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Ring shopping - Or a surprise?

posted 1 year ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did/will you ring shop with your SO?
    Yes, of course! : (61 votes)
    43 %
    No, I want to be surprised (minus a few hints here & there), : (46 votes)
    33 %
    Yes, but I hadn't planned on it! : (20 votes)
    14 %
    Other (will explain below). : (14 votes)
    10 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    PopRox    September 17, 2011  

    SO and I had a fabulous day goofing off yesterday at the mall and surrounding areas. While we were walking around am upscale outdoor shopping center, we happened upon a jewelry store. He asked if I wanted to go in, so I was happy to oblige! However, I was really shocked at the rings I ended up liking. I was also really surprised at myself, as I have said to myself all along that I wanted it to be a total surprise and was very against going ring shopping with him!

    I think I left him with a few options, so I'll still be surprised. Now I'm just excited for the rest of it to unfold - oh I'm going to be so much more antsy with the waiting now!

    Share with us about your ring shopping excursions... and whether your thoughts about your "ideal" ring changed or stayed the same!

     
    2.
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    5,369 posts
    Bee Keeper
    pinkshoes    July 2011   MA

    I didn't shop with him and never tried on any e-rings.  But I do have a lot of other rings and had a pretty good idea of the style I liked.  I just dropped "hints" (aka sending him a bunch of links) and pointed out what I liked or disliked about each one.  The rest was all up to him.

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    AudzinLuv    September 2012   Augusta, GA

    My guy and I have looked in a couple mall jewelry stores, and I tried on several styles at Helzberg Diamonds last Christmas.  The saleslady was very pushy and tried to make him apply for a credit card, but I said no way!  The rings in our budget ($1,000) were very tiny and didn't impress me much, and I kept thinking about the extreme mark-up involved.

    He's been saving money all year long, putting a little here and there, and I've told him to stay clear of any mall chains.  I've also sent him about 5 different links to rings I adore, so I have no idea what it's going to look like.  I'm glad to still have a surprise but to still know that my preferences will be taken into consideration.  Can't wait!!!

     
    4.
    2,566 posts
    Sugar bee
    Statutory Grape    March 2014  

    I didn't try on any rings, but we agreed on a basic style (princess cut) and a metal (white gold). From there, we worked on narrowing down some stones and eventually decided on a rhodolite garnet.

     
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    UpstateCait    October 7, 2011   Upstate, NY

    We shared the entire experience together and I wouldn't have changed a thing. I respect those who's FI's picked out their rings but I got to decide what ring I will wear for the rest of my life. The proposal was a surprise and I liked that, but being involved in the experience was special for both of us. Not to mention, the rings that he was picking out and the rings that I liked were nothing alike. Of course I would have been ecstatic with whatever he would have chosen but getting to choose it myself made it extra special for me. Also, ring shopping was by far the most fun that I have ever had shopping in my whole life. 

    After getting engaged some of my friends and family gave us crap for me picking out the ring. I was kind of annoyed by this since theres no rule that says the guy has to choose the ring. To defend myself, I asked them if they could have chosen the ring, if they would have picked the ring their (now) husbands chose and 2/3 of them said probably not (of course they would never tell their husbands that). 

    I guess it comes down to how much involvement you really want to have and I wanted to be involved in every aspect of our wedding. 

     

     
    6.
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    Busy bee
    PopRox    September 17, 2011  

    @Statutory Grape: Ooh I love garnets, they are so rich in color! I had pretty much told him, prior to this that yellow gold is not complimentary to my skin tone nor does it match any of my jewelry - so that was out. There is a cut I'm really not fond of too, which I shared with him - and it's not a "popular" cut, but I don't want to offend anyone that totally digs that style. So I armed him with what not to do. I didn't realize how opinionated I could be until I got in the store though!

    But of course, it is the moment, the decision to share a life together that is most important!

