(Closed) Rings and Peoples' Opinions…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

IMO, you’ll never be able to stop caring about what other people think.  It’s who you are.  I am very similar.

That being said, it is your ring on your finger, for the rest of your life.  Not theirs.  They may only be around for another few years, and then you’ll have new friends.  

Your engagement ring isn’t about a competition, it’s about the love you have for one another and it shouldn’t matter.  It’s like the old saying goes, you can never please anyone.  Trust me! 

I know that doesn’t help, but hopefully with the hive you’ll have a good support system to change your mind in caring about other people and what they say.

Post # 4
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fh and I have a rule, no matter what coworkers say, you should do the opposite. I have gotten some of the worst advice from people at work!

When you get a ring, post it here, and you will get dozens of opinions, many of whom will love your ring!

Keep telling yourself that its not a competition. You don’t have to make all the same choices as people at work, or people in your family. You are a different person with your own desires.

Post # 5
483 posts
Helper bee

I dislike when people are so opinionated that they are out right rude and make you feel bad about what you like … I feel like people act that way just to make themselves feel “above” everyone else … Just live your life with your nice things you only live once and your way better than them for not forcing your opinions on them so just tell them they have no right to tell you what they feel is right or wrong .. Buy what ever you want it’s all in how you express yourself if they know your confident they will prob back off which is probably why you feel the way you do because they have points of views and know how to explain why there views are “better” … I love diamonds and I understand the controversies but even if you don’t get a diamond you get critisized … I have a tanzanite solitaire I may use as a stand in since i will be getting a 2ct and i dont want anything to happen my precious !!!and I already know if anyone makes a rude comment on how it’s not a diamond all I have to say is well Unlike a diamond a tanzanite is only mined in one location in limited quantities and is 1,000 times more rare than a diamond there for making a good quality tanzanite 5 times more expensive than a high quality diamond … I’m sure they will shut up real quick without giving specific numbers and cts there gonna be throwing huge numbers around just trying to calculate how much you spent… Just think of a good knowledgeable  comeback and the problem will be solved there’s always 2 sides to everything no person is perfect and the world isn’t either the important thing is to make the best of what you have 

Post # 6
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I could give half a shit about what OTHER people think of my ring.

I have a two carat lab created white sapphire. I could use this thing as a disco ball if I wanted to! Only half joking lol.

I asked my Mom and my Twin what they thought of it. The only thing they said was “Wow, thats pretty! I’m so glad you’re taking your relationship to the next level!”

Their opinions mattered to me.

Nobody else.

I have had people gawk and make rude comments, “oh so working here to cover the cost of that thing?” (I work in fast food). 

My answer?

“Nope, working my way through school, Guess my man just really loves me”

They have a problem with it they can choke on their fries.


Post # 7
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Just think, he’s buying it for YOU, no one else. They can shove their opinions, if you love it, who else matters? 🙂

Post # 8
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why don’t you just shrug and tell them that you were surprised by it, and had no say in the selection process? And that you like it because it’s what he picked out as a symbol of his love. And then talk about sports or something. That should shut up everyone who will rail on you about ethics, sexism, and other moral imperatives not everyone shares. If they persist, say “What was I supposed to do, tell him to take it back to the store??”

It would, of course, be better if you could just own it and not care what everyone thinks, but if you can’t, you might as well at least get them off your case.

Post # 9
3402 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s a tough senario because some people simply do care about what others think about them, and others simply do not.

For the most part,, I’m in the group that doesn’t care a lot.

I am like you in that the ring was the most important thing to me, so it is costing us more than our wedding. Granted, we have a wedding budget of 3k, but still. My ring is a 3ct Amora OEC Moissanite in a semi-custom signature design (waiting for it, and waiting for the proposal!). I knew that a lot of people wouldn’t have nice thoughts about the ring, or about my decisions for my wedding in general, but honestly I just don’t care.

I try to think how often people live their lives according to my opinions, and when I realize that the answer is “almost never,” I conclude that they don’t deserve my consideration either (not on these matters, anyway).

The ring and the wedding are very personal. Why involve others in something like that?  

Post # 10
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You said that you like diamonds.

That’s who you are, not who she is.

You’re the one wearing it for the rest of your life.

In 5 years from now you might not even work with this person. Then you’ll feel so foolish for not doing what you love because back in the day some coworker didnt like diamonds.

Post # 11
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As the others have said, this is YOUR LIFE… so you need to do what is right for you, and not worry so much what others think (besides in 5, 10 or 20 years from now, THESE people more than likely will not be anywhere in your life… as co-workers come and go when you grow, change jobs, and move on)

All that said, as one Diamond Lover to another, I must tell you that BIGGER is not necessarily better

You should educated yourself on the 4Cs… Carat – Colour – Clarity – and Cut (the last one being BOTH the shape of the Diamond as well as the Quality of the Cut that showcases the facets and shine of a Diamond)

If you want a 2Carat Diamond, then realistically you could be looking at anywhere from $ 5,000 (for a poorer quality diamond) up to Millions of Dollars for a HIGH Quality Diamond.  The average for 2Carats at Good Quality is aprox $ 15,000 to $ 20,000 (just the stone)

If you are looking at the stone as an investment piece / family heirloom, then you might want to go to a smaller diamond of better quality (ie a 1Carat Diamond can run anywhere from $ 2,500 up to the Millions again, and an average 1Carat of Good Quality will be aprox $ 7,500 to $ 10,000 just for the stone.

