Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I just started looking around a little bit at engagement rings, but before we got too far along, I asked him what his thoughts were on budget for the whole operation (engagement + wedding band). He answered that he hadn’t really thought about it that specifically, I guess at least not including the wedding band. I asked because I don’t want to fall in love with something that’s more expensive than he’s comfortable with, and I want to make sure my preferences are in line with his budget so I know how to approach the whole “bang for buck” concept, for want of a better phrase. But he seems a little uncomfortable about answering and I can’t really blame him–I’m just trying to be practical, but it’s sort of an icky thing to have to discuss budget about.
Is there a general guideline that people have found helpful? I’ve heard two months’ salary, which seems insane. I’m just struggling with this a little bit, because I know the sentiment is the most important thing, so part of me feels like a materialistic jerk for not just saying “I’d like something as simple as possible.” But at the same time, I love jewelry (rings especially), and want to have something beautiful that I truly adore.
Anyone have any advice/suggestions? How did you handle this?
Post # 3
@starbuck: You could show him different rings with the same stlye of your liking at different price ranges. Start off low and go up (to how high you think he could afford.) Either way just show him some you like in different price ranges but stick around a prince range you think he could afford and under. About the whole two-three months salary thing, I don’t think that is anything you should go by. That is just something the diamond seller world came up with to get more $$$!
Post # 4
I did NOT want to know how much DH had in mind to spend on my engagement ring and like you did not want to start looking at things that were out of his budget. So I just told him I was butting out completely.
I think showing your BF the type of designs you like is fine, especially if you like a specific shape or style (round, princess, halo, platinum, etc). My DH picked the ring on his own, but we had a few ground rules. I told him logistically I didn’t want a ring that was set too high or had jagged edges, or I would bang it into everything or snag my clothes. I also told him I wanted a ring that wouldn’t require a contoured or custom band because I may just want to wear the band on its own later on. I also told him I’d like an ethical stone. Back before we started dating, we had a conversation about gemstones and that I didn’t see why diamonds were so important. I think he also remembered that I had ogled a Tiffany Legacy ring back when we were friends, long before we dated.
Which is why I was tickled when I got a vintagey sapphire ring set in a halo for my engagement ring. I think if you give him some idea of what you like, I bet he’ll get the best he can in his budget.
Post # 5
I agree that if I were you I’d focus more on style and cut than anything else in communicating what you like. I do think it would be best/easiest if he could just communicate a range of what he’s comfortable with. I would be like “I like solitaires/halos/three-stone rings” or whatever it is you like.
I, however, was very involved in how my ring was chosen – aka we looked at a lot of them together, I tried on several, fell in love with a few, and he went back and picked the right one that was in the price range he was comfortable. That doesn’t work for everyone, but I just had to see them ON to see if I liked them and he wanted to be SURE he was getting me something I’d enjoy wearing. We’re not super traditional.
Post # 6
i agree with the above. Look at the things you like, and have a guideline of what you want. e.g. for me, i wanted a round or ascher stone, and i wanted a delicate band. The rest – was all on him. Sometimes, it’s nice for the guy to have some control too. Someone once told me – you want a little bit you, and a little bit him, after all – he has to look at it too! My Fiance didn’t mind spending a bit than i wanted (i wanted for 1c, he got me a 1.7), because he said – I will be wearing it for the rest of my life, and diamonds appreciate, so therefore, it’s a good investment 🙂
Post # 7
I am assuming you know how much money he makes, and how much he has in the bank, and what his bill situation is. Next time you two are at a mall, drag him by the arm to a jewelry store and just point out a few rings you like-and at different price points, that you think he can afford.
Post # 8
I went by myself, and picked out 5 ring mounts (ie: the base ring without the centre stone) ranging in price from $1100.00 to about $3500.00. He picked the most expensive one 😛