Post # 1
Hello everyone I’m new!
I found this wonderful website while I was looking for advice on a dilemma I have. Sorry it’s a little long.
My fiance proposed a year ago with a beautiful ring. A 1 carat cushion center set with about 1 carat worth of emeralds on the side. When he picked out the setting, the lady wanred him the center stone may not stand out as much because of the wide setting.
I love it. It’s gorgeous. However it bothers me that my center stone is not as wide as the setting. In order for it to stand out more, I think it would have to be at least 1.5 carats, possibly closer to 2. Something big and pricey, basically. Before we got engaged, he asked me if a 1 carat was big enough and I told him of course it was. Now I wish I’d thought about the setting and how it would all fit together. I didn’t want to be greedy and ask for too much.
He bought the center stone from a friend of a friend. No upgrade policy basically. I feel silly telling my fiance this because it would look like i just want a bigger stone than everyone else we know. It’s stupid but I don’t want everyone to think i’m high maintenance and greedy!!! My wedding band is a really pretty eternity band, also a carat. It’s getting up there in diamond weight. I feel like my center stone gets lost, and I’ve already had people think it’s a band until i flip my hand sideways and there’s the cathedral setting sticking up.
Any advice? It’s been bugging me for a long time. And i’ve had it for a year now. I don’t want to ask for a new stone, it seems too early. Maybe our 10 year anniversary? I don’t know. It bothers me. There is a family stone I will be inheriting that is over 2.5 carats. Would it be weird to replace my center stone with a family heirloom stone? It’s a round brilliant, but I just love the uniqueness of the cushion. I would keep my 1 carat cushion for a necklace. Advice? I was hoping this would "go away" but it still is on my mind, obviously. Thanks!
Post # 3
It is not uncommon for women to "upgrade" their ring. I think it is neat that you will be inheriting a diamond that might work for your ring. You can always use the first stone as a necklace or for earings etc.
Another option I originally thought of was to change your side emeralds. Your post makes it sound like they do stick over the band, I am not sure if this is correct or not. It is likely much cheaper to replace emeralds then it is diamonds.
Last but not least you can always change your setting. Use the metal for his wedding band.
As far as in the short run, all you can do is talk to your FI about it and see what you both feel comfortable doing.
Post # 4
Unfortunately, I love my setting too much to change it. I had considered that, though. And I already bought his wedding band.
Sorry to shoot your ideas down
Post # 5
Do you have a photo? It might be easier to come up with suggestions if we could see what it looks like.
Post # 6
I don’t have a picture with me, but this gives you an idea. Imagine diamond emerald cuts instead of the ruby emerald cut, with diamonds going around the band. But, essentially the center stone sits the same way it does in the picture you see.
Post # 7
What about rotating the emeralds so that they go long-ways around the band instead of perpendicular? Otherwise, it looks like your options are to upsize the diamond (and deal with all of your conflicting feelings about that) or to get used to it the way it is (which seems like you’ve sort of been there and tried that).
Only you know what is right for you. I don’t think it is weird to upsize and a lot of people do it… it just depends on whether that is more important than other considerations (like wearing the diamond he proposed with, cost, round heirloom diamond).
Let us know what you decide.
Post # 8
I think that’s pretty! I would shy away from going bigger on the center stone, as that just seems huge to me, but I think you should talk to your FI and see what he thinks… boys learn a surprising amount about diamonds during their whole selection process…
Post # 9
I can see how the side stones take away from your center stone. Could you possibly turn the side stones and lower them in the setting a bit? This may help. I know you love the setting so maybe that’s not the solution.
Talk to your FI and see what he says. It seems that a bigger center stone is the only thing you want to do at this point. See if you can find a jewler to work with to "upgrade" the stone with. Or you can wait to replace it with the family stone.
Also, you could wait the 4 1/2 months till your wedding to see how it looks/feels everyday with the wedding band.
Let us know what you end up doing!
Post # 10
Pretty style! It’s funny you posted this, sometimes I wonder if my center stone is "upstaged" by its setting, too. I have a cushion flanked with baguettes so I can imagine where you are coming from. It gives a nice shine to sparkle ratio
It sounds like you’ve already waited it out, but I like the idea of waiting to see how it all "comes together" with your wedding band. You may be pleasantly surprised. Plus, with a wedding band, your center stone wouldn’t necessarily be wider than the whole set. Maybe lightly break the news to your FI that your family’s stone is so pretty, what will you do with it? You don’t really want another diamond that is flashier than your engagement ring. Or so I’ve been advised. I personally wouldn’t want a right hand ring (or necklace) to upstage my wedding set. See if he’s OK with you setting your own stone in a necklace. To me, you’d still HAVE the stone he proposed with, so there’s no loss in sentimentality. And if people comment about the sizeable new stone, just comment it was a family heirloom and you wanted to incorporate it into your life. Good luck!