Of the 4Cs, Carat is probably the least desireable quality unless you have a lot of money to spend… because otherwise you could end up with a LARGE stone that has visible flaws (several posts here on WBee about that)

Much better to go with a smaller stone with good to ideal cut, and decent colour and clarity… these are the babies that truly sparkle !!

If you want more info on Diamonds, a good place to start I found is the Diamond Education Pages on the Blue Nile Website… they also sell Diamonds, so that have a listing of Diamonds for sale, and what they are worth… a great way to come to understand how the Diamond market works, and what you can realistically get for the money you have to spend (and you can set it to your local currency as well)

Blue Nile = http://www.bluenile.com 

Hope this helps,


Post # 12
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Welcome to Weddingbee!

It’s a horrible thought that others may not like your ring or use it to make negative judgments about you, but it is going to happen no matter what ring you choose. If it’s big, some will think it’s ostentatious, yet if it’s small, others will think your fiance must not care about you enough or that you must be poor. You really can’t win. I myself have a moissanite engagement ring and I am certain when some people learn what it is, they automatically think it’s “fake” and make some kind of inference about my relationship or choices. It’s not a nice feeling, but it’s fleeting and therefore insignificant because the rest of the time I’m the one looking down at my own hand and feeling complete joy over seeing my ring sparkling like crazy.

You will spend much more time looking at and loving the ring you and your fiance choose than facing people who may judge you over it. You shouldn’t have to justify your choices either. As another bee said, it’s a very personal choice and no one should have the right to question you or make you feel bad about it. “This is the ring he chose to propose to me with. It’s very special to me and I love it,” should do the trick. No need to be witty, just matter of fact. If someone comments on the cost, just say, “Well, we made it work.” No need to feel bad or like you have to explain. And also remember that once your coworkers and family have gotten used to you guys being engaged, the only thing left is for you to spend time admiring your dream ring on your finger and knowing that a tonne of strangers who you meet will probably be in awe of it, seriously.

Post # 13
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Good solid advice from @Jezika:  

I would add that there are indeed some very BRASH people out there… who will make comments or ask inappropriate Questions.

One big piece of advice… DO NOT TELL ANYONE HOW MUCH THE RING COST.  EVER !!

This is NO ONES BUSINESS but you and your Fiance’s

If you OPEN THAT DOOR… things will only get worse !!


Post # 14
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Imagine what you would say “to” and “about” yourself if you got something else based off what other people said to you.

If you happen to agree with the people, that’s one thing. But how badly will you feel about yourself for getting something different just to appease others?

Your voice should be the loudest thing in your head.

Besides, a lot of people disparage things for many reasons. They could be speaking out of spitefulness or jealousy. I think the last people to listen to about your own personal happiness is people at work. No matter how much they smile in your face, generally, all they want to do is take your place or get more than you have. It might just be my experience, but I haven’t met very many genuine people at work. 

Don’t compromise. Only change your mind if it makes you and/or your fiance happy. Also remember that achieving your fiance’s happiness should not come at your own misery. So if he wants something different, and his desires will not make you miserable, let him have what he asks for. Otherwise, everyone else can butt out.

Post # 15
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i can empathize, i had a surprisingly negative experience getting engaged bc i live in a country where not only do people not really have money for big(ger) diamonds, it’s just not as customary. also, no one in my family has an engagement ring and few of my friends are engaged/married. i got a lot of strange remarks about it and felt so self conscious, to the point that i hid it and my engagement. i didn’t even show it to my sister for like a month. maybe i was being crazy but i get how you feel. my ring isn’t 2 ct but it’s close enough and honestly, i’m glad it’s not any bigger bc i can barely handle the attention as it is. 

after the first few wks of annoucements, i realized that people will react and then they’ll stop. no one actually cares about my ring except the people who do like it and want to look at it. point is, get what you want for yourself, deal w some awkward interactions and be done w it. you’ll get used to it!!

Post # 16
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t like diamonds. If someone asks me i’ll tell them that too, nothing wrong with honesty. HOWEVER I can see that they are objectively beautiful and when my sister got a diamond engagement ring I was genuinely happy for her because she loves it. When she showed it to me I said how beautiful it was. She knows I wouldn’t want a diamond but she doesn’t need me to want her ring, she wants it and that’s all that matters. 

Get what you feel comfortable with and I wouldnt assume your co-workers would be judgemental just because they wouldn’t want one. We can’t all be the same and being vocal about your moral beliefs in a neutral situation doesn’t make someone rude or judgemental. If they are horrid to you when you show them your ring then that’s their problem and that is rude, but remember just because THEY would never want a diamond doesn’t automatically mean they would be unpleasant to you for wanting one. 

Case in point – I’d never want one but that doesn’t stop me being just as happy for someone else. You don’t have to want something to be pleased for someone else 😉

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