Post # 1
Yesterday my SO and I went to a few jewelry stores to look at rings. He saw a set that includes engagement ring, my wedding band and his wedding band all together. I like the groom band but I am not a fan of the bridal set. two questions:
Should I tell him the bridal set isn’t my style at all? I don’t want to rain on his parade of picking my ring himself, but I don’t want to dislike my rings for the rest of my life…. (And that makes me sound shallow, I know; hence the dilemma.)
Shouldnt I be the one to buy his wedding ring? He is planning to buy this whole set, but I feel as though I should be paying for the ring that HE wears, right? That’s one of the few things about this whole wedding I was looking forward to: buying him the ring he will wear forever.
Post # 3
Tell him. The wedding rings are usually gifts to each other, but I think most people have been picking them out themselves. FI and I will be picking out our own wedding bands.
If he’s taking you ring shopping, he probably wants to get your opinion to see what you like. Tell him you thought about the bridal set you two saw yesterday some more and decided you don’t like it for x, y, z reasons and there are other ones you like better if you could show him.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@StephanieElise: I would absolutely tell him it’s not your style. You are the one that will have to wear it your entire life, so pick someting you like! That’s the point of e-ring shopping together, so your SO can get an idea of what you do and do not like. I don’t think he would be offended if you nicely tell him that you aren’t a fan of the set, but tell him you like the ring he picked and you would like to keep looking til you find something you have a strong (good) reaction to. I’m not sure who buys the guy’s wedding band, but maybe mention that you would be happy to buy his dream ring and want to keep searching for your own.
Post # 5
@StephanieElise: FI and I discuss about everything. You should not hesitate to tell him. It’s not about ”etiquette”, but in a way his money is your money and vice versa, if he spends money over a ring you don’t like and will have to buy another one later because you don’t like this one and don’t feel like wearing it everyday, it’s still money that you could have both spent on other things. Just be honest, your FI won’t be mad that you tell him now, he probably wants to make you happy and offer you a ring you’ll love, tell him what you like and he’ll know what to pick. 🙂
Post # 6
@StephanieElise: tell him it’s not your style… you’ll be wearing it forever and if you can’t talk about that kind of stuff then you aren’t ready to be married. I feel like the whole engagement and ring process is very out-dated and causes a lot of tension in relationships because it’s so secretive. Just be nice and try not to hurt his feelings when you tell him.
As for the guy’s ring, I find it funny when girls say that they have to buy his, because you’re usually a lot closer to the actual wedding date and then all your money is shared anyway (usually). Traditionally the woman’s e-ring was given as a safety net…. the whole 3 months salary rule is because the thought was if something ever happened to the husband, or if he left her, the woman could sell the ring and still be able to live for a while until she got back on her feet.
My DH and I custom designed all three of our rings together and loved it! I’d highly recommend it to anyone that is really picky about details.
Post # 7
Def speak up!! No doubt about it, someday he will find out you never really liked it, which will be upsetting to him I am sure.
Post # 8
Tell him! Ultimately he wants to get you something that you LOVE! So let him know gently, and maybe show him a picture or two of what you really want.
Post # 9
Tell him now. It’ll only be harder if you wait.
He might be a little bummed for a second, but he will WANT to know what you like
Post # 10
Thank you all so much! We had the conversation about the ring, and you ladies were right; at the end of the day he just wanted me to be happy. Thanks again ‘Bees!