     

    @AudzinLuv:  The wait can be such beautiful torture sometimes, right? ;)

     
    7.
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    Helper bee
    MissMeg    March 19, 2011   South Carolina

    I always thought we'd go ring shopping (I didn't think he'd want to pick it out on his own). But he totally surprised me. I had shown him a picture of what I wanted so he knew the basics, then he got my bestfriend to ok the ring before the bought it.

     
    8.
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    Helper bee
    enoh102    April 2, 2011   Live in Alexandria, VA Wedding in Spring Lake, NJ

    FI actually proposed in a jewlery store.  I know it doesn't sound very romantic but I was completely shocked!   We were out shopping and had stopped in a jewlery store, I was looking for a gift for someone else when FI called me over to the other side of the store saying "How about we get one of these?"  I looked at him and said those are e-rings thinking he was joking around until he asked the sales women to see the ring I had always dreamed of.  It was so sweet and I was completed taken of guard.  So I got to help pick out my ring, was shocked and got to have the ring slipped on my finger when I said yes.

     
    9.
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    Blushing bee
    SandraCarol    September 3, 2011  

    FI took me ring shopping as a surprise, but he just wanted a general idea of what kind of style to get. He bought me a blue flower ring while we were looking at engagement rings (so that will be my "something blue"!). I do not think my ring preference changed much after trying them on. I did not think I would like the soltaire rings and I was right. I loved the three stone rings!

    When he went to buy the actual e-ring, he took my sister with him. It is beautiful and I like that my MOH was there with him :) I was also completely suprised when he opened the box, it took me a couple seconds to respond!

     

     
    10.
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    Busy bee
    PopRox    September 17, 2011  

    @enoh102: great story! I can't even imagine what a surprise that was for you!

     @SandraCarol: I think it is sweet he asked your sister. I know my SO would ask my mom if possible, but she's in a totally different state so she wouldn't be able to give it the in person thumbs up.

     
    11.
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    5,984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    We really wanted it to be a surprise, and he wanted to do it along but was nervous that he'd pick something I hated.  I told him I'd give him 10 minutes in a jewelery store to point out a few things that I liked/disliked, but he made the ultimate choice.

     
    12.
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    920 posts
    Busy bee
    bride2bejc    June 25, 2011   Live in Jersey City, Wedding was in NYC

    I hadn't planned on it, but it happened one random Sunday afternoon while strolling at the mall.  We were walking by a store and he asked me if I wanted to try some on.  Like you, I obliged! I also thought I knew what I wanted but after trying on a simple round solitaire, it didn't suit my hands (I have long thin fingers) that well.  I knew I wanted a little something more, so the jeweler showed us a bunch of rings and of course I fell in love with a Tacori ring. 

    I explained to my fi that I NEVER expected him to actuallly get it for me, but to use it as a guide for what I liked and looked good on me.  Needless to say, he bought me the Tacori and of course I love it.  He said he couldn't imagine getting me something else after he saw how my face lit up when I put on that ring =). 

    We looked at this ring back in January of this year and he didn't propose until May, so I was starting to think he had changed his mind about proposing lol I was still VERY surprised when he finallyyyy asked me!

    I wanted to add that a friend of mine was convinced that she wanted a 3 diamond princess cut and when she got it for her engagement she was less than thrilled (of crouse her Fi doesn't know this).  It doesn't suit her hand nicely =(

     
    13.
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    Busy bee
    PopRox    September 17, 2011  

    @bride2bejc: so funny, as the rings I tried on an fell in love with were Tacori! While I don't expect the exact ring, it is nice to know he has a solid idea of my tastes. Hopefully I won't be waiting too much longer! He did laugh at me about how I lit up when I had some of the rings on.

    Sorry to hear that about your friend, but I'm sure she's excited about the meaning behind the ring and that she's found her partner in life :) It just goes to show, that sometimes we don't know ourselves (or our fingers) as much as we'd like to think!

