(Closed) Ring I liked got purchased :(

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it would be completely appropriate to sit down and talk to him about how you feel AND show him rings that you’re interested in.  Is it possible that the cost of the ring is the only thing holding him back?  Maybe he truly doesn’t think you would like anything less and since he can’t afford more, he just chooses to wait.  I would show him the ring and say, “I’m really not pressuring you, I love you and am in it for the long haul, but I really love something like this” and show him. 

Also, if that ring is absolutely the one you love and want to have, you could easily send a message to the seller and they more than likely could re-create it (if it was handmade).

Post # 4
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Was it vintage or handmade? If it was handmade, I’m positive the seller would be able to make it again for you. Even if not, I’d save the image and troll around Etsy until you find someone that has similar work and ask them to recreate it for you. We did that for my engagement ring and it turned out wonderfully.

Post # 5
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I didn’t get a chance to read your whole post but I just want to tell you that for me, after we looked at rings he bought it right away. I didn’t think he would and had gone back to show someone the ring. I thought someone else loved it as much as me and that’s why it was gone. I just hope that’s what happened to you. 

Post # 8
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Isilme: I was going to suggest maybe showing him a pic of the ring in the hopes that he could have one custom made just like it, but then you posted the bit about him not wanting help with the ring. I feel you on that one, because my BF has said the same thing to me. I’d love to give him some tips (like “take a look at the heirloom tacori line because I love that style”, or “no three stone rings”), but because he’s said that he wants it to be a surprise I hesitate. 

Maybe you could do something like build a little folder of inspiration rings and then tell him: “Honey, this is not meant to pressure you, but if you’re ever looking for inspiration on what kind of jewelry styles I like I’ve built a little reference guide.” I’ve thought about it and despite the whole “I want it to be a surprise” thing it must be really daunting to go out out and spend a fair amount of money on something the guy is not even positive his girl will like. Maybe he’ll appreciate a few pointers if it’s not done in a pressuring way?

Post # 10
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Isilme: LOL! That’s a hilarious story. 😀

Maybe just try to take it a few steps at a time. The easiest is the first step: compiling a “wish” list. Then if you can’t muster up the courage to talk about it, draft an email. Let it sit in your inbox a few days, and then in a moment of courage press the send button? It might be easier on both you and him to not even actually give him the list. Just tell him you’ve compiled it and if he’s ever looking for inspiration for jewelry he can look in X folder on your computer. That way he’s not being told what to do, but help is there if he needs it. 

Post # 11
Member
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure the seller could make it again if you requested it. Then you would know it was truly yours, made for you and everything!

Did you save a picture of it? Maybe someday if you are talking about it again you can ask if he would like to see what you really love and show him where you keep the picture. My SO asked me to go window shop on my own and show him pictures of what I like best to give him ideas…and it took me a month after he asked to get the courage to GO LOOK and then another month after that to show him what I found. It’s hard to be assertive about this topic because you never know if they will take it as ‘oh she is being a pushy nut’ or not!

Post # 13
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

I am sorry to hear that

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