Post # 1
As my wedding day gets closer, I have been asked a few times this week by different people “Why do you want that’s not on your registry?” How should I respond to this? So far I just said that its their choice if they want to give a gift and my FI and I are just happy that they will be spending the day with us. Is this proper? I don’t think its ok if I mention something in particular but the guests acknowledge that they know the registry is there as well. Would you say anything different?
Post # 3
I think you’ve got the best answer/response already. According to etiquette, you’re not supposed to ask for or expect gifts. If someone does get something that’s not on your registry, I guess the best thing is to cross your fingers and hope the store has an easy return policy if you don’t like it.
Post # 4
People keep asking me what I want since I dont have a registry. And I always say “we really arent expecting a gift” or “surprise me” or “we’ll be happy no matter what”
Post # 5
“Why do you want that’s not on your registy?” What? Are they asking you what you want? Or are they asking you why you want THAT, it is not on your registry?
I’m confused. What’s the question? If they are asking you what you want just say that you registered at ___________. Can’t wait to celebrate with you.
I think it’s perfectly fine to tell them where you registered when ASKED.
Post # 6
@vmec:I think she meant “WHAT do you want that’s not on your registry”
Post # 7
I’m having this issue with my baby registry. I just tell them the thing I want most off of my registry, cloth diapers.
Post # 8
@gcwest: If that’s the case, I would just say cash. Or give them a reason to buy off the registry. Something like: “well the things on the registry would be very much appriciated as we are looking to furnish our place/ put the finishing touches.” or “a gift card for such and such would be lovely.” or “cash towards our honeymoon in ____”.
Post # 9
I think your response is perfect. Personally I find the “What do you want that’s NOT on your registry?” to be an annoying question – the point of a registry is for people to know what you’d like if they choose to give you a gift.
That question makes it seem like you just picked random things (which in most cases is NOT true – people spend a ton of time on their registries).
Post # 10
Hey Sorry, I just realized my error in my question. I totally meant to write “what do you want thats not on your registry?” I registered for inexpensive home stuff like kitchen tools and stuff for a bathroom. My friends want to give me an exciting gift or something not boring they said. However, I don’t really have anything in mind and I appreciate their thoughtfulness in trying to find a gift. I just didn’t know how to respond.
Post # 11
I had a friend ask me this today. He’ll be flying in from the UK so I told him just having him there is an amazing gift, but if he really wants to get us something off-registry to make it something unique from the UK. He said he loved that idea… I have a feeling he’ll be asking his mum for suggestions! lol
Post # 12
Oh man…this was my least favourite question before our wedding. It’s so bloody awkward. You then have to think about cost, the person, what isn’t on your registry that you’d actually want. It’s lame, makes you feel gift-grubby when you just want them to come and have a good time, and really puts you on the spot.
I was asked this by my husband’s family and honestly mumbled something about the registry and I was just glad that they were coming. The follow up was “Not the registry. What do you guys really need?” I mumbled something again because what I wanted to say was “I’ve already made a list…which was difficult enough. You can pick something that you’ll know we’ll love and need at a price point that you want to spend”. Finally, I just thought up a standard answer: Corningware (which was on our registry, but whatevs) and white serving dishes….easy peasy…I guess. If I had to do it again, I would talk to my MIL about the situation and to ask what I should have said.
The family members that asked me about it gave us money in the end, so…yeah.