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Uh oh, that's a sticky situation. A 10-year-odl might actually be a little old to be a ring bearer. You might suggest finding another job for him, like manning the gift table or being in charge of the guestbook.
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I'm sure you're frustrated that your mom made the decision to change your plans without consulting you. At least it sounds like she was trying to be helpful and take a decision off your plate to help out.
I like the idea of giving your 10 year old cousin another wedding related task, if you didn't want him to be ringbearer. Can you include both brothers as "co-ringbearers"? If it were me, I'd trust what your aunt said about your younger cousin not wanting to be involved. At 6/7, he's possibly not old enough yet to decide if he wants to be involved in the wedding in an informed way. Kids don't always know what's expected of them, and he might say yes to something without truly understanding what's going to happen on the day of the wedding. If he's shy or uncomfortable, it might make things difficult on the wedding day. I've been to more than one wedding with a shy flowergirl/ringbearer who insisted on not going down the aisle, cried, ran straight to mom, etc. If his mom doesn't think he'll be able to do it, she might be right. Although, if you decided to include both boys, it's possible the older one could help out the younger if there was a problem.
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i need some advice bees!
so i asked my two cousins to stand up in my wedding. one to be flowergirl who is 5 and one to be ring bear who is 6 or 7. my aunt also has two other boys that are a ittle bit older. i picked my two youngest cousins because we wanted to have the youngest kids stand up. we are also having another flowergirl who is also 5. anyway, i have been super busy lately, so my mom called my aunt to fill her in on details on attire and pricing. my aunt then told my mom that she thought the flowergirl dress is too expensive. so then my mom offered to go in half with her. then my aunt told her that my cousin who i asked to be ring bear is too shy to be in the wedding so she said my other cousing who is 10 will stand up. and my mom said yes.
ok..i am really really mad right now. if i wanted my other cousin to be in the wedding, i think i shoud have made that decision when i asked the other two. also, i picked out a suit for my cousin to wear, and then she said she could find one cheaper. but we are doing gray suits, and i found the perfect suit for him. it is really frustrating having people change your plans for your wedding.
so now my question is...how do i unmake him the ring bear. i told my mom she needed to tell my aunt since she is the one who said it was ok. but i don't want to seem like a bridezilla b***h. you know? and i finally just calmed down with all the planning.