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Hi ladies,
I read about ring-warming ceremonies (where the rings are passed around for guests to hold them for a second and say a prayer/blessing), and my husband & i thought it was a meaningful & sweet gesture.
However, when I mentioned it to my DOC, his response was lukewarm and said he wasn't sure if guests would take to the idea. He said it just seemed "kinda weird", and asked how I came up with the idea.
Anyone had / participated in a ring-warming at a wedding?
How did your guests react? If you were a guest, how did you feel?
Thanks in advance!
I have never heard of this, but I think it could be a really cool thing to add to a ceremony. I wouldn't suggest doing this for a huge group....less than 100, I'd say, otherwise you'd be waiting forever for the rings to get up to you lol.
I've never been to a wedding with a ring warming ceremony, so I'm not much help there. But Married2MrWright has an amazing bio with photos (and a video! Ring warming ceremony starts at 2:14 of the video) of her ring warming ceremony.
http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?UserName=Married2MrWright&m=1
Our officiant suggested a ring warming and it worked out really well. She described what the ring warming ceremony meant to us and we started passing the rings around. Then she continued the wedding ceremony, while the rings were passed around and later, when she reached the "Exchange of Vows/Rings" part, she asked for the rings to be passed back.
It flowed very naturally and wasn't awkward at all. I think maybe your DOC thinks its "kinda weird" because he isn't familiar with it?
Thanks ladies. I'm having only about 40 guests, which was why I thought it was a nice gesture.
@ lilneko69: thanks for the reassurance!
Wow -- did he really say it was "weird?" Way to invalidate other peoples' nontraditional ideas, buddy! I think it's a great idea, especially if you and your fiance really like it and you're having a small group of people. Maybe you could put a small note in the program letting people know that it's going to happen so they're not totally surprised by it.
I would never do that either. I'm having an outdoor wedding and the last thing I need is for the rings to be dropped and lost in the grass! (and I'm sure the poor person who drops it would rather avoid that stress as well). There are other opportunities for our guests to give us their well wishes that don't involve objects that cost more than 2 weeks pay (well, his ring was two weeks pay, mine was more). We're actually having a chocolate ceremony so that we can include the guests. I thought it was a really cute idea! The ring warming ceremony sounds cute, I'd just be way too paranoid. I don't even plan on handing my engagement ring over to MOH unless I know the ring fits on her finger (it doesn't fit on my right).
I've honestly never seen it before, but it's a sweet thought. As a person in healthcare, and one who's again dealing with a son who's under the weather (we just got back from the pediatrician this am), I don't really like the idea of alot of people passing and touching my stuff.
He he..I'd have the minister ask the congregation to do a ritual handwashing first (with some antibacterial soap) first before they passed my stuff around for everybody to touch!
I've heard of this, and I think it's a beautifully symbolic ceremony. I think people will have the sense not to drop the rings! Of course, if you're worried about that, you *could* always use fake rings like they do for the ring bearer...
I say go for it!
heh, I don't know if it's a matter of sense more than a matter of accidents happen! lol I've lost my engagement ring before (luckily recovered it two weeks later... in cabbage) and I just don't want to go through that again, or have someone else go through the guilt! I plan on having a wish jar as my guestbook so my guests can still offer their well wishes.
interesting thoughts there - esp the fears about dropping the rings, LOL.
well, i don't intend to just have the 2 little rings passed around, but rather, have them tied on a book (we're using a book of significance, instead of a ring pillow). So... even if there were some klutzy guests, the rings would still be tied to the book
and we are also having it in a small bistro, so i guess 'runaway rings' are also easier to track down - if it does come down to that!
@amysue: good idea on mentioning the ring-warming in the program! thank you!
Thanks for bringing up this subject. I really would love a ring warming. I think you are wise to tie them to a "book of significance". Plus I like that idea a whole lot more than shelling out $30 or $40 bucks for a ring pillow! Or, I could always sew one....anyway, thanks for asking about ring warming. I would love to do that, hope FH loves it too!
