Respecting RSVP Dates

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think I’ll be speaking for most of the bees when I say that it seems just about impossible to have all your RSVPs in by the actual deadline. It just doesn’t happen, it sucks, but it doesn’t.

Post # 4
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

*face palm*

I don’t understand WHY it’s so hard for people to stick something that is pre-stamped and addressed back in the mail!  I’ve gotten some back for the wedding, but they’re trickling in slowly.  I have another 1.5 months before my deadline, though.  I didn’t send them out too long ago.

I’ve been told about my shower which is next weekend and that the invitations were sent out with “regrets only.”  Some people (About 6) were good enough to phone that they can’t make it.  We’re way past the RSVP deadline now and a lot of people are saying in passing, (not calling) that they can’t make it or they’re “not sure yet.”  I feel so terrible that people have incurred costs for a shower that people don’t have the decency to RSVP their regrets to.  This has surely been the most frustrating part of planning so far!  /vent

Post # 5
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@DeeVine1217:  Oh my RSVP date came and went and I was still missing 25 families. I had to email and get responses from them. Sad to say my wedding is in 4 days and I still have not heard a thing from 3 families even after I have emailed/called.

Post # 6
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@DeeVine1217:  Sorry to bring even more negative news but we had to hunt down a TON of people. I was pretty disapointed. We didn’t even hear back from our follow up with some people. 

I would suggest waiting at least 2 business days to allow for RSVPs that were sent on the due date (we got a ton of these).

Post # 7
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We only got half of ours back even though they were stamped and only had to be put in the mailbox. I waited 2 weeks before calling around the other 50% just incase they posted on the due date or they rsvps were coming from afar. Needless to say i got none in the mail within that 2 week period. It was quite annoying. I felt rude having to ring people for final numbers.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@DeeVine1217:  They won’t all RSVP. With ours, most people did surprisingly. I think we had only a short list of about 20 that needed to be called and checked on. We just called at 6:30P on a weeknight (most people are home at that time) and asked if they were coming.

Post # 10
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

One thing that will help in following up is dividng it between your family – my mom contacted her friends/family, my dad his, my in-laws theirs, and we contacted our friends. Gonna have to do it!

Post # 12
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DeeVine1217:  i received all but 6 by my deadline (which was yesterday). 

we sent them out on 5/24. starting around 6/24, we found a good way to nudge people along by calling, texting, emailing to say “hey! some peopel didn’t get theirs (true story) through standard mail and we had to send duplicates so now i’m a little scared and wanted to make sure you got your invitation.” 

now, usually we got “yes! i got it. i just dropped the rsvp in the mail.” or “yep! i’m waiting to find out my husband’s schedule but either way i’m coming.” or “no, i didn’t get it yet.” (this normally followed up with a text the next day of “ok! i got it!”) 

it was a good way to get people engaged or to look through their mail just in case they are the type of people to ignore it.

about a week ago, i did remind a few people but these were people who i could say “hey! what the hell, dude? are you coming? if so, just go online and rsvp.” for the people that i wasn’t so familiar with, i just had to wait. 

the 6 that are outstanding are:

1. dad’s best friend and his wife – something fishy going on there. gonna find out on sunday at church. 

2. another couple – the husband is a pilot and has to wait until august for his schedule

3. a friend who is pregnant and due 2 days after the ceremony lol they told me long ago that they will decide at the last minute and understandably so. caterer doesn’t need numbers until 8/21 (3 days before the wedding). i’m not telling anyone else this but i’m going to wait to see if she has the baby before then before declining for her.

Post # 13
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

oh! and then the worse people of all… 

“yes i received the invitation. i haven’t forgotten… but the deadline isn’t until ___, right?” 

and they give you no other reason for sitting on it. they just choose to wait until the deadline to play a game of chicken with their own memory. *sigh*

Post # 14
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I gave an earlier RSVP date than was necessary because I wanted to have time to track people down without getting those “I put it in the mail before the date!” excuses. Mine was Monday, and I’m giving everyone until next week before I start getting calls.

I did get a text from the mom of one of my BMs/family friend that was really sweet saying she’s so sorry it was late, they were away, and is it too late for them to come? She said she completely understood if it was, and asked if it was okay for the caterer. So thoughtful!

Post # 15
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We had 20% of our invites coming in after the RSVP date, It annoyed me to no end. People are just rude and thoughtless. I almost felt like saying, I guess you don’t want to come since you can’t RSVP on time.

Post # 16
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We gave people almost 2 months to RSVP. It’s a week before our deadline of August 1st and we only have 50% of ours back. People are just ridiculous. And I’m not talking about the ones who were kind enough to tell us that they are sending in theirs late, those I don’t mind.

 

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