- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
A little background on time frame before I ask opinions on what anyone may think this means.
Started Dating Sept 2011
April – 1st time he asked a ring question (what is your ring size anyway, your fingers are so tiny)
Late July – 2nd time he asked a ring question (how does ring sizing work anyway? Asks to try on my ring, puts it on all his fingers).
Late August – I lose a crappy $10 Avon ring – but one that I wear every single day. I mention I’m sad I lost it, but that it wasn’t expensive, just sentimental. I look at a few boardwalk stores to see if I can find something cheap to replace it.
Last Night – Before he is leaving my apartment we have a conversation.
Him: So, I wanted to ask you about what to get you. Me: For what? Him: For our year dating anniversary (3 weeks from now). Me: That’s completely up to you what you want to get me. Him: Since you lost your ring, I wanted to get you a new one. But I am going to need your help with that.
Me: I don’t think that’s such a good idea.
Quiet. Me getting upset that I’ve said this.
Me: Why would you need my help with that?
Mostly quiet. We agree to talk about it at another time. We already have plans to go out to dinner for our anniversary to a restaurant we went to in February for birthday/valentine’s day.
Anyway – I am starting to think I reacted incorrectly to what he said (not to mention very upset that I may have hurt his feelings) but here is where I was coming from. I thought he (as he did say) wanted to get me a ring to replace the ring I lost. Which I wear on my middle finger, and had no major value. I feel, at my age (30) and a year into a relationship – that the only ring I want from a boyfriend is a very different kind of ring. So I was confused and I reacted that way. I very much want an engagement ring. But I wasn’t sure I wanted him to replace this ring that I hope to not be wearing too much longer anyway. (Why wear a crappy ring on your middle finger when you’d have a pretty engagement ring right next to it).
So my question. Was I wrong to jump to the conclusion I did? On a later thought I wondered if he was trying to continue his prying of my ring size (which happened long before this recent losing of my ring) or what I liked or wanted. But then I just figured maybe he really is that clueless and just wanted to get me something he knew I wanted because he knew I lost a ring and the fact that it’s a “ring” doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to me.
What if anything do I do now after having said what I said, ending the conversation, at least for the time being.
Anyway – very confused. Any thoughts appreciated. 🙂