Post # 1
My SO and I have talked about getting engaged/married for over a year now, and he knows it’s incredibly important to me. We are both in very comfortable positions in our lives to take that next step – good careers, little debt, bought a house together.
I got frustrated with the waiting game when I found this site…and am SO surprised at the number of you that say “he has the ring” or “it will be delivered on this date”! I have no idea if he has even started to look at rings, and I don’t think he would want to go with me to look at them. He has a more traditional view when it comes to getting engaged, but it seems like nearly all of you had at least some clue he had bought a ring.
How did it get brought up? Did you buy it together? DId it ruin the engagement excitement at all for you? I am totally intrigued by this!
Post # 3
@BOSOXfan07: I think every couple is different. We had just gone through a tough time together (FIs dad had passed away after battling cancer) and it made us both realise we were meant to be together. We then decided to go and look at rings. It was a mutual decision to start the next stage in our lives. Since FI had to finance the ring he didn’t propose until he had fully paid it off so about a year later. He proposed on a beach in Tel Aviv. It was no less special or meaningful because I knew he had the ring. I was still super excited to be his fiancée 🙂
Post # 4
We had been together 5 years and had talked about getting married. we went ring shopping so he could get an idea of what I liked. I didn’t know when or how he would propose. He ended up proposing the next month with a ring he bought on Bluenile.com. I was still surprised and he also threw a surprise engagement party for us that night. I love our engagement story and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Post # 5
@BOSOXfan07: We have been dating forever. We’ve talked about getting engaged before and I wanted him to know my style (which is smallish diamond with accent art, but I have small fingers so the smaller the better) because I knew his style (bigger = better). We saw a commercial that had a halo and I commented how much I disliked halos (on my finger) and he was surprised.
Then I mentioned what I like might change my mind once I tried them on. So he suggested we go look at rings, but he wanted to pick out the ring. So we spent an hour trying on rings where I told him what I liked and what I didn’t like. 3 months later he picked a ring he liked that he thought I would like and apparently spent hours looking at diamonds to pick the one he liked. He surprised me completely! 🙂 I love the ring.
Post # 6
We decided together to get married and went to look at rings together. He picked out the style of my ring and I agreed. He bought it shortly thereafter and proposed in a surprising way. To me, getting married is far too serious of a decision to make without serious discussion and agreement. Maybe it’s a weird point of view, but I would have been horrified if my husband had just sprung it on me with surprise proposal.
I am also happy I had the chance to choose the ring I’ll be wearing for the rest of my life.
Post # 7
We went shopping together, without even planning to go ring shopping. He suggested gettong my finger measured so he could plan but my ring was sparkling in the counter, daring us to buy it!
Roll forwards two months I guesses he was planning something as I spied a bottle of bubbly appear in the bottom of the fridge (under a bag of peppers!), I even suspected the day he would do it but he totally blew me away with his proposal! I got the day right, I knew the ring but I was still surprised! I can’t believe he snuck the ring out of the safe and how perfect his proposal was. Even now I get a goofy grin on my face thinking about it..
Post # 8
He knew what I liked but he picked it out on his own. I had no desire to be part of the ring shopping process. It definitely did not ruin the proposal or anything, and I love that HE picked that ring especially for me. I love the ring.
Post # 9
I told FI what ring I wanted – he bought it. I knew about it. Then he proposed. Nothing about that ruined my engagement. I agree that every couple is different but if getting engaged is ‘ruined’ but knowing about the ring in some way, I think priorities are a little skewed.
Post # 10
I had NO idea my DH was planning on proposing!
He snuck off to a jewelery store while I was OOT, and kept it in their vault from when it came in until he proposed, about a month later!
Post # 11
My SO was planning to surprise me originally, but it didn’t make sense for him to make such a large financial decision alone when it’s supposed to symbolize us starting to make decisions together. I think either way is fine.
Post # 12
@linnylou_88: So sorry about what you went through. My brother just passed this September very suddenly at the age of 34. He drowned in a pool at his home, and it absolutely devestated my very close knit family. My SO literally dropped everything and was my rock through it all. He took care of all of us, and it really brought us closer together. It really made it clear to me how quickly life can change. One minute I was using the copier at my office and the next I was crumpled on the floor. This has made me so aware of how badly I want to be married to him, and considering we already own a house together, it just doesn’t really make sense to me to just “wait it out” for no reason. He has other plans, it seems, though.
Anyways, I was just asking this question about ring shopping before the engagement, because I wasn’t sure if it was the norm. I think I worded it poorly when I said did it “ruin” the engagement. I know the engagement is about the marriage and spending your lives together. Honestly, I don’t really care too too much about a ring and the whole deal. I just meant more along the lines of, when you look back on it, did you wish you had not shopped ahead of time? I guess our own society kind of pushes this image of the doe-eyed girl completely shocked that he asked for her hand in marriage.
I wouldn’t mind doing a little shopping. In fact, I think it would be a little comforting to know that he’s actually serious about it, and that we would be making at least baby steps towards marriage.
Post # 13
Ours was different, I wanted to pick out my ring, or at least help, so FI surprised me with the engagement first, and we went ring shopping after. It was the best of both worlds, surprise engagement and I got to pick my ring without spoiling it. I also got to present him with a watch at the same time, so it truly was an exchange between us.
I know most women want the ring at the time of proposal, but there is something to be said for being surprised, then taking a relaxing time to pick a ring without the pressure.
Post # 14
My fiance bought me a sapphire I really liked back in April. I named it the Precious. It sat in a box in the night stand for months. At a certain point, I started bugging him. “Hey, don’t you wanna hide this at some point?” It felt like it was never going to get a home. Then one day back in at the beginning of October maybe he said something along the lines of “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out….I think we should go look at rings.” So we went to two places and I picked out some settings I liked, but there was one I was absolutely in love with. They said it would take four weeks to have that one made to fit my stone (the halo of the one in the store wasn’t the right size for my stone). He really played it off like he liked some of the other ones as good, maybe better. I told him I would be lucky to have any of them. The precious disappeared. I didn’t mention it. I hoped somehow, magically I would get my ring on my birthday at the end of October, even though it hadn’t really been four weeks. Didn’t happen. Then I hoped for Thanksgiving. Didn’t happen. I didn’t want it to happen on Christmas, but maybe right before. Didn’t happen. December 30th, after the garage had been off limits to me for days (he was “making something”), I came home and he was more dressed up than normal. He said he had to get something. I texted my friend I thought it was about to happen. Sure enough, he took me into our spare room and he had built an adorable sign that lit up and said “S
, will you marry me?” My favorite love song was playing. Out came the ring, awkwardly, as I had started crying and got down on MY knees to investigate the sign. But it was a perfect, awkward, emotional proposal. And the precious loves its home! I think I got the best of everything….a ring I was garanteed to love that he also liked, and the surprise.
Post # 15
@BOSOXfan07: We bought it together. I picked it out, tried it on, etc. There was an insane sale on and we got an extra 10% off the sale price because we were from out of the country. So he bought it then and there (on a whim, we were supposed to be looking at a winter coat for him.)
3 hours later he proposed and I was shocked. I thought the ring was still in its box in my purse. He’d taken it out without me knowing. I seriously did not see it coming (he’d told me I had to wait until 2014.)
Post # 16
@sjhanddab2014: Hilarious that you named your stone! I have done something similar in my own head a few times, and I thought I was nuts! Ha. Your story is so sweet!