Rich spouse, poor spouse

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I cannot believe the rich spouse is expecting the working spouse to pony up most of the finances for their shared life.

Someone is a douche.

Post # 3
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

Wait wait wait.  Am I understanding this?  In the event of divorce the poor spouse gets nothing no matter how long they stay married because the rich spouse makes them spend all the poor spouse’s money and has a prenup to protect his/her own money?  And poor spouse has no savings bc the rich spouse is spending it all?  So if they divorced the rich spouse would have every penny of their millions in tact without working because all living expenses were paid for by the hardworking poor spouse and the poor spouse would be a pauper?

Lololol I’d love to see the rich spouse try to argue the “ironclad” prenup should be enforced.  

Post # 4
Member
22 posts
Newbee

You kind of lost me at “The poor spouse works and makes stable low to mid six figures.”

Post # 5
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have trouble believing that the rich spouse actually has all this money if he/she is just hoarding it rather than putting it towards something useful or important.

Post # 6
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

sg8109@gmail.com:  Rich spouse is being a douchebag/cunt.

Marriage is a partnership, and that’s not what I’m seeing here. If there’s a portfolio worth 2mil+, that’s well invested, rich spouse could easily pull out 3K each month to contribute towards joint expenses, and the capital shouldn’t even go down, based on my limited knowledge of this kind of thing.

Also, with the iron clad prenup, until there’s a house involved, poor spouse seems totally fucked in the event of divorce, which is extremely unfair.

The couple should go to counseling together and the poor spouse should go to an independent financial advisor then go with rich spouse to theirs. 

I don’t believe a rich spouse should totally bail out a poor spouse, but this isn’t cool either. There needs to be a balance, and both spouses need to make fair and responsible financial decisions.

Post # 7
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would feel pretty used if I was the poor spouse. I would be miserable deep down. That’s not fair. 

It wouldn’t be a big deal if the prenup wasn’t there And if money was shared. 

Some people in their marriages can manage keeping money 100% separate, others combine their money 100%. Both can work for different couples. This situation sucks because rich spouse is ‘sharing’ poor spouses money but is keeping their money all for themSelf. 

To me, this situation would almost be ok if the wife were the rich spouse and was staying home taking care of the house and family, but then the prenup still gets in the way of making that semi-okay. 

I would be furious as a wife if my husband had a ton of money, stayed home all dayand made me work all day, not letting us use his money. 

Post # 9
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

sg8109@gmail.com:  I’m sorry, I had to lol a little bit at this. But it suuuuure sounds like rich spouse is totally being a douchebag and controlling poor spouse via the purse strings. I think if I was poor spouse, I would definitely not contribute all of my money to necessities unless rich spouse was willing to contribute the same. 

Post # 11
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is so radically different from my reality as well as my idea of marriage.

Post # 12
Member
13019 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If rich spouse has such high standards and expectation, rich spouse need to pony up more cash.  Poor spouse is totally getting f**ed spending all his/her money and having none of their “own” savings in case the shit hits the fan.

Post # 13
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

sg8109@gmail.com:  Did poor spouse get their own lawyer for the drafting and signing of the prenup? That’s the only kind that’s enforceable in my state. Prenups are supposed to protect both parties, and this one sounds horribly one sided.

Post # 14
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Rich spouse is not contributing to daily living expenses or shared savings therefore makes his/her money work for him/herself only and not the marriage. Ergo, douchebag.

Post # 15
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Well, my mother always said things should be split down the middle no matter what.  Thats fair.  If one is ‘rich’ and one is ‘poor’ all the bills should be shared equal.  And the ‘rich’ spose should understand that the ‘poor’ spose needs a savings especially since they get nothing according to this prenup.  The poor spose is getting screwed.

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