Post # 1
This is not for a wedding.
I throw a rather large Halloween dinner party every year with great success. It is the one day I really look forward to all year. I just sent out my invitations and one of my closest friends “Jane” responded via text.
Sorry, but if “Ellen” is going, I am going to have to pass. I really don’t get along with her. After tons of trial and error. (SIC)
I don’t know how to respond to this. I’ve been friends with Jane for a really long time and Ellen for only a short time. I would love for both to come, but I don’t deal well with drama and don’t want to be caught in the middle.
As far as I know, there is nothing specific which happened between the two, and it’s all just a bunch of BS Facebook drama… comments regarding a band one likes and the other detests etc… it’s really very silly and immature.
Post # 3
Ignore. Not worth the drama, she’ll just miss out!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Ignore it… not your problem!
Post # 5
If she’s a close friend then just be honest and tell her you don’t deal well with drama and don’t want to be caught in the middle. So she can be mature about it and come to your party or be childish and stay home.
Post # 6
For all the appeal of Jell-O wrestling…
Just leave it alone and let her make her own decisions. Tell her you’ll miss her and hope she’ll change her mind, and then move on to other things.
Post # 7
Wow, it she can’t grow up and deal for a night for the sake of her friend, she’s being a brat. But there’s nothing you can do. Tell her you’ll miss her, and that maybe you can get together at another point soon. Then drop it.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the thoughts!
Am I wrong to be a little hurt and upset that she’d let this silly drama get in the way of a yearly tradition? She knows that this is a big event for me, and I put a ton of work into it yearly.
Post # 9
Well she is being really immature.
I wouldn’t ignore her but I would be the bigger person and send something like “You will be missed, I’m sorry you two can’t work out your differences.”
Post # 10
Simply say OK and call it a day.
Post # 11
@metalbride: I don’t think you’re wrong to be hurt, but I think you just need to try to put it aside and not dwell on it, because she’s being childish and immature.
Post # 12
I’d just say “Okay, you’ll be missed.” and leave it at that.
Post # 13
I agree with PPs – tell her, “sorry you can’t make it” and move on. It’s not wrong for you to feel hurt about her attitude, that’s natural. But she has to understand she can’t dictate your social life. She can grow up and be a part of it, or she can isolate herself.
Post # 14
“Haven’t received her RSVP yet but I’ll miss having you here!”
Post # 15
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt so I’d also throw in, “If you change your mind please let me know 🙂
Post # 16
That’s really crappy of Jane to put you in that position. I can understand if it was an intimate lunch date with a handful of people – but this is a big party!
In any case, I wouldn’t feed the drama. I’d just say something like:
“Ellen is invited, but I don’t know if she’s coming or not, at this point. I’d really miss you, if you declined and want you to be there! If she RSVP’s a no, I’ll let you know… but I hope you’ll change your mind and attend regardless.”