaps of Louise Hays stuff from “you can heal your life” 

Good luck. It gets soo much better and hopefully you’ll learn that you will not put up with any crap.

Xxx

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