Post # 1
I live abroad and so does my family. FI’s family lives way out of town and does not get normal USPS delivery. FI lives where we’re planning to get married, about two hours from his parents.
I know that tradition dictates that the RSVPs be sent back to the bride’s family- but since that is abroad, with higher postage and letters maybe going awol… it’s not really an option. I would think that choosing the groom’s parents’ address would be sensible, but that’s not really an option in our case. They have a P.O. box for normal mail, but packages (via UPS etc) have to be sent to the house (they deliver to the boonies!). It would lead to much confusion of where to send what for our guests.
So I think putting my FI’s address as the return address is the most sensible. There would be no problems with the type of mail, and also we wouldn’t have to cart gifts from A to B. I don’t live with him, so I wouldn’t expect to put my name on the return address with his. Is it too uncommon to use FI’s address?
Post # 3
I think you should do what works best, and in your case, I think using your FI’s address will be perfectly fine. It simplifies the situation and will cause less stress. I say go for it.
Post # 4
I agree, go with whatever is easiest. Sometimes etiquettte just doesn’t make sense in life.
Post # 5
I’ve actually never heard the RSVPs get sent to the bride’s family, though I’m not fully versed in etiquette.
That being said, I agree with the previous posters…no reason you have to stick with a rule that is unpractical and ultimately not about being polite. It seems like etiquette is a good guideline, but there’s no reason to stick with it if it’s not necessary and especially if it won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings not to.
Post # 6
It makes the most sense and doesn’t really matter who gets them, honestly. Both my daughters had the responses sent to them so they could have the excitement of opening and tracking them.
Post # 7
I think the brides family rule has more to do with the fact the bride used to still live at home because of her age, and because her family was paying for the wedding so they needed to know how much the wedding would cost.
We’re using our own address since we’re the ones paying.
Do what’s best for you!
Post # 8
@SnowflakeDS: First of all, pre-addressed pre-printed R.s.v.p. cards are not traditional, and are not approved by formal etiquette anyway. They are (supposedly) a convenience to the hostess who (probably with reason nowadays) assumes her family and friends don’t know what etiquette really does require.
Etiquette requires that responses (hand written, on personal stationery or plain white note paper) be sent back to whomever is requesting the pleasure. But, those responses can be directed to whatever mailing address the hostess indicates: including that of a hired social secretary.
So, were I replying to such an invitation, I would address the response to
Mr and Mrs Bride’s Mom
12234 Groomsparents Street