Post # 1
I was so excited that I found the ring of my dreams. WOOHOO! it held a .50 ct but we discussed changing it to fit a larger stone. We left feeling great cause we went shopping together and I finally found something!! A few days later the SO tells me that no, the ring does not hold anything larger that a .50 ct. I wanted a .60 or a .70.
We have searched and I found one for too much money. I contacted a website that has similar rings but twice they have ignored me.(thank you dazzlingrock). He refuses to get something costume made due to money being a factor.
Yesterday he was a little moopy because he said that I had loved the previous ring but now I don’t, which isn’t true, I do like it, but I want something bigger. My inablity to find a ring is slowing us down, and I think it is frustrating him.
I’m frustrated because it seems that everything comes down to money. Granted, I am pretty tight with my money, and I like that he is budget concious, but common, splurg a little. I think the ring and the wedding band was like 2,300 or so.
Am I being a total snot? Should I just say Okay to the ring I like and settle for the small stone. Upgrading years later is not an option for me. It wouldn’t hold the same meaning.
Post # 3
@VictorianChick: can you help him pay for it? and why is .5 too small vs. .6? i rarely notice a difference visually
Post # 4
there’s really no noticeable difference between .5 and .7
Post # 5
I was going to say that I see no difference in those sizes to justify making a stink over it but PPs already said it.
Post # 6
I don’t think there is a huge difference between a .5 and .6 – I think often the setting is what makes the ring amazing or just okay, so if this is the setting you love, I would just stick with a smaller stone.
What kind of a setting is it?
Post # 7
@subtlebee: I did offer to chip in but he was against that idea. I actually looked at a .68 last night and it was an okay size. I couldnt imagine anything smaller.
Maybe part of it is I’ll be embarssed cause I’m the girl with the smallest ring. I’ve never been married and I’m 35 so while I didn’t want something huge, I wanted something decent sized.
Post # 8
@QueenieB: Its a halo design, but it doesnt sit up really high, which is what I like and the band is small, which I also like.
hmm, maybe I am focusing on the size too much.
Post # 9
@VictorianChick: You shouldn’t even consider how the size if your eing compares to others. That is not what an ering is about. If you would be embarrassed of it that’s a serious issue that runs deeper than stone size that money can’t fix.
Post # 10
If it’s really the ring of your dreams, get it. An extra .10-.20 carat weight wouldn’t make much of a visual impact, anyway.
Have you tried browsing diamonds online? You might be able to get more bang for your buck that way :).
Post # 11
@VictorianChick: hmm well i dont think others will notice a difference honestly. You arent wrong for feeling how you feel but perhaps if size is what matters look into an alternative clear center ston? white saphire or cz or moissanite.
If you want a real diamond go with whatever your SO can afford (or wait for him to save more)
Post # 12
Definitely don’t pressure him to exceed his budget…that is problematic for all sorts of reasons.
If you can find a ring that you and him both like within his budget, that would be ideal. It’s nice that he wanted to include you in the decision making but in the end it is a token of his commitment that he gives to you and your real choice is meant to be whether you accept it and what it stands for or not. It shouldn’t become an ordeal for him…once you guys are arguing about a tenth of a carat it is a sign you have gone in the wrong direction and need to retrace your steps. I’d say apologize for pushing it too far and look for some rings that you may like better that are within his budget… then gently show them to him and ask him for his honest feedback. Remember he is supposed to make this decision at least as much as you! It is a symbol of you both together.
BTW, .5 is a good size for an engagement ring IMO, and .6-.7 is not really discernably bigger.
Post # 13
.7 will face up larger to my eyes… it is at least 5.5mm and maybe even closer to 6mm and .5ct is 5mm. Settings can usually hold a stone a bit bigger though. If it was made for a 5mm stone, unless it is a bezel, it would be able to hold a 5.5mm or 6mm stone.
A lot of people here dislike upgrades, so if you fall into that category, I would not settle. My original e ring was not 100% what I wanted, and I really wish we had not rushed it and just made sure it was right. That would have meant finding a new jeweler, and that would have been ok, in hind site. Now I have spent years making new rings…but really nothing can make the first ring just be right.
Post # 14
It doesn’t hurt to ask a custom jeweler, it’s not always as expensive as you think. My custom ring is the same price (actually a couple hundred less) than the stone & ring was at Jared that we almost purchased. It’s a completely different ring but I definitely feel like I got more bang for my buck so to speak, and I was able to make it look exactly how I wanted it to.
I agree with other posters though, .5 and .6 aren’t going to be different enough to worry about it. .5 and .7 may be though. If it’s what you love & you can’t find anything you love as much, I wouldn’t pass it up for 1/5 of a carat
Post # 15
I’m going to have to disagree with most people on this one….I have a .70 and did in fact try on .50 and .60 and you could totally tell a difference. But my hands are super small so that may have something to do with it maybe.
Post # 16
I do not consider this to be a “drama””there’s only a small difference between .5 and .6. If the ring is your dream ring, get that ring. You can always have a diamond w-band to have more sparkle!