Post # 1
I got a STD the other day for a wedding I have had circled on my calendar for over a year. I have been friends with the bride since kindergarten, and while we don’t talk all the time, we have talked about our weddings and I would think it is pretty obvious that I am well aware of the date. The bride herself told me STDs weren’t really a wedding priority of theirs and they were only sending Save-The-Date Cards because a friend’s mom volunteered to make them. She just messaged me on facebook saying “just wondering if you received your save the date yet… most people have. just checking.” I am not sure how to take it. I just zipped back “i did receive it; the date is indeed saved! :)” but the “most people have part” is sort of awkward / accusatory to me. Did I commit a faux pas by not telling her I got it? I never really thought there was a protocol about responding to Save-The-Date Cards, and I really didn’t think it was a big deal considering our history. Now, I feel bad.
Post # 3
I don’t think any response is necessarily expected?? The next time you talk w/ her you might bring up that you got it, but I wouldn’t expect a guest to call me or email just to say they received it.
Post # 4
I imagine she just wanted to make sure you got it because she considers you an important guest.
I called a couple of my out of town friends to make sure they got theirs because I want to make sure they had time to make travel arrangements and that I had their addresses right.
I doubt it was intended to offend!
Post # 5
I didn’t think you were supposed to actually respond to STD. Anything that doesn’t come with RSVP info won’t get a response. Wouldn’t that negate the need for an invitation? I don’t think you have a reason to feel bad.
Post # 6
I think that she felt that you were important enough to make sure you got it!
I worried that perhaps save teh dates would get misdelivered, etc. So I have contacted a couple people -just offhandedly- on FB as well just to make sure they got them. 🙂
For me it’s a way to make sure I got the address right so if I didn’t I don’t make the same mistake for the invite!
Post # 7
I don’t think its a big deal. I’m guilty of asking the same thing! I didn’t do it in an accusatory way, I just asked because I know how some things can get lost in the mail or I could of made an error and sent it to the wrong address. She probably just wanted to make sure it got to ya.
Post # 8
Yeah, I guess it was just adding “most people have” that got to me, like just so I know everyone else has replied already! And she would obviously know from them that they were delivered, so if she were just wondering about mine, she could have left that part out! Oh, well. I am not upset or anything, I just worried that I did something wrong and this was her subtle way of letting me know and should be more apologetic to her!
Post # 9
I didn’t expect people to respond to mine. But, I did ask. This was because I sent 3 to one address and they arrived on 3 separate days . . .. I live in Houston and the ones to Austin and Los Angeles arrived the Monday after they were sent (late on a Friday evening). But the 3 to one address took almost a week! I got worried that all of them didn’t make it even though they were mailed at the same time.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
You don’t have to respond to Save-The-Date Cards, but I’ve heard of a few people being offended when someone didn’t respond to one. So…. maybe we should all default to, “I got your STD, it’s soooooo cute!!!!” and then no one’s feelings get hurt and everyone knows it was received. 😉
Post # 11
Do you live in the same area as her? I ask because we made a point to check in with friends in different regions, so we would know when the California ones got to their recipients, etc.
Either way, I wouldn’t read too much into “most people have,” I doubt she’s trying to call you out on some supposed etiquette mistake… it sounds like the sort of thing that you type without thinking about it. Either she’s worried about them getting delivered and she’s been checking around and found that “most” have been received, or she was expecting you to mention the STD b/c you two talk about weddings. Either way, you’re fine.
We got responses to maybe 10 of the 175 Save-The-Date Cards we sent out, a few compliments on the STD itself, a few random friends saying “cool, we’ll be there,” a few people who thought that it was the invitation and were concerned b/c it didn’t have a venue listed, a few people who had prior plans and wanted to let us know so that we could invite more people.
Post # 12
Etiquette dictates no response is necessary to a STD. You must respond to a wedding invitation however, and can still send regrets even if you have received a STD and not responded.
That is a little strange she wanted everyone to alert her they received it.. we only had a couple people comment about receiving ours and I never actually asked anyone. I know the date has been saved for our wedding party and immediate families, so I don’t really care to be honest.
Post # 13
Maybe she was just reaching out to you since you don’t keep in touch anymore to feel you out.
Post # 14
Maybe a bunch of people got back to her about it in a casual manner? “Hey, I got your STD! I can’t wait for your wedding” and stuff so she might have thought that you might not have gotten one? Or just be randomly checking?
I certainly wouldn’t reply to a STD and I think what you replied back was totally fine. I wouldn’t have responded that I got the STD normally anyways unless it was a couple I didn’t speak to on a very regular basis or hadn’t known they were engaged.