Post # 1
I never thought I’d write this post. I was set on getting a very simple, 18k yellow gold wedding band or a very thin carved band. Then 2 nights ago, I found Van Craeynest of San Francisco. Now I’m in serious lust and in need of advice and moral support!
First, please keep in mind that I don’t have an engagement ring. I never wanted one. I just wanted 1 ring, my wedding ring. I wanted us to spend money on other things: our honeymoon and our house. Fast forward, we booked an awesome honeymoon that’s modestly priced (after hours of research, I found an incredible deal) and we just moved into our first and forever home (we had no idea we’d find one so soon) and I helped negotiate 5% off the asking price. But with a new house comes unexpected costs, like our chimney – it needs to be replaced. But our wedding is soon and if I don’t find a ring now, I’ll be left with a string on our wedding day.
Back to the ring … My heart does palpitations when I look at the rings on that site — I don’t even want the ones with the bling. I love their simple, antique carved bands! It’s exactly what I wanted: a thin, antique looking band that’s handmade! So I write them and get a response right away. Of course it’s more expensive than I thought but not suuuuper expensive that it’s not even a question.
BUT it’s still 3x the price of what I paid for Fi’s band! And I feel a little bad about it! If I bought Fi’s band here — it would have cost the SAME as this ring. But I’m a super bargain hunter and Fi wanted a very simple ring so it wasn’t hard finding a deal.
Please tell me it’s OK … that or I should be more practical and just be happy and count my blessings already. But that ring … is so pretty! Help!
Post # 3
I should also mention that I went cheap-o on everything else: my wedding dress is made in Hong Kong, my shoes were 80% off from Amazon, my veil was a little pricey but I figured I’d reuse it for my future baby’s baptism, and I’m looking at earrings that are under $20.
This would be the only thing that’s just mine that’s a little pricey (though I bet it’s not even close to what you gals paid for your rings). But when I say pricey, I mean 3x the price of his ring.
We would still be able to pay for it in cash, but other household things would have to wait (for instance, we’ll eventually need 3 couches – we (Fi) didn’t have much furniture to begin with).
Post # 4
I’m a “bargain hunter” (or as my FI calls me, “cheapskate) just like you. I had an idea of the wedding band I wanted, but all of the jewelers in my area quoted me $2,500-$3,000 to make it.
Everyone said “it’s your wedding band, you’ll have it forever, you should splurge to get what you want”. But just like you, I felt bad. My FI had already bought me a beautiful e-ring, and I didn’t want to put him further out by spending so much to buy me my dream band. Especially since his titanium band cost $30!!!
So I turned to Etsy, my savior!! I found a jeweler who made my dream band for less than $1,000. I still tried to split the cost with my FI, but he wouldn’t hear a word of it. He was happy he was “saving” $2,000 on my band, and I was thrilled that I got a great deal compaired to having it made locally.
I would HIGHLY suggest finding an Etsy jeweler to make the exact same band for less $$$$.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you your FH is being so difficult about this. E-rings are very expensive and most men are shocked when they find out how much they cost.
Could you upgrade your stone in your e-ring? Would that make you feel any better? I ended up paying for my setting on my e-ring because I wanted something that cost more then what FH wanted to spend; to me it is worth it because it’s something that I love. If he had gotten what he wanted to get me I wouldn’t love it I probably wouldn’t even like it.
As for the insurance you need to get the ring appraised and send the appraisal to your insurance to cover lost & theft. As for something breaking on it- did you get anytime of warrantee/ service plan on it? Some places its included others you have to pay for it.
Check out Jared.com (I don’t know if they ship there) they have amazing blingy rings for not too much money. I got a band with ½ ct for $500! Also when looking for wedding bands don’t just look under wedding check out the diamond right hand rings they are often less expensive!
Post # 6
I think the wedding ring is the one thing that should not be influenced by price. You will wear this ring every day for the rest of your life, it is the only tangible representation of your marriage so I say get the one you love. You say you can actually afford it so it is not like you are choosing a ring over food and really, if you don’t you’ll look at your satisfactory ring and dream of the other. I too enjoy a good bargain but FI was set on platinum wedding bands so we searched out the best price for what he wanted (his is the expensive ring in our relationship) and ordered it online. His ring was way more than I anticipated spending and almost twice as much as mine but he will wear it daily and as long as he does not lose it, I think it’S an okay investment.
Post # 7
@mishelleez Oh no, you’ve misunderstood. Fi isn’t being difficult at all. I didn’t want an e-ring and this is about my wedding band. I should have been more clear. It’s just a plain, carved band that I want but it’s still 3x more than what I paid for his wedding band (BUT that’s cause I found a deal, if I paid retail here it would have been the same price).
I’m just feeling bad that it’s a lot more than his. Fi says if I want it, then he’ll get it but I can’t shake feeling bad about it.
