Post # 1
So irritated….my response cards I have sent out to our guests read like this:
Please respond by October 5, 2013.
We have reserved 2 seats in your honor.
Mr. And Mrs. joe Shmoe
Accepts with pleasure_____ Declines with regret_____
Please initial entree selection.
Seems simple enough to me….apparently multiple members from FI’s family don’t understand what they’re supposed to do on the response cards they’ve received and darling FI doesn’t seem to know how to explain to them what they’re expected to do with the response card when they’ve been calling him to ask him what they are supposed to do. Whats even more annoying is FI doesn’t get it?! Its not that hard!! Is it me?? You’re either coming or not and if you are coming then choose what you each want to eat either chicken or beef. If we were only offering one option for dinner we wouldn’t be giving two choices to choose from. FI wanted to do a split menu from the start and I didn’t. Knew this would all be too complicated…. so alot of his people haven’t sent the cards because they don’t understand what to do! I am just super annoyed and just needed to vent and get it off my chest. FI and I just argued over it because I don’t understand whats so difficult about the damn card that they all don’t seem to understand 🙁
Post # 3
It could be that the arrangement is tripping them up — the names being after the “accept” or “regret” lines — but that’s so minor.
Hmmm, I really don’t know what they aren’t understanding.
Post # 4
@Rhopalocera: I actually just fixed the post the names are before the accept or decline line. I still don’t see whats so hard 🙁
Post # 5
Oh, ok lol.
Yeah, there really isn’t anything difficult about it. The only other thing I could see someone getting tripped up on is where it says “Please initial entree selection”. Maybe they don’t know what “initial” means, but that can’t be it… Can it? I mean, that’s what most response cards say, and it’s so basic and easy to understand.
I’m at a loss, too lol. I feel your pain. I hope you’re able to clear this up for fiancée, and that he is able to explain it to his family.
Post # 6
Ya I don’t get it either…
My first Wedding was over 30 Years ago (circa 1980)
And all Etiquette things such as this…
Filling out a reply card properly and returning it on time, was never a HUGE issue…
Easy Peasy… and pop it in the mail
I had over 100 People at my first Wedding, and not a problem at all with the RSVPs whatsoever
Somehow in the last Generation (as in 25 Years) all this common knowledge has disappeared
It is like everyone’s been off on some far off planet and been out of touch for 2+ decades with basic manners and common sense.
And it shows up here on WBee everyday with lots of stories that are IMO filled with what overwise should be unecessary DRAMA & TRAUMA
I cannot imagine at this rate what the world will be like when all the Brides today have Daughters who are planning their own Weddings in about 25 Years.
Post # 7
@This Time Round: I am dumbfounded…either accept or decline…beef or chicken! You would think I made it an algebraic problem of some sort or something :/
Post # 8
@Rhopalocera: yea me too…he shut me down for the night lol doesn’t want to talk about it anymore
Post # 9
@Tinkerbride13: hahahaha! I’m sorry, I promise I’m not laughing at you. I just find it hilarious that people don’t know how to fill out a response card.
Could you split the incomplete cards down the middle with your FI? You contact half and he contact the other half?
“Oh! I am so pleased you’re coming! Now, on the card it asked if you wanted a chicken or beef dinner. Which would you prefer?”
/drama. (well, hopefully.)
Post # 10
@This Time Round: I’m guessing the parents of this last generation didn’t teach their children these things or have these occasions enough for them to see how these things are done. When something is common or common knowledge and then seems to become far less common, that’s usually the reason — the parents didn’t teach it. The new generation isn’t likely to learn things such as manners very well if they aren’t taught or shown it, and, boy, have many of them not been taught or shown manners, much less wedding etiquette.
They’ll just find another way to organize weddings. It’s not as if response cards were always the norm, or the way things have been done for decades is how things were always done. What’s appropriate and inappropriate, what’s expected and what isn’t, what offends and what doesn’t; that’s all changed before, and it’s bound to change again.
Post # 11
Sorry bees who won’t like this – but you know why so many people can’t fill out a simple RVSP? Because everyone wants to have a childless wedding! If children aren’t involved in weddings, how are they meant to know what to do once they finally get invited as their own person?!
ETA – How hard is it to GOOGLE something?!?! ARGH! Surely a Google search will bring up multiple threads on the Bee, Martha Stewart etc?
Post # 12
That shouldn’t be hard. Wow. Just wow.
Post # 13
I had the same problem…sort of.
I used the whole “initial by each guest’s choice” and I got back quite a few that just had “2” or “1” or some other number by each choice. So I had to call them to find out who chose what. It was really annoying because all the problem was that people are lazy and don’t read.
Post # 14
@IzzyBear: Actually it makes a lot of sense to number it. How are two people supposed to squeeze their initials into one space? A lot of people think it is only the numbers that matter. The way you have it worded makes it plain, but other wordings are often not as clear.
Post # 15
@Rhopalocera: I think you’re right. I know that I personally haven’t had too many occasions where I needed to fill out a card like that…of course I’m still in my early 20s so maybe that’s the reason.
@Tinkerbride13: I bet it’s the initialing that is throwing them off…maybe since there is only one line for either beef or chicken, they’re like whaaaa? lol that’s the only thing I can think of that might be confusing, and even that is clear if you read the directions. Or maybe they don’t know which initials to use? Since the invite doesn’t have the wife’s full name or whatever? Who knows. It’s funny that your FI can’t figure out how to explain it.
Post # 16
@beemyname: the people that followed directions had no problem “squeezing” all their initials in the space so I know that wasn’t an issue. I needed to know exactly who was getting what because it has to go on their place cards, so a number wouldn’t suffice. I would expect people to only write a number if I hadn’t specifically stated “initial” by each choice. The fact that even you think the wording is clear, means that some people simply didn’t read the card…which annoys because they’re supposed to be adults