     
    14.
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    258 posts
    Helper bee
    bryanneb61    May 5, 2012   Columbus, Ohio

    I've been ring shopping, but only on my own, or with my mom.

    My FH hasn't brought it up, or suggested we go in anyhwere...and I don't want to be the one who does it.  If course, if he were to ever suggest we go looking together, I'd be all about it.

    I respect him wanting to choose, and have it be a surprise, but I wanted my mom to know what I like so that she can help him if he needs it.

     
    15.
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    2,896 posts
    Sugar bee
    beekiss2      

    I picked out a stand-in ring until we get married and only wear wedding bands.

     
    16.
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    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    buttontoes    September 1, 2012   Northern MI

    FI took me ring shopping around our 1 yr anniversary.  Then he made me wait 3.5 years for the proposal.  It was the same ring I had picked out on the first ring shopping trip.

     
    17.
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    17 posts
    Newbee
    rhinosgirl    March 16, 2010  

    We shopped together and he bought the ring I loved right then and there!  We knew we were getting engaged and it's something that I'm going to wear forever... so I'm so glad I could help pick it out.

     
    18.
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    PrettySedity      

    i really really loved ring shopping with my bf. we have gone twice and i think that it was necessary. im very picky and want something i truly adore when it comes to the ring i will be wearing the rest of my life or at least for years to come. my bf does not hv an eye for those things so he liked having me there. he has no clue when it comes to the different stones, settings, and plattings. so he honeslty would have gotten screwed if he didnt end up with a good salesperson had he gone alone. i have one style that i love but feel in love with a totally different ring with a custom look. 

     
    19.
    Member
    30 posts
    Newbee
    Sunflower16    April 30, 2011   Kentucky

    We only ring shopped twice together, the trips being about six months apart.  He wanted a general idea of what I liked, and I wanted to see his ideas as well, but ultimately the decision was his to make.  And boy did he do a good job :)

     
    20.
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    Helper bee
    RenoRose    December 31, 2016   Reno

    I'm super picky, I NEED to have a say what I'm going to have on my finger the rest of my life. But I will probably give him a few options for him to pick from.

     
    21.
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    414 posts
    Helper bee
    Ambellina13    October 7, 2012   Manhattan, NY

    We decided to go shopping together to find something that I liked, but I never expected to be there when he bought it.  We were on vacation and decided to peek in some jewelry stores to see if there was anything unusual, and I wound up falling in love with a ring!  We bought it there together because obviously, he couldn't go back to buy it alone.  It has also made the ring more special, because not only will it remind me of my SO, it will remind me of the special weekend we had away :)

     
    22.
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    8,387 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  

    I didnt shop with him and had no idea that he was even ring shopping! I actually had no idea people went ring shopping together until I came on weddingbee!

     
    23.
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    5,678 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    I chose Other: I would have happily helped choose my own ring, but FI was dead-set on it being a surprise.

    I really wanted a solitaire with a pave band, and ended up with a three stone with a plain band.  I love my ring though!

     
    24.
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    1,735 posts
    Bumble bee
    picturemeurs    February 2012  

    I chose No ( the second one) but in reality I think it was other, he wouldn't let me go even if I wanted. But I guess I'm happy it being a total surprise.

     
    25.
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    1,011 posts
    Bumble bee
    R.Elliott    September 24, 2011   Dallas, TX

    We did a TON of shopping together. We shopped at the big chain stores, met with an independent jeweler, tried the medium-sized mall stores, and the small family owned store. We also attended a diamond and jewelry expo at a big convention center downtown. It was all a total blast. We did it all over the course of about 6 months, and took our time making the decision.

    We ended up going with the family owned local store that had extremely high quality products and personalized service. I found a setting there that I absolutely loved, and then we also found a diamond there that had the specs I wanted at a reasonable price.

    After that, I was cut-off from the details. The rest was a surprise - seeing the ring all put together for the first time when he proposed was a moment I'll never forget. I also didn't know where/when/how it was going to happen.

