Respecting Your Elders

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
Post # 46
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

He knows – and for whatever reason has chosen to act as he has.  I am sorry Bee.  I thought at first he had newly married her – but because of the length of this .. trust me, as much as you love him, you must understand he has made his choice.  His sweet passivness has also allowed you and your siblings to be pawns in this drama.   

Post # 47
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It’s possible he didn’t know about the abuse if he was away and traveling for work a lot. My dad was gone a lot while I was growing up, sometimes 10 months out of the year. Maybe he knew she’s crazy but didn’t know about the abuse. Either way, he needs to know. OP probably also feels like she doesn’t want to lose the one parent she does have left. I think you need to tell him everything that happened to you, including the abuse. Either way I wouldn’t invite her to the wedding. You can see if your dad can hide it but if you don’t think he can, then he probably shouldn’t be going. It sucks but he chose to marry and stay with her. 

Post # 48
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m not inviting my own mother to my wedding because she let my father beat me as a kid then toss me aside as an adult, then her own mental issues have caused me to be the adult in the last few years. She caused me too much pain to deal with it any longer. 

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. 

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