(Closed) Ring envy… and ring etiquette. Please help me.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Be true to your own feelings !!! Dont worry about others-people will be jealous…  Wear it everyday and be proud of it !!  Do NOT downplay anything to make others happy/or feel more comfortable !!

I had a similar situation. My center stone is 2.5 carats, and my total ring weight is 3.5 carats. I dont think it looks overly huge ( I have big hands, longer fingers).

I got some people who made rude comments about the size… including his sister… it’s jealousy !!! I just laughed it off, and said I am very greatful and appreciative. I wear my ring EVERYDAY.

and make sure you get insurance on it !!!

Good Luck !!!

 

Post # 4
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh gosh. I didn’t get what I wanted. I got a 1/5 ctw solitaire. But I think the surprise of the proposal made having a smaller ring than I liked so much more worth it. I think it’s odd that you’re gushing about said ring before the even proposal has taken place, I think that’s probably why your BF has mixed emotions about it. This is just going to put more pressure on him popping the question and that’s probably going to make him even MORE bitter about it. There’s obviously a reason why he hasn’t asked you yet, just keep the ring on the DL and wait for it 🙂 It’ll be that much more special. 

Post # 5
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you are overanalyzing just a little.  It’s nice that you are so thoughtful and considerate of other peoples feelings though, I think that says a lot about your character.

But – – my ring is on the larger side, especially for where we live and where I am free.  It’s definitely not large in general, it’s 1.5 carats, but looks larger on my size 4 finger, LOL. I felt a little awkward showing it off at first, but you have to brush it off. 

No matter where you go, someone is going to have a larger ring, and someone is going to have a smaller ring.  That doesn’t mean they don’t love them just as much as you love theirs.

I think your FI was overanalyzing your FSIL and her ring.  Chances are good she doesn’t care at all.  I think you’re just fine.  Be proud, and when you get it, flaunt that thing 🙂

PS – can’t wait to see pictures.  Pears are my dream cut!

Post # 6
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Do I think it is too big? No. If you love it and he loves it and he can afford it, its just fine!

Re: How to act– happy! Be thrilled to be engaged. Show your ring to anyone who asks and agree with them when they tell you it is beautiful. Don’t shove it in people’s faces, don’t mention the fact that it is big. Don’t gush about it to anyone but your mom or your best friend. But not because it is big… I would say that to anyone with any ring! 

Post # 7
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think that there is nothing wrong with showing friends/family your new ring but be prepared that people are jealous by nature and some will make comments that can come off hurtful.

Post # 8
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I honestly don’t think the ring is “the number one question” people will ask. They’ll be excited you’re engaged, look at the ring and say it’s beautiful, but no one is going to be like “okay, what’s the clairty?” I wouldn’t ever volunteer how big my ring is in public; I wouldn’t want to sound like I’m bragging or superficial.

Maybe he felt like he needed to diffuse the situation since you’re not engaged yet?

Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It sounds like a wonderful ring. Be proud of what you got! I have a 1/4 carat heart shaped solitare that I absolutely love. It’s not at all big (I actually wanted the smaller one) but to me it’s beautiful and fits my hands perfectly and that’s all that matters. To me it’s not the size of the diamond but the effort we went to find it. But like bride2be2013 said, be prepared for jealousy, not many people can afford a diamond as big as yours.

Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with PPs that the main issue may have been that you aren’t yet engaged, rather than the size of the ring. Allow him to propose to you first before you go gushing about it.

Also, I would not mention the carat size unless people specifically ask, and even then it is rude for people to ask so you don’t have to tell time.

I’d stay quiet about it for now, until it’s on your finger. Then show it to those who ask, but don’t go expounding on all the details of the clarity, color, and carats.

Enjoy this time and let him propose on his own time and in his own way.

Post # 11
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

Hey, it’s your ring ~ rock it!!!!  Like the other posters have said, make sure it’s insured.  And, it IS big.  So that said, I’m not sure where you live and what your lifestyle is like.  Just be cautious you don’t draw undo attention to yourself in certain areas.  You don’t want to get mugged or robbed. 

People will always be jealous.  People will always have bigger rings, smaller rings, prettier rings.  Enjoy it ~ it sounds  FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!    

Post # 13
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Doesn’t matter whether your ring is 6ct. or .2 ct., canary-yellow-diamond, platinum, or a plastic ring-pop.

You ALWAYS gush about your ring.

Not for hours on end and not in a way that attaches a pricetag, but at least enough to convey enthusiasm–enthusiasm for the ring also translates to enthusiasm for the guy, the wedding, your relationship. And if other people don’t like a gusher, they’re meanies and you can’t concern yourself with meanies.

Post # 14
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know you are excited, but gushing over your ring before he’s proposed is not cool, at least not at a family event. Maybe to a sister or friend, but that’s about it. I had picked out a few contenders for my engagement ring, with DH making the final decision.

It puts a lot of pressure on your bf. Save the gushing for once you are actually engaged.

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you should wear it proudly, but be conservative about how you talk about it. You don’t want to appear as if you’re showing off, and there will be a lot of jealousy about a big stone. Money does really weird things to people and for some reason engagement rings are a really touchy issue.

I don’t really like how your SO said that you should only wear it on special occasions. It was kind of like pulling the carpet out from underneath you during an exciting moment. And really it’s YOUR ring to wear when you choose, once he gives it to you of course. If anything, he should be encouraging you to wear it all the time to show everyone how good a job he did! I think at this point it’s important that you decide behind closed doors how youa re going to handle comments about the ring and what information you are willing to share with others before this happens again.

Also, it’s probably best if you jus tdon’t talk about the ring until you get it!

Post # 16
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Oh, wait–sorry–I agree with Mrstilly–do wait until the engagement is official.

THEN gush away.

The topic ‘Ring envy… and ring etiquette. Please help me.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors