(Closed) Ringbearer and Flower Girl

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think the little girl would likely be really upset at not being included.  Could you not have 2 of each?  Otherwise I think asking your friend’s son to be ringbearer won’t play out well if his siblings aren’t involved.

Post # 4
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I too would really give thought to including both sons and the daughter as a second flower girl.  Definitely if you are going to include both sons you should include the daughter.  Also, if your niece is only going to be 2, it might be a good idea to have an older girl to walk with her.  A two year old flower girl is absolutly adorable, but it is a little on the young side.  She might be more comfortable is she were doing it with someone else.  Also, if she ends up bailing, you’ll still have another FG

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@piyo:  I would just ask the parents, and decide that way.  See if they think the other children would be upset.  Also, have you talked to your sister about it?  My oldest niece (3yo) along with FIs second cousins (5yo and 4yo) are going to be our flower girls.  We won’t have any ringbearers.  My sister was actually relieved that I was going to have other flowergirls because kids that young are notoriously unreliable and she was worried her daughter would have a meltdown right before.  Anyways, if you really just want your niece as a flowergirl, then go with that.  But maybe try to include the other girl in some other way?  For example, I’m getting my three flower girls matching flower headbands, and I’m also going to get one for my youngest neice (1yo) who’s too young to be a flowergirl so that she feels included.  Just a thought.  If you decide only to include the one son, I would be extra conscious about giving gifts to the FG and ringbearer, if you are choosing to do that. 

Post # 7
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I personally would opt for two and two as well, especially since your niece is only 2. I’ve met some very confident, outgoing 2s and I’ve met some shy, unpredictable 2s and you just never know what you will get that day. Maybe your niece could just be hungry/tired or woke up on the wrong side of bed and you may be out a FG. Honestly, they’re all cute anyway so I don’t think the older FG will be distracting from the little FG. We have a 3 and 5 year old and the 5 year old is actually the more excited one who’s actually practicing her steps!

As for your follow-up question, I probably wouldn’t ask one of three siblings to participate because I can only imagine how that conversation will go with the kids, even if the parents are okay with 1/3 participating. I guess if you do, pick the one closest in age to your niece so it looks like it was an age/matching thing.

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