(Closed) Ring Guilt

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
3227 posts
Sugar bee

@doglover123:  Did you help him pick the ring? Whether he picked it on his own or not you can just openly let him know he shouldn’t spend that much money. A relationship is based on trust and communication so you should be able to talk about these things and maybe come to some sort of an agreement. 

Post # 4
152 posts
Blushing bee

I think if you just tell him that you would like him to get a moissanite to save for grad school he should understand and would be perfectly fine with your choice. Later in life if you would like to replace your stone with a diamond then I’m sure you could. 

You shouldn’t feel guilty though, he bought the ring because he loves you and thinks you are worth every penny. 🙂

Post # 5
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I don’t personally feel guilty about my ring, and it is substantial. But its what my fiance wanted to get me and he wouldnt have chosen it if it was not what he wanted to do.

For your situation, you have to do what is right for you. If you can’t afford it or if your fiance is going to have to take out way more loans for school than he previously would be, and you two don’t feel comfortable with that, then perhaps you should reavaluate.

Post # 6
144 posts
Blushing bee

@Bram:  I agree.  Ask him to return whatever you can and replace whatever you can with moissy and save the money.  If he is anything like boyfriend he will love you even more for respecting his wallet as well as his heart!!!

Post # 7
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I was awestruck when my Fiance proposed because the ring was just SO much larger and more perfect than I hoped for. I felt really guilty about it costing so much too, especially considering that he is saving up for things for himself…so I told him that it cost too much money and we should return it.


He wouldn’t let me. He said that he picked it out and he chose to give it to me… and that I shouldn’t worry about how much it’s worth. He said that if it’s exactly what I want (it is.) and I will wear it every day (I will.) then it was 100% worth it to him. Maybe your Fiance is like mine?

Post # 10
1360 posts
Bumble bee

I’d say, if it’s what he got for you and wanted to get, and you love it, keep it! If the only factor here is money, and I’m assuming it is, well he obviously doesn’t mind too much about paying more for the diamond so I’d be like “Alright then awesome!” and wear that baby EVERYWHERE.

That being said, my Fiance could afford a diamond and I chose Moissy because of the price difference (and ethics partially), but I chose this before he’d bought a ring. If he had gotten diamond I wouldn’t have swapped it, probably, (well actually maybe I would’ve but that’s because I love my Moissy so much..lol).

Post # 11
3227 posts
Sugar bee

@doglover123:  I see. Well just see how you like it once you get it… and really make sure you get what you want.. You might regret not getting a diamond down the line or vice versa. Would you consider passing the ring onto your children and would you be okay with passing down a moissanite? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that but it’s just something to keep in mind. 

Post # 12
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, I feel guilty…but then again he made the decision of the ring not me (it was custom made)…He did ask me what did i like and I told him, but at the end he chose the ring… The ring that I liked was more like 3,000- 5,000… when i saw what he gave me I didn’t ask the price but he accidently slip and told me in one of our convos and my mouth dropped…. I’m pretty much was wearing a brand new car or a down payment of a house. He and known each other for 7 years so I feel like he gave it to me with all his pride and joy. He is not a big spender and he makes very wise decision about his money so I know if he couldn’t afford it he wouldn’t have bought me such a expensive ring. So yes, i feel he spent so much… because he still needs to get my wedding band and that is going to cost another chunk because it will have to be custom made as well so it can go with ring.

Post # 13
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@doglover123:  XD I prefer moissanite myself and always thought if I wanted a diamond I’d just get a CZ because they are so alike. 

Realistically of course none of the three are “pretty much” the same. They are all different and all distinct. Diamonds suffer from special snowflake syndrome as far as I can tell, there’s this ridiculous assumption that every colourless stone wishes it was a diamond. Lol. I wonder if some jewelers thing topaz wishes it was aquamarine and aquamarine wishes it was sapphire XD 

Post # 14
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i would get Asha or Moissanite.

Do you have pictures?

as long as he is ok with it- dont fight over it – then why not save some $$$?

Post # 15
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have no ring guilt and it was a bit pricey me thinks. I know Fiance saved for it and stayed within his budget so I have no reason to feel guilty.

Post # 16
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

i know how you feel. we found a ring ($2200) that i fell in love with that was way out of our budget ($1500) but incorporated everything we both wanted the ring to be. I also loved a moissanite wedding that was just inside our budget, but it was a set so it would have been more economical in the long run. he told me he was talking his mom shopping last weekend and i am pretty sure that he purchase the more expensive ring becuase it was what i loved (blue diamonds). i feel guilty but I know that in the long run it is an investment and he bought it because i loved it. if you really want to switch to a moissanite center definitely talk to him. He purchased the ring because you are worth every penny but you should also get EXACTLY what you want, not just something that looks similar. if the moissanite is what you want then definitely tell him and tell him soon. If the diamond is what you want and you are just worried about price share your concerns with him but don’t return the diamond just yet. Money can be pulled from other places (ie wedding funds, weding bands, vacation funds). Being a grad student myself i know what its like to scrimp to save money for all the things you want and if he really wanted to get you the ring he got i am sure he thought about where the money would have to come from.

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