(Closed) Ring freak out (Long)

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I can empathize.  We designed my ring because I thought it would somehow be "better" than buying one from a store (and I didn’t want my husband to pay the Tiffany’s markup).  We worked with a skilled jeweler, but it was still a struggle.  It took forever, and when it came in, it wasn’t really quite right.  It wasn’t as I had imagined, or how it looked in the drawing.  I ultimately decided it didn’t matter and that I didn’t want her to reset/remake the ring. I didn’t want to run my husband through the ringer anymore with all of this stress over a stupid piece of jewelry.  I love my ring, but there have definitely been bumps related to it and it was a really stressful 4 months waiting for it (the first 4 months of our engagement).  My only advice is to decide that the stress isn’t worth it– because it’s not.  I hope you and your FI can find a solution that feels LESS stressful, rather than more! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Awww MS, I’m so sorry all the fun has been taken out of the proposal.  Maybe you could search around and find something at a a different store? I know what its like to have your heart set on something just for it not to happen.  Pretty much the whole planning process hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would.  We got the venue I always wanted (which is a miracle since they just started renovating it last Sept after it being vacant for 25 years!) but there’s no kitchen, tables, chairs or dinnerware at all. So i have to find a caterer who can cook and bring food with them, and either rent dishes or buy them from the dollar store.  And with the economy in the crapper, my dads pay has been cut in half and then some.  So instead of my parents paying for the wedding, FI and I are paying for pretty much everything with the money we had set aside for a house. So now we have to put buying a house on hold, and I’m slowly watching all my hard earned money walk right out of my hands. 

While I don’t blame my parents one bit, I secretly feel cheated.  I’m the first daughter and the first out of 3 to get married, and I have to pay for it myself??? my sister is 7 years younger than me, so I’m sure once she decides to get married my parents will be able to at least give her a majority of the money.  Its really hard not to be mad at the situations that are dealt to us, but I really do feel that everything happens for a reason.  FI is thinking about joining the Coast Guard, so hopefully we would get stationed somewhere nice and at least our housing would be paid for. But then that brings me to the idea of actually leaving my family, which I dont’ think i could do….

Ugh, guess i needed to vent too.  Keep your head up and keep us posted on the ring situation, and Happy Friday!!!

Post # 5
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

MightySapphire, I totally feel your pain. I had imagined this magical, unexpected surprise of a proposal, but unfortunately I had to settle for knowing which weekend (but not which day) I’d be proposed to thanks to being in love with someone who lives a thousand miles away from me, and knowing and trying on the exact ring that I would have prior to the engagement thanks to me being a persnickety, nit-picky jewel-fiend.

I don’t know why, but somehow in my fantasies I had not picked out the precise ring, yet my flawless boyfriend would somehow pick out the perfect ring based on my subtle hints and surprise me with a proposal worthy of Mr. Darcy, or perhaps Rhett Butler.

My reasonable, logical, knows-me-better-than-I’d-like-to-think FI demanded that I pick the ring out because "I’m not exchanging your ring, and you know we’ll have to if I pick it out." Sigh. He’s a brave man to want to marry me. All that to say that regardless of the reality of my proposal, it was still wonderful, I’m going to marry my best friend, and we’re going to be much happier than any fictional characters would be!

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