I've never heard of this before. I love the idea of it, but I don't actually think I would have wanted to pass our rings around. Have you thought of doing a candle lighting instead? It's a way to have all of your guests involved, and it makes for beautiful pictures!
I've never heard of this, and I wouldn't do it because I am not into nontraditional ceremonies... this goes for sand ceremonies and hand fasting too. It's just my personal taste. Your DOC should help you achieve what you want, and if that's what you want, go for it!
I haven't heard of this before, but it sounds like a neat idea. I would be afraid that our guests would be clumsy and drop the book or the rings etc (I can completely picture my guests doing this...).
We wanted to include our guests in our ceremony as well, so near the end our minister is saying (it's a religious ceremony but the idea would be the same even if it wasn't):
I charge to you to remind them of their unbreakable bond and to help guide them by way of the Holy Word. Signal your answer by standing to your feet. Please join hands. Sarah and Drew, remember that you do not walk this path alone. Do not be afraid to reach out to others when together you face difficulty. Other hands are there; friends, family and the church. To accept an outreached hand is not an admission of failure, but an act of faith.
We basically want everyone to join hands and create a "unbroken circle," (people will just be in the rows, so it won't be an actual circle) of people we love
I love this idea, in theory, and with a small wedding you could probably pull it off. I just know that there will be people at my wedding that I wouldn't trust not to pocket them...
I went to an outdoor wedding where the couple did a ring warming. There were about 60 guests, and we were standing in a circle around the couple. The rings were passed around the circle in a pretty box, and everyone held them for a moment. I thought it was lovely! Then you get to wear a wedding ring that each of your guests has touched, said a little blessing over, etc.
I don't know if we'll do one at our wedding though... it's mostly immediate family and they're all divorced! Might be bad muck or something, haha
I think it's a lovely thing. Fill my ring up with warmth and good juju!
we thought it was a lovely thing to do, but ultimately decided against it because our ceremony will be hosted in a small garden with a small stream running through it. it might not happen, but i didn't want to leave it to chance that someone was going to drop it and have it roll right into the stream.
it would probably work well for a small ceremony (<50 guests) :)
We were planning to do it when our intended guest list was 60 people ... but now we are closer to 120 people (because we found a bigger venue that we liked), and it just seems like it would take too long (we are aiming for the ceremony to be 20 minutes TOPS)
We're doing this!! This was the first element of our ceremony that we decided to include. We're having just under 30 guests so it's feasible for us. I'm going to make a small bag in which the rings will be passed around, and we intend to start the ring warming during a musical piece at the beginning of the ceremony. It really means a lot to me that every time I look down at my ring, I'll know that our family & friends blessed the rings and our union just before we exchanged vows. I can't wait for it! :)
I've heard of this being done, but a ribbon was strung through the pews/chairs and the rings were on the strong, so that the guest just passed the rings along the string and there was no chance of them getting dropped or lost. If I remember correctly the bride's ring went through the bride's side and the groom's ring went through the groom's side so it took half as much time.
Wow, I've never heard of this. I might have to run this one by FI to see what he thinks. I am usually against the sand and other various ceremonies for our wedding, but this is so sweet.
One of the Bees did it recently - passed them around in a little shell, I think? Can't think of who it was but I'll let you know if I figure it out.
Anyway, I think it's a very nice gesture. Sure, a little cheesy, but weddings are cheesy! I can't believe that your DOC would say that any of your ideas were "kinda weird," that seems so rude to me!
I think this is an awesome idea. We're going to have about 120 guests, but I'd love to figure out a way to make it work. The candle idea doesn't feel right. And we're getting married outside during the day, so it would be a logistical challenge. Sand neither.
Infusing the rings with "physical, emotional, and spiritual warmth," sounds really great.
I'm afraid of the rings falling and getting lost, too. Plus our guests are going to be sitting on a wooden deck with slats in it! So we'll have to tie the rings to something. I don't know if there are two books that are so significant to tie the rings to, though. The "nice box" idea is good.
