Post # 1
Sad but true there was major drama at our wedding and people ended up getting kicked out and the situation was so awful my husband and I are unsure if we will continue our friendship with these individuals. I keep getting different opinions regarding the gift. Should we mail the check the one couple wrote us and return the cash the other couple gave us??? PLEASE HELP!!!
Post # 3
I think I would need more information about what happened to really make an opinion. Part of me says that they gave you a gift for the wedding, so it’s rightfully yours, but part of me wonders why you had to kick them out of the wedding.
Post # 4
YUP, more info of the exact scenario (or a stand in one with the same magnitude… if you want to keep the full details private and off the net) would be helpful in determining how to proceed.
Post # 5
I think that you would return the gifts only if you’re sure that you want nothing to do with these people ever again, regardless of exactly what happened. If I were to send a wedding gift back to one of my guests who exhibited poor judgement (got too drunk) it would be a statement that we are not friends anymore and the mere sight of this widget my friend gave me is too painful for me. Now, I’m not contemplating ending any friendships just because some people don’t know when to walk away from an open bar, but you get the idea of what I mean.
Post # 6
Our wedding was actually held at my parents house so we had an open bar. These couples showed up drunk and were quickly cut off. All night they were sitting on my dads pool table as well as using it to set their drinks on. They were asked politely several times to not sit on it. My husband even brought them chairs to sit on. So literally after being asked 15 times to not sit on the table my dad asked not so nicely for the wife to get off. This pissed her husband off and he was nose to nose with my dad attemping to fight him. It took about 3 guys to get this man to leave. To make matters worse these people were in the front yard with their shirts of. I’m seriously so embarrassed this happened at my parents house and that my family was so disrespected by people we thought were friends.
Post # 7
I think if this happened at my wedding I would DEF keep the gift. They were in the wrong, not you.
Post # 8
It’s difficult. My first instinct is to return the gift, but I mean, they did show up and you did at least feed them. I think etiquette only requires you return the gift if the wedding in cancelled.
Post # 9
I would return the gift just to avoid drama. I’m sure they are pissed off as well and seeing their cash checked prob will anger them more ..
Post # 10
I would keep the gifts. You are not responsible for their actions, and the gifts were intended to you. I think it will cause more drama to return them.
Post # 11
@samoneal: I would wait a while before cashing it, but I think it would cause more drama to actually return the gift. They are probably embarrased for acting like drunken fools. Props to your dad for keeping his cool in regards to the pool table, my Fiance would have had a conniption fit
Post # 12
Have you spoken to these people since the wedding? Have the apologized? Do you think they will?
I would return the gift in the mail, just as kind of an extra “forget you if you can’t behave” knowing that I’ll likely never speak to them again and the friendship is over.
I don’t think that what you did or did not pay to host them has anything to do with this.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t return the gifts, but I also wouldn’t cash the cheque. They gifted you for attending your wedding, they attended and the wedding took place. Etiquette wise you’re good to keep the gifts. I wouldn’t bother cashing the cheque though, those people may have already put a stop payment on it. The cash I would keep, the cheque I would just rip up and leave it at that.