Post # 1
I suppose I’m just being emotional but I figure we’re engaged so I can plan our wedding how my fiance and I see fit, yes?
My fiance and I are in our mid/late 20’s and dated 4 years and all that so why is it I get comments about every little step that has been accomplished “already”? We got engaged in August and are getting married in April (8 month engagement).
it was a long time coming and yes I do have a dress, ring and date…BUT WE’RE ENGAGED!!
Has anyone eles come across these comments or has has anyone else been upset by comments?
Post # 3
Yes! omg! It bugs me sooo much. I am a type-A person working full time and finishing a master’s degree, so yeah, sorry, I budget time wisely and do wedding stuff when I can and I think that’s a good thing.
My theory is that people who say that secretly wanted more input in the planning, especially if they are a family member.
Kudos to you for getting things done on your schedule.
Post # 4
Yep, we had a 9 month engagement. We got engaged in October, and wanted a summer wedding. A year and 9 months was too long, so what else are you going to do?
I got many a “shotgun wedding” jokes (although the math is off.. but whatever), and that we don’t waste much time. I got this mostly from people who planned weddings back in the 70’s when the wedding machine wasn’t nearly what it is today.
8-9 months is NOT a long time to plan a wedding. You pretty much HAVE to come out running.
Post # 5
@fitzly: Thank you. I for the most part let the comments roll off but It always stings a little at first and I’m not sure why. Today a close married friend of ours said “Wow, you didn’t waste anytime!” when she heard we looked at wedding bands and I picked mine. I know she meant no harm but it’s like…why do people even word it that way!? We’re engaged, with less than a year engagement, my fiance is ok with my choices too…
I feel crazy that it bugs me so much but it just pissees me off everytime I get a comment like that.
Post # 6
One of my BMs said, “I thought it was weird that you were getting your dress so early.” I didn’t get upset but I thought, “Ummm… I didn’t think it was that early. I picked it out with about 9 months to go.”
Is that super early to pick out a dress?
Post # 7
YES!! And it bothers me too!! I was with my fi for a long time so the engagement was long coming. One of the reasons why we didn’t get engaged sooner (we are also in our mid 20’s, dating almost 9 years) was because we were waiting for the right time, financially, to be able to afford a wedding. Both Fi & myself felt that we wanted as short an engagment as possible (ours is 13 months). Once he popped the question, within 2 weeks we had the venue booked. EVERYONE had/has something to say about it, and the most common was/has been EXACTLY what you are getting, the typical :”You didn’t waste anytime huh?”. UGH People can be so rude!
Post # 8
@JenniMichele: I don’t think so! I bought my dress in August and getting married in June! I knew what I wanted so didn’t waste any time..that’s what I tell people.
Post # 9
@JenniMichele: That is not super early in my opinion but even if it were it’s a down right rude thing to say to a woman who has every right to get a damn wedding dress. I got mine with 8 months to spare. My mom and I went to look and I found THE gown and I just couldn’t leave without it. Still no regrets.
@OhBeeHive84: It’s so obnoxious, I don’t get. I’ve never judged someone elses wedding planning choices. It’s an exciting time, so what the heck gives!? Oh well.
Post # 10
yep it is super annoying. I got engaged late August and we are getting married the first week of november. A few days over the 2 month engagement mark.
We waited for a long time before getting engaged, we got a house together, live together why the heck wouldnt we get this show on the road! LOL
Post # 11
I find that you’re going to get comments like that no matter what you do. FI and I decided to have a long engagement for many reasons… and we’re already getting the “that’s so far away, why are you waiting so long?” or “why would you want to be engaged for such a long time?” comments. And then heaven forbid you tell someone you’re thinking about booking a venue soon… it’s “why are you booking/planning so far in advance?” People are rude no matter what you do!
Post # 12
@panterapeach: I know the feeling. Fiance and I have lived together over 2 years. I wanted to get married in November but we knew it wasn’t enough notice. Now that grandparents and friends have our date we’re kinda stuck with April but, yeah.
Post # 13
ya i got that the morning after he proposed (so what if i was excited lol) but we had already been talking about it and collectivly planning for a while. when he asked, i already had a date, my dress, invitation designed and all the bouquets done. oh and my girls all picked out. i know we had a lot done but it wasnt a sudden proposal. i knew it was coming just not when or where…
Post # 14
I think people just don’t realize how long a wedding actually takes to plan. Two weeks after my sister became engaged she had her venue chosen and booked and she just picked her dress out yesterday, one month after getting her ring. She’s planning a July 2011 wedding. I didn’t think anything of it and actually thought that was completely normal.
8 months is a pretty short span of time to plan a wedding! I don’t think there is a such thing as moving too fast when it comes to wedding planning lol. The faster you nail down the big stuff, the sooner you can plan all the little details!
Post # 15
ive been engaged for 5 months now and still have 7 months to go. for a total of 12 month engagement. did that stop me from planning sooner? Nope! the way i look at it is “its my wedding (and FH too) and ill plan what i want when i want! i feel like nothing is ever “done” and there is so much to do still.
it does bother me when people say it but at the same time i think, ill plan little by little and relax more so in the end. where as some brides wait and wait and then have to rush last minute to get it done.
weddings are fun and exciting and its most girls dream to plan the perfect wedding. so that being said, you plan all you want!
not only that, some people dont realize how fast things book up. my FH and i went to check a venue that happened to be set up for a wedding that day and there was a DJ setting up. and of course he was trying to convince us to book him then he asked what our wedding day was and we told him (just shy of a year away) and he said “sorry im already booked!”
p.s. i had my dress within a month of being engaged too!
Post # 16
I get comments like that too because FI and I have a 7 month engagement. But when people say that I just have to remember that most of them have NO clue what all goes in to planning a wedding, so yes, we do have to really plan ahead. 🙂
I wouldn’t worry about it… try to take it as a compliment that you’re getting your planning done quickly and efficiently, then in the month before your wedding you won’t be crazy stressed out!