    So, long story short, I wound up with the ring of my dreams that we picked out together, but ended up totally shocked and surprised when the actual proposal happened.

     

     

     
    26.
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    Helper bee
    yellowlinedpage      

    I went by myself/with my sister (I have a post about it) just to get an idea of what I want. I made it clear that when he goes to get the ring he should ask my sister to go, too, because she knows what I want. I hope he does that.  The other day we had a heated discussion about waiting and he, kind of out of frustration, said that we could go ring shopping together if that would make me feel better about waiting but I don't know how serious he was.

     
    27.
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    474 posts
    Helper bee
    maggierose    May 26, 2012  

    @Lindsay12.31.2010: exact same situation here!

    I picked "Other" because I wanted to go ring shopping together and my BF was set on it being a surprise. However, I have sent him links of what I like and even gotten him to look online with me a little bit...and I dragged him kicking & screaming basically into a jewelry store at the mall under the guise of "buying a ring for myself" ha ha and made him watch while I tried on a couple.....

    I personally am a little afraid...BF has good tastes and I am sure he would pick me out something lovely....but at the same time...what if he doesn't!? And I think it's ugly and then I have to wear it forever? That is my worst fear and why I wish I could have had a little more input in it.

    Yesterday we were at a shopping center and I was paying for some stuff in another store and I came out and he was looking in the window of a jewelry store.....I caught him! I went over & he asked what I liked and to be honest the selection was horrible but I pointed out a few OK ones..and he told me the ones he had been thinking were cute......none of which I really liked..so I was a little worried.  :-/ i shouldn't care I guess...it is his gift to me...but still! I have to wear it forever, that is a long time, lol.

     
    28.
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    Busy
    Beekeeper
    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Dh and I went to Tiffany's to try on rings! It was a fabulous experience and I recommend it to everyone!!! He then ordered my diamond from blue nile, saving more than 60% for the same quality. My only regret though is not going to a different store with more styles since Tiffany only has really basic looks. I didn't even know about all the halo options (other than the big bulky Tiffany Legacy) which I may have gone with if I had seen.

     
    29.
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    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    osprey    September 10, 2011   Maryland

    We went ring shopping after he proposed. He had just bought a cheap ring to give me during the proposal (which was a surprise), and a few days later we went shopping together for my real ring. He was afraid he'd pick out something that I wouldn't like.

     
    30.
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    761 posts
    Busy bee
    ADBK2011    October 1, 2011   Atlanta

    We have gone ring shopping a couple of times. I have even picked out a specific ring. So all he has to do is go buy it. It is just a matter of when he will do it.

     
    31.
    23 posts
    Newbee
    MhmKat    June 9, 2012  

    We started looking at rings this summer. I'm very picky and indecisive which he knows so he was excited for me to look at rings with him to give me an idea. At first he just wanted me to give him hints but it turns out we have completely different tastes in rings so that didn't work. We do want some element of surprise though so after we pick everything out, he will put it all together and not tell me exactly when he is buying it or when he gets it. We have two or three options we're looking at now so by the end of if all it will be a bit of a surprise. We really like the idea of building it together so we both love it and it has special meaning to us. 

     
    32.
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    4,838 posts
    Honey bee
    deathbydesign    February 18, 2012   Lives in Ontario, married in Quebec

    We picked the ring together. We picked a style we both love. The shopping experience was some of the most fun he and I ever had together! Yes, I know what my ring is going to look like (although I will not get to see the stone in the setting we chose until he proposes!) but I still have no idea exactly when or how he will pop the question :) for me, the ring is really a small part of what makes the proposal special.

     
    33.
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    Busy bee
    Isilme       Texas

    Part of me would like to go together, to have some input into it, but he's pretty set against the idea, so I've made a little "wish list" of things that strike me online - I'd like him to know I'd prefer my birthstone to a diamond to save money, but don't have the nerve to show him my list - makes me feel like I'm being pushy or greedy (even though I'm a norotious dea-finder, I don't know that he'd realize that unless he goes to a big chain and gets an expensive sales pitch).

