Post # 1
my parents are essentially hosting the wedding (paying for just over 1/2, the balance is mostly FI and I and then his parents helped, too, plus their hosting the RD). Our invite reads “My parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter, My name, to FI’s Name, son of His Parents” blah blah.
FI and I are sendin the invites out (we live in NJ, my parents & wedding is in St Louis, Mo). We’re likely having the RSVPs sent to my parents, even though they don’t care, my family is very proper and since they’re footing most of the bill, it feels right.
So- should the return address on the back flaps of our envelopes be my parents? Or us? Or can I just say screw it and have the RSVPs and the return address be to us? Why is this so difficult?
(also, not sure if this should be in etiquette or pape. Mods, feel free to move)
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Well, my parents are paying for nearly all of our wedding and while it says their names on the invite just like yours I am having the return address and RSVPs come to me. I am handling the guest list and who RSVPs, I need to know the numbers, no one else wanted that job. Since I don’t live near my parents it just doesn’t make sense to me to have the RSVPs go there when I am the one who needs the information. So that’s what I am going to do, not sure if it’s proper or not but I’m doing it!
ETA: Our wedding is taking place where me/FI live too, not where my parents live.
Post # 4
@StL.Ashley: My friend had all her RSVPs go to her wedding planner – the return address was still theirs. Whoever is actually tracking the numbers and meal choices should receive the RSVP’s. I would think that having the return address the same as the RSVP address would make the most sense. That was you’re not getting an invite back as wrong addresses and forgetting to tell your parents and they’re thinking they have to track down an RSVP from people who never actually got their invite!
Post # 5
@Ms_Purple: yeah I definitely feel like it’s just be easier to have them come to us- plus it’d be fun! My parents are a little scatterbrained, rarely get the mail, and aren’t tech savvy. Honestly it stresses me out just thinking of them dealing with all of it!
Post # 6
I would use your adress this way there is no conffusion or miscommunication and you can track RSVP’s .
Post # 7
Definitely have them sent to you. I’ve learned people have also used that address to send gifts and cards, or at least that’s what my family has done since we’ve gotten a gift already.
Post # 8
I think Old World Etiquette says it should go to the hosts (your parents), but it’s a super out-dated rule!
I would just get everything sent to you. Especially if your parents are scatter-brained!
Post # 9
@StL.Ashley: My parents are footing over half the wedding costs for the venue/food too (I’m paying for my dress, invites, centerpieces, veil, dj, officiant, photographer), but I’m having the RSVP’s come to me because I have it all on an excel sheet. And I’m going to be calling people if I don’t get an RSVP anyways, so I’ll need to know. I’m a little OCD about organizing things and being able to see what the outcome is on everything….and my parents don’t mind! It’s all good. Talk with your parents some more and see what they think.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t have trusted ANYone but me to handle my RSVP’s, and even though we were fortunate enough that our parents paid for our weddings, all RSVP’s came from us, and we did all of the leg work on the entire thing. (well most of it)