@CanAmBride I felt a little better reading your post. But I’m a little afraid of asking for an Etsy commission because what I want requires very fine and detailed work, I found an awesome girl on Etsy that did carved bands and I think her work is awesome, but the rings on that site is ythe kind of work she’ll do after years of experience.
Post # 8
@slicey19 I feel like hugging you right now – thank you!
Post # 9
My mom chose a simple band that she didn’t really love at the time, and after years of disliking her ring, she finally broke down and had it swapped out for something else she actually LIKES. Now she’s not wearing her original ring which makes the sentimental side of her a little sad. So consider how you’ll feel about it long term. In 5 years, will you be upset that you put the money toward a ring and had to wait on COUCHES?!
We have been in our new house for a year now, and yet we’re still sleeping on a box spring and mattress. Obviously I want to get an actual BED at some point, but for us, splurging on the mattress was more important than having a frame to put it in. Also we had one completely empty room for a whole year! We only just recently put furniture in it. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to fill your home. People expect new homeowners to be missing a few things at first!
Post # 10
@Vitsippa: Haha sorry I typed my responce in word when I went back to post I thought your thread was the one I was writing my comment for- It was not 🙂 I just found the thread I was responding to!
Post # 11
1. The rings on their website are LOVELY
2. You have skrimped and saved and you dont have an engagement ring so I think you deserve one of those lovely rings as a symbol of your love.
3. You kind of remind me of myself. You seem very selfless and you are concerned about indulging and spoiling yourself.
Post # 12
Ultimately, if you can afford it, I would say get what you want. However, I am going to throw one more consideration for you out there which is that if you get the delicately carved ring you are probably going to want to take it off when you are doing any kind of hard labor (gardening, housecleaning, building, etc.) whereas with a plain band you could wear it all the time. Gold is soft and wears easily and if you wear a carved band all the time you will wear the design down fairly quickly. Even if you take it off to protect it from hard wear your ring will look very different after a lifetime of wear.
I inherited a collection of wedding rings from my grandmother going back to at least her grandmother (one has a date in the 1860’s engraved in it). The ones that are still beautiful are relatively plain (including my grandmother’s which is going to be my wedding band as well). There is one in particular that I suspect was once a beautiful ring, but the ornamentation is worn down to oddly shaped globs and it is frankly kinda ugly although very sentimental because someone clearly work it for a lifetime.
Post # 13
We went to look at rings today and none even came close to the ones I fell in love with. Fi’s repeated how he wants me to have the ring I really want and I’m for sure not settling with the plain thin band anymore! But before I go all out, I’m enquiring about the first hand engraved band I saw made by OGI. It’s less expensive, more deeply carved and would wear down nicely in time. (Thanks tnason for pointing this out!)
But I still love the Van Craeynest band. And I’ve narrowed it down … it’s no longer 3x more expensive because with tax and shipping it’s closer to 3.5x!
I seriously LOVE you girls for taking the time out to post and share your stories! Being so far away from my family and friends makes it hard to let all this out when they’re sleeping while I’m awake (or at work)!
@CanAmBride I meant to add that I’m happy to hear I’m not alone. Thank you!
@Bon Fire Girl, you’re right. It’s couches! Reading your story really put things in perspective!
@trishisadish Yes, mam! I might just do it! But I still feel a guilty about it! I need to talk myself into it soon though, it takes 3-4 weeks to make!
@tnason Thanks to you I went back to contact the jeweler where I saw the 1st ring I liked (by OGI). They never answered my email and when I call it just sounds like a cellphone so I assumed they were out of business. But tonight I got ahold of them (and I think I spoke to the designer/owner). The ring is more deeply engraved and I’d look forward to seeing it old and worn-out, plus it’s cheaper! I’m still not convinced but it’s more of an option now than ever before!
Post # 14
Honestly, I think its really normal to have a band that is considerably more expensive that your FI’s. Frankly, I think it wouldn’t be normal if they cost the same amount of money. My FI bought me a 3 ct round brilliant platinum eternity band, while my FI wanted a Tungsten ring, which was literally 20 times cheaper than my band. That’s what he wanted and that’s what I wanted, which he generously gave me.
Post # 15
I finally decided on the ring and inscription inside. *whew*
I ended up not getting the Van Craeynest, instead I got the OGI and I’m really happy about my choice. It’s more deeply engraved and would look absolutely awesome with age (I like the look of vintage rings that’s almost turned smooth after years of use) and they engrave the inside as well (which wasn’t an option for the Van Craeynest rings).
I’m really happy about my choice! Here’s my ring but in platinum:
Post # 16
Thats really pretty! My set was about 100x more expensive than FI’s band! Thats also because I got a deal though. If I had gone the traditional route with a jeweler it would have only been about 10x.