    Meh - been told I've probably got another 2 years to wait anyway :(

     
    34.
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    We were sitting on the couch one night and the then bf, turned his computer towards me and said "do you like this one"( brings up a picutre) "or this one" and brings up another picture and says "more" He showed me probably 20 links that he had on his computer asking me this one more or this one more for a few minutes and then that was it. I was surprised and excited by the behavior. So he had an idea of what I liked and then he proposed about 2 months later. So we didn't go into jewelery stores but virtual ring shopping if you will. I ended up with something totally different though than what I had selected during that virtual tour, but it's all good.

     
    34.
    Member
    7,533 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    We were sitting on the couch one night and the then bf, turned his computer towards me and said "do you like this one"( brings up a picutre) "or this one" and brings up another picture and says "more" He showed me probably 20 links that he had on his computer asking me this one more or this one more for a few minutes and then that was it. I was surprised and excited by the behavior. So he had an idea of what I liked and then he proposed about 2 months later. So we didn't go into jewelery stores but virtual ring shopping if you will. I ended up with something totally different though than what I had selected during that virtual tour, but it's all good.

     
    34.
    Member
    7,533 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    We were sitting on the couch one night and the then bf, turned his computer towards me and said "do you like this one"( brings up a picutre) "or this one" and brings up another picture and says "more" He showed me probably 20 links that he had on his computer asking me this one more or this one more for a few minutes and then that was it. I was surprised and excited by the behavior. So he had an idea of what I liked and then he proposed about 2 months later. So we didn't go into jewelery stores but virtual ring shopping if you will. I ended up with something totally different though than what I had selected during that virtual tour, but it's all good.

     
    35.
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    373 posts
    Helper bee
    AmyDee      

    @Isilme: I'm the exact same!  I would love to at least look around with my bf so he can see what I like, but he's told me that "when the time comes he wants to do it all himself."  Mehhh.  I have a wishlist on Moissaniteco.com that I'm (like you) too scared to show him for the same reasons.  I've printed it out though and use it as a bookmark when I'm reading, so if he gets curious he's more than welcome to peek and seek what it is, lol.  And I have a long wait too, anywhere from 2 years on (EEK!!)  Hey, at least we have a lot of time to give our boys hints about style we like.

     
    36.
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    1,444 posts
    Bumble bee
    bebefly    October 22, 2011   Ottawa

    I've wanted this particular e-ring since I dreamed it up as a 16 year old (though, surprisingly, I never thought about weddings, just the e-ring!) The only thing that changed from then to when I got it is I changed the cut of the stones from round to princess/cushion & I switched the order of the stones (so instead of diamond flanked by two amethysts, I now have an amethyst flanked by two diamonds).

    I designed it myself and did the leg work with pricing out jewellers that could custom make it on our budget. I made an appointment with my FI to design it & put a down payment on it, but I didn't want to know when it was ready, so he could make the proposal a surprise (which is what he wanted).

    It was a nice compromise. He proposed to me the way I'd been daydreaming about (which, of course, I told him). It was very low-key, just us laying in bed snuggling (which we do to reconnect as a couple - we love our cuggles!). It was just very "us" and absolutely perfect (And so is my ring!!)

     
    37.
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    1,194 posts
    Bumble bee
    Vegan    July 6, 2013   maryland

    I picked other because my SO told me right out no he doesn't want me to go ring shopping with him.  I'm not a big jewelry person but I am particular about the jewelry I do buy.  While SO did a great job with a necklace a few years back I would love to have input on this I mean it's a bigger purchase.  The best thing I could come up with without literally going shopping with him is creating a document.  It has the ring I want along with the diamond specifications.  I don't kow if he'll actually use it but I can only hope that he does.  I mean I'll love it regardless I'm just really picky and he knows this.

     

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