Too bad about your close-minded DOC!
We are going to do this, but we are placing the rings in a little bag and passing it around. Most likely those mesh like bags people use for wedding favors.
Southern Bride: If I were a guest I would want to actually see the rings and touch them. Are you worried about them getting lost?
We did end up doing this in our ceremony and we loved it. We had the rings tied together with a thin red ribbon. Fairly early in the ceremony, our officiant explained what it meant and how it would work:
"Later in the ceremony B. and M. will exchange rings as signs of their commitment to one another. As the ceremony proceeds, we invite family and friends to take part in The Warming of the Rings. As the rings make their way around the group, please take a personal moment to hold them, warm them with your love and make a silent wish for this couple and their future together. When these rings come back they will contain, in their precious metal, that which is more precious, that which is priceless—your love and hope and pledge of support for their union."
(We found some of that language at various websites.)
Our ringbearer took the rings to the back of the house and sent them on their way. Our musicians played for a couple minutes, and the ceremony continued. We had 120 guests and there was actually enough time for the rings to make it all the way around by the time we exchanged them.
We got several comments from our guests that it was a meaningful part of our ceremony.
This is my first time hearing about one, but I would never do one. I would scared that someone would drop them and just thinking about all those people touching my rings... We also have a lot of people attending our ceremony, so it would be a lot of time waiting for people to pass the rings and waiting for them to make its way back to us.
I tried to read all previous comments to see if anyone put this but, I just read about this yesterday and fell in love with it..... BUT we are not going to be passing them around. We have a ove 200 ppl wedding anticipated and are shooting for a 20-30 minutes ceremony so we are setting up a table with candles and a type of "bowl" so when our guests approach the seating for the ceremony, they will stop at the table and do the "wish/prayer" for us kind of thing then take their seats for the ceremony :) Hope this helps!
I heard about this after I was married and it was the first thing since having my wedding that made me go "ohhh i wish i had done that". I really REALLY like the idea of incorporating our guests into the ceremony,,,,in the the wedding..into the marriage...after all thats why they are there. The ring warming idea i think is just fantastic for that, especially since you only have 40 people. It was suggested that everytime someone holds the ring they say a short prayer or wish for the couple :)
Thanks for posting your wording, that really fits with what I want to do (haven't mentioned a ring warming to P yet though! Not sure what he'll think, so I want all my info together before I bring it up!).
I like that it talks about love and good wishes - we're definitely not a religious couple, so the verses that ask for people to say a prayer over/bless them just aren't right for us.
@catchafire: I do worry about them getting lost, but I didn't think about the ribbon thing! We are having a small ceremony, so I am thinking about doing it while we go off and sign the required documents instead at the beginning of the ceremony.
My best friend is going to marry us, so as he is explaining the ring warming to the guests, he will have passed if off to the first guest. I am thinking about having our bridal party do it before the ceremony or maybe they should be included...but the MOH and BM have to sign the certificate with us. lol I'm a mess.
Both FI and I are slight germophobes, and I hate having people touch my e-ring because of the pave - I'll have my rings cleaned before the ceremony, and don't want finger oil gunk on them! I know that's not the sweet or meaningful way to approach it, but I like a lot of other people's suggestions here! :) Also I think as a guest I would get worried I'd lose the rings and would wonder about how much they cost and stuff, because I am like that. Ha.
i like the idea of all your guests putting their positive energy into the rings.
i absolutely love this and am doing it in my june garden wedding of 150ppl... here is how i found how to do it but I am planning on using a ribbon and have it done while my friend is singing...
and for those Germ-a-phobes out there... you can keep your candle and sand ceremony... and your 2 cents for that matter
@Future Mrs Douggie:That last part was a bit harsh, don't you think. I think placing the rings in a little baggie is a great idea for those who have germ issues. It doesn't mean they have to have a whole different ceremony. I've seen it on tv where the rings were passed in a see through mesh baggie. It wasn't any less meaningful.
I love this and really hope that we can make it work with out large group. I can't wait!
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