(Closed) ring disagreement

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ahh that’s tough. Because yes, it is his gift to you, but you are the one wearing it, and so you should like it! Is there a way he would compromise, like a cushion/princess cut center stone and emerald cut diamonds set in the band or in your wedding band? or as side stones?

Post # 4
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm, I would tell him that it is his gift and so his choice… and if he gives you an emerald ring you will love it and you will love him and you will certainly marry him… but you will not be wearing that ring on a regular basis or maybe at all. 

His decision what to get you.  Your decision whether to wear it.  There’s no rule saying married women or even engaged women have to wear their rings – many women don’t.

If he knows this… he might reconsider.

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t see why he wouldn’t consider your feelings on the ring.  Just because it’s a gift doesn’t mean that you don’t have an opinion.

It’s one thing if you two hadn’t discussed it, but since you have, I think he should consider your feelings.  Have you considered an asscher cut?  It’s very similar to an emerald cut, but is more square like the ones you are mentioning in your OP.  That might be a good compromise.  You’re the one who has to wear it for the rest of your life, not him.

Post # 6
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

WHY would he want to give you a gift knowing that you won’t like it? That nuts!

I’m reminded of a certain Simpsons episode where Homer buys Marge a bowling ball with “Homer” written on it. I mean, is he getting this ring for you or for him? 😛

Post # 7
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Wait, why would he give you something that you are not really ga-ga about? When I told my guy I didn’t want a diamond, he was a bit taken aback and tried to argue the point with me. Um, okay, you can buy what you want but remember that I really need to like it…he changed his mind.

Post # 8
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

NO you do not sound like a brat. why is he being so adamant about what cut it is? its YOUR ring. I’d tell him how I really feel before he gets to ring making! Just express that you are SO appreciative and think its special he’s makig your ring but your going to be wearing this forever.. not him!

Post # 9
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Go to a jeweler and pick out a diamond you both like. A gemologist will have tons of diamonds – I’m sure you can find something.

Post # 10
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You don’t sound like a brat.  Your FI on the other hand, sounds a bit controlling and like he wants you to look/appear a certain way.  I hope that isn’t true and he just genuinely likes the cut…

Post # 11
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Has he given you a reason that the emerald cut is so important to him? When my husband and I were discussing diamonds, my thoughts were on cushion, radiant, asscher, and maybe princess. I had not considered an emerald cut until he told me that he always thought of it as the ideal, bc his father had given his mother an emerald cut diamond engagement ring, and he always admired his parents for their strong marriage. He’s not superstitious or anything, he just had his mind set on that being the ideal token to express his commitment. I was completely sold on it that (and after looking at different stones up close, I actually came to prefer the step cuts). And I have to say, I love that he had to work a little harder to find a perfect stone for my beautiful ring! I hope this all works out for you!

Post # 12
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Many women have an idea of the kind of ring they want long before they meet their guy. It sounds like, as a jeweler, your SO has been imagining the kind of ring he’d make for his fiance for a long time. But I do think you should get something that you like… not sure how to go about it though! Maybe get him to draw out the design he’s thinking of? When you see it all together you might change your mind. But I would bring it up again with him – you don’t want to be unhappy with your engagement ring.

Post # 13
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Maybe there is a compromise? I don’t love the look of standard emerald cut diamonds either, but I actually have an Asscher cut – which is a square emerald.  I think it is beautiful.  If you tell him that you find a square emerald more appealing, maybe he will be open to exploring it.  I understand he probably has his reasons for loving the emerald, but if he wants you to wear it consistently he should focus on finding something that will make you both happy.

Post # 15
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just another idea – if the emerald cut is his favorite could he possibly save that cut for a future right hand ring and get you an engagement ring with a stone you love.

I understand his point that it’s his gift to you – but normally when you give someone a gift you want it to be something they absolutely love and have always wanted. He should really take your preferences into consideration or he’s going to be very disappointed if you don’t end up wearing (or liking) the ring he worked so hard to make for you.

I would hope he could compromise and you guys can find some beautiful stone you both love the cut of. He’ll have a lifetime then to buy you jewelry with emerald cut stones in it.

 

Post # 16
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Ha, and the recent blog post by Miss Trail Mix shows that many women take off the ring so frequently they frequently forget to put it back on.  I suspect if you don’t love it… it might happen even more.

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