Ring Guilt, Anyone?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m not engaged yet, but I have purposely been only looking at diamonds/gemstones in my SO’s budget because I do not want ring guilt! You know the love and marriage is what is important, but obviously you have to love your ring.

Consider this, if you traded the diamond would you miss it or think about it while looking at a smaller diamond? If you know you would regret the trade I’d say keep your diamond. Or if you think looking at the large stone all the time will make you feel bad think maybe about a downgrade.

can we see a picture?

Post # 4
Member
2486 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

First off, Congrats!! Ring shopping is very exciting! If your BF wasnt comfortable spending the money I’m sure he wouldn’t have. I think you should keep it. You’ve obviously hooked a good man who wants only the best for you. I’m with prettyinpink11, can we see a picture?

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee

@shortie1848:  Ew, tricky. Will your BF be happy if he feels you are settling for a ring you don’t like quite as much? Would he consider the future upgrade, or does he want this to be it? It may be worth the extra cost to him to feel that he is giving you this amazing gift.

I told my soon-to-be FI that I don’t care how much is spent on a dress, that I’d be happy with something affordable since I would feel guilty if we spent a significant amount. To my surprise, this was a huge problem for him. He doesn’t want to overspend, but he also doesn’t mind spending extra in areas that are symbolic to him, such as the ring or the dress. Talk to your BF about how torn you feel. Maybe his thoughts on the meaning of the ring will surprise you…

Post # 7
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mr. Duckerson’s budget was $500. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but well I’m so rough on my hands and would be very scared to ruin it. He wanted to go higher, but I was very hard headed. Ended up going over the budget, by a $150 (: Ended up with a really nice 18k white gold taccori setting with .53 center stone .80 tcw. I didn’t regret it lol

Post # 8
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

umm i had ring guilt for about 1 minute, and after that, i was in love with my diamond like i birthed it. there is nothing else i would have on my finger, and my guilt disappeared immediately when i fell so hard for it. its too perfect for me to make me feel any guilt.

Post # 9
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I’m still waiting but I wouldn’t feel any ring guilt because I’d choose something within his ability and because even though it’s a major purchase, I’m also promising to love him forever and to have & raise his babies, so…I think it’s a fair trade. 😛

Post # 11
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - The Crystal Ballroom at The Rice Hotel

@shortie1848:  Maybe talk with your FI? I don’t think he will be offended or hurt as you are only considering y’alls future as two people and not just him and whatwver his salary is. 

I have felt ring regret and don’t even have it yet! But my SO worked 2 jobs to get exactly what I wanted, he said that’s all he wanted is to make me happy. Despite my efforts to get him to use my grandmother’s ring he has bought my dream ring. Why? Because he loves me and wants the best for me. Remember: Your ring is a token of your man’s love and affection for you, it is his symbol of intentions, commitment, and value of your love and attention. 

That’s a lot because you mean a lot. So IMO: unless you felt he was really under pressure to buy a ring outside of his means, simply bask in the dysplay of his love for you. Don’t feel bad, feel loved. And remember to show you commitment and affection to him in return, show him he choose wisely 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@iDreamofJune:  Well said!

 

@shortie1848:  I think you’ll feel better about it if you talk to him and get him to assure you that YES, it’s ok that you will have this gorgeous piece of jewellery. I know it’s hard to get used to wearing something so valuable. It would be different if you had demanded a ring that cost AT LEAST (x), but that doesn’t sound like the case at all! Love the ring, enjoy the ring, and return this generous gesture in other ways throughout your life together.

Post # 13
Member
3112 posts
Sugar bee

@prettyinpink11:  How much was it?  Moissy was my perfect solution for ring guilt!  $800 isn’t cheap, but it’s better than the $15,000 my ring would have cost as a diamond.

Post # 14
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@shortie1848: We could have put the money we spent on my ring to more pragmatic and practical uses, but we splurged on a ring because we’re still young and early in our careers. The amount we spent is a lot to us now, but in two years, it’ll be less than my total monthly income. In 25 years, I’ll still love my ring and the $10k we spent on it won’t be a blip on my radar.

 

Post # 15
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - The Crystal Ballroom at The Rice Hotel

@Fizzy8:  Thanks! 

 

 

@ceebree:  This was the reason my SO and I choose Moissanite too. My $1,500 moissy would have been over $7,000 from Blue Nile. SO and I are just college students, we have the choice to upgade if we so choose later in life when money isn’t an issue.

Post # 16
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@shortie1848:  no. An engagment/wedding ring is something beautiful you will wear likely every day forever unlike other things that are short term.  Believe it’s vey ok to splurge in this area.

Enjoy your beautiful ring!

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