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Nope. Of the last 4 weddings I was invited to, 1 was RSVP online, 2 were by a special email address, and 1 was by traditional response card.
ETA: I have many people who are RSVPing to my wedding through my parents or straight to us. And many who just hand delivered their RSVP card. I thought it would be so fun to get them in the mail but now I wish I wouldn't have done that. I spent the time mailing an invite and prestamping the response card and they can't spend the time to send it back. But I'm sure they would go online!
I think it's fine - if you set up a free wedding website, you can have it an option for people to rsvp on there too. I think that's what we're going to do.
I think that would be ok for a less formal wedding/reception. However, if you want a formal wedding/reception, you should send a response card with a prestamped, preaddressed envelope. Your invites tell your guests what the mood and formality of the wedding will be!
Traditionally, guests were expected to reply with their own stationary and anything else was a no-no. Nowadays, it has become expected for the hosts to provide a reply card. Be aware that even if you have email or a phone number, some guests will be confused as to why you are not going the traditional route and claim they don't know what to do, especially if you have older guests. What you are planning is not inappropriate though.
@SoontobeMrsMurray: Its not tacky not to include RSVP cards. In fact, going by strict etiquette, its actually considered a bit insulting to include them as your guests should know enough to RSVP without being prompted.
Unfortunately, most people don't know any better and may think you don't want or need RSVP's if you doin't include the little cards. I think if you want to include a note on your invitations to either call to RSVP or respond to such and such e-mail, that would be fine. It doesn't break any etiquette rules that I know of.
@SoontobeMrsMurray: It's certainly not tacky to leave out response cards. In fact, the old rule was that response cards should never be included, because including them would insult your guests by suggesting that they did not know to send an "informal" written in blue or black ink with their response. Given that most people don't know that these days, response cards are permissible. However, they are certainly not required.
The only real question is whether your particular guests are more likely to reply by e-mail or phone, as opposed to by postal mail. Only you can know that.
I don't think it is tacky to not include response cards, as long as you include a way for them to reply. We received a wedding invitation last week with no response card, no phone number, no website, no nothing; very frustrating. As long as your potential guests have a way to respond, you will be fine. Our invitations will include a response card and phone number.
I agree with pp's that it's actually more "proper" tradtionally to omit the response card entirely. Although nowadays most people include them. I am just putting RSVP on my reception cards and I'm sure my guests will figure it out, they were all raised in civilization. A lot of times the response cards don't get sent back and the bride has to call a ton of people anyway - I can't stomach the thought of all that postage and paper going to waste!
No, it's not tacky at all. You have to do what is best for you and people will understand either way. Weddings are no longer in a closed box of "right vs wrong," do what feels right for you. The email account idea is cute!
Please don't tell anyone (other than us of course) that the reason you are leaving out response cards is "to save a ton of money". It isn't hospitable to tell your guests that you inconvenienced them to save money.
Instead, say that you wanted to make it as convenient as possible for everyone, by giving them different easy options to reply, and that you respect that the people who like formality don't like to have to fill out written forms instead of writing a proper reply (I certainly don't!). Make be it about thoughtfulness and respect rather than money, whatever motive it was that inspired your first thoughts.
Are response cards really that expensive?? How much will this really set you back? My RSVP cards come with my invitations. I realize there is postage. But I think this is a fairly important part of a wedding, maybe there is somewhere else you can save money on.
Thanks for the reply, but I am not ordering the traditional invitation either, therefore, it would cost me extra to make/order those and postage too.
@noritake22: What wording was on your response card? I want to send a response card so that they respond via email or by phone, and I don't know how to write that....
@BabyA: The most proper way to do this, is on the invitation itself. You don't need a "response card" at all (in fact, truly formal etiquette doesn't acknowledge that "response cards" even exist.)
On the lower left corner of your invitation, in slightly smaller font, have engraved:
R.s.v.p.
(555)-555-1234
BabyA@email.isp
Nothing wrong/tacky with some type of 'electronic' RSVPs. Setting up a website would be ideal, and for your older invites, make sure (at least by word of mouth) that they know who to rsvp to/through if they themselves are not interwebs-friendly. ;)
We're doing one only because we are trying to tame the number of guests (as in, We have reserved # seats for you; Yes, __ out of # will be attending (with meal choices) or No, declines with regret. We are begging to keep our guest count low and doing that type of Response Card seems to be our safest bet.
@awesomeryl: Make that "for your non-interwebs-friendly invitees," please.
I cut my teeth on hollerith cards and DEC-writers; and still teach word-processing, databases and spreadsheets to college and highschool students. There are some pretty computer-illiterate under-thirties out there, thank-you very much; and some octogenarians (like my brother Aloysius) who are running around cleaning viruses out and setting up operating systems for people less than half their age.
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I am trying to save a ton of money when planning my wedding and I was wondering if it would be tacky if I didn't include response cards and just asked people to either call me or email me their RSVP response....I was thinking of opening an email account with a cute and fun name just for the wedding responses....it this tacky?
Thanks!