Post # 1
Awhile ago, my grandmother offered to let me have her wedding band/engagment ring when the time came that I got engaged. She got married in 1952, and I’m sure the ring is LOVELY. I have two hesitations about doing this.
1. I kind of want a lovely ring of my own
2. 35 years after she got married, she and my grandfather got divorced, I don’t know if I was to wear a ring that will constently remind me of their divorce/divorce in general.
What do Y’all Bee’s think?
Post # 3
@roxiehart: Would she let you reset the stone? Then it feels like a new ring. And can your SO afford another ring? I would be more willing to use an heirloom if the only new ring we could afford would be of lower quality. How does your SO feel about the ring?
Post # 4
Thats very sweet of her to offer, however if it was me, i would have to pass… i’m not comfortable wearing anything which came from a broken marriage.
Post # 5
You can wear your grandma’s ring as a right-hand ring. I’m kind of superstitious so I would worry of wearing a ring that has a history of divorce as my wedding band (maybe just me).
Post # 6
See if she would let you redesign her ring into something that is more your choice. But you should really do whatever you feel is right because it is your ring in the end and something you will have to wear forever. You also have to think about your FI in the future he might want to give you something he chose or his heirloom from his grandmother…lots to think about ….you will make the right choice in the end if you go with your heart
Post # 7
I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with wearing a diamond from a broken marriage – most diamonds you buy were someone else’s before, anyway! We bought mine Nov 2011, and the paperwork says it has been around since 2008, so who knows what happened to it before she became mine! I would talk to your future FI about what he/you can afford and what you want. After you decide that… THEn talk to your grandma about resetting it if that’s what you want!
Post # 8
I think taking the stone from it would be great!! Its a family piece and I think it would be special to take the stone from it, and reset it into something beautiful, something you want and love and something that you and your FI can do together or something your Fi can take and design on his own, you could even add more stones of keep it as a solitare…. SO many options, I think that would be great and special and would even save some $ 🙂
Post # 9
@Fallicious1012: I totally agree, we did the samething!!! You also know you arent getting a “blood diamond”
Post # 10
I also love anything vintage, and knowing my grandmother’s taste, it will already be in a lovely setting. Based on current income, any ring we could afford on our own would be under 1,000$, and I’m sure my grandmother’s is valued at a couple thousand or more as it is atleast 3/4 if not a full caret.
Post # 11
@roxiehart: I would just reset the stone then!
Post # 12
When my husband proposed 12 years ago, our options were either his mother’s 1 carat solitaire in a tiffany setting or a vintage ring that was his mother’s aunt’s. I chose the vintage b/c they (aunt and her husband) had a good marriage (or so i was told). His mother was in the middle of a divorce from DH’s father when he died. I loved that vintage ring for years but I can honestly tell you, I always wanted a solitaire. For our 10th anniversary, DH surprised me with a .7 solitaire in a Tiffany setting. I love it.
Now…after being married over 10 years, I can tell you…the ring I wore is just a beautiful ring and a symbol that I am married. It didn’t make my marriage better or worse. Looking back, I would have taken the solitaire that was my mother-in-law’s since it was (and still is) my dream. (I would have taken it years after if she hadn’t had lost it). So…from someone who was in a similar situation, I would say to take it if you like it and forget that they got divorced. But…that’s just my own opinion. You have to do what feels right for you… 🙂 Best of luck!
Post # 13
Even a “new” stone usually is not brand new. People trade in stones, sell them back, and so on.
I don’t believe a stone carries karma or can affect your marriage. Your marriage is about what you two bring to it, not what a stone does! The ring is just a symbol, not the substance.
I would probably take your grandmas stone if it was a beautiful stone as I love vintage stones, and maybe reset it if the setting was not my style.
But, I am not you! If you feel uncomfortable with it than decline or see if she is willing to provide it to you as a right hand ring.
Post # 14
If she is offering the ring to you then, surely she wouldn’t expect you to keep the same setting? If I was to give my grandchild my ring (when I’m a gran – lol) I wouldn’t expect her to keep the setting, but to rather make something that is more “her” and acceptable for her to wear for the rest of her life.
Find out from her before you accept whether she has a sentimental attachment to the ring, if she doesn’t, then you make it your own and make your marriage your own too. What happened to other people is exactly that, it’s stuff that happened to them and that’s not to say it will happen to you.
You will make the choice that’s right for you, don’t think on it too much, do what your heart is feels is right.