Ring dilemna – too pushy??

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think it’s very pushy.  He hasn’t said he’s shopping for a ring yet, has he?  You’re telling him where to buy, what to buy, when to buy… maybe you should let him make some decisions?

Post # 4
Member
3722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

if you can do it CASUALLY and in an informative way, NOT a pushy way – just tell him about the conversation with your grandmother.

” I talked with grandma yesterday and she’s going to Turkey next week. She asked if you’d like her to take a look at diamond rings. If you would, here’s her ocntact information).

That’s it. Give him the info – let HIM make the decision.

Post # 5
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s WAY pushy.  The absolute most I would do would be to mention in passing that she’s going to Turkey in a week, and in a very casual way.  Like “Oh, I need to stop by Grandmother’s before she leaves for Turkey”.  If he’s ready, he’ll talk to her. 

Post # 6
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Tell him that she’s going to Turkey and make sure he has her phone number, leave it at that.

If not this trip, maybe th next one. He may also wish to do things differently from how you’re imagining.

Seems like an odd time to go to Turkey though, with all the protests going on.

Post # 7
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Are your SO and grandmother close? If he knows that the ring will come from her eventually, it doesn’t seem unrealistic that he wouldn’t be offended/put off if he got a call from her asking if he was interested in her maybe making a purchase on this year’s annual trip?

Otherwise, I’d say the safest way to bring it up without being pushy is to just mention that she’s leaving within the week and that if he wants her to make any particular purchases then he should probably give her a call asap! It let’s him know what’s happening and gives him a oppurtunity to take action without forcing him to decide on the spot and announce his decision in front of you (maybe he still wants a semi-surprise element!) Write down your g’ma’s phone number and then go about your merry (hopefully married soon) life.

Post # 9
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think it’s a little pushy.  he will get it when he’s ready.

Post # 12
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@londonbee:  If anything your aunt should give him a call or an email to let him know she’s going.  It may be he’s planning some time in the next couple of months, in which case he’ll be saying “GLAD SHE TOLD ME!”  If not, then your aunt is pushy, not you 😛

He may want it to be a surprise, and if you help him set it up, it won’t be a surprse.  You could also just mention she’s going to Turkey, and say nothing about rings.  I wouldn’t mention rings.  My fiancée never did, and if she had, it would have annoyed the hell out of me.  Especially since I was planning on getting it for 10 months before I could make it happen.

Post # 13
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@londonbee:  Also, keep in mind that he may not want to go through your Grandmother for the ring.  He might have his own plans, for a variety of reasons.  I know he’d get a good deal through her jeweler, but he might want to go through someone local.

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