Post # 1
I was always taught to be conservative in interviews, which means to never wear anything that stands out more than you do (Ex: so that they remember your cleavage and not YOU, or they remember your loud nail polish but not YOU, etc). Look polished, look professional, and wear your outfit, not let your outfit wear you.
I’ve always thought that engagement rings that are larger than 1 ct should stay home. Maybe slightly larger is fine? But 2ct+ honkers should stay home. Super blingy quad sets with halos and an accompanying large honkin’ wedding band should stay home. They steal the attention of the interviewer, and not in a good way.
But I got some information from a friend of mine who hires paralegals and lawyers for her legal firm. She actually says that she searches for a wedding band on “that” finger. It’s illegal for a prospective employer to ask questions about marital status, so she has to take the cues from the ring. She says that she purposely wants to hire married people because they tend to be more reliable for long-term employment since there are obligations to a family rather than a single person who has no obligations and can quit on his or her own will. I asked if anyone should wear a large blingy ring (as I’m known for wearing loud accessories), and shes confirmed that she gets distracted and starts thinking about the ring instead of the interview at hand.
Anyway.. penny for your thoughts?
Post # 3
@madelise: I wear my wedding band but I leave my ering on home. I agree with your friend that it’s a positive to seem married but like you said you do not want them to remember your ring and not you. Or assume you don’t “need” the job because your man is taking care of you.
Post # 4
@NovaRising: “Or assume you don’t “need” the job because your man is taking care of you.”
OOH, hadn’t thought of THAT! Then wouldn’t a wedding band do the same?
Post # 5
VERY Interesting! I am a lawyer and I have thought about that point when interviewing and just generally in the office. I have several friends who work in firms that opted to get seperate band/ E-ring sets so that the blingy e-ring could stay at home and a more simple band could be worn.
Although, I recently interviewed for a new position and I wore my 2.3 carat engagement ring, but it’s a sapphire so sometimes people think it’s just a piece of jewlery.
Another interesting note that your friend prefers married candidates! I would have thought, particularly when hiring women, they might prefer single women who aren’t going to be going on mat leave soon (I was worried they would think that when I was interviewing because I’m soon to be married).
I’m curious to hear others thoughts on this.
Post # 6
@madelise: I know in my office they look for wedding bands. They also look for signs that you’re a smoker or have children (they don’t like smokers and don’t like mothers….don’t get me started on the latter). They will look for cues, ask indirect questions that probably walk the line of acceptability.
I wouldn’t leave my ering at home if I was going to an interview – but mine isn’t overly flashy (it’s a 0.5ct – 0.79tcwt incl halo), if I had something really over the top I might leave it behind and just wear a wedding band.
Post # 7
@madelise: I think being married and being married to someone who is seemingly rich is a little different. So in that way a plain band wouldnt say this as much as a huge 3ct ring.
Post # 8
I wear mine. It’s very basic – 1 ct, thin band, pave band. If I had an extremely flashy honker of a ring I would probably stick to wedding band only during an interview. As it stands now I feel like mine is pretty tame and wouldn’t distract anyone!
Post # 9
Interesting! I can see both sides to the coin.
I’m hoping for a solitaire that will be in the neighbourhood of 1.5 carats – if I were going on an interview, I’d probably leave it at home and just wear the wedding band (if I were married). But what I wear would probably be misleading anyhow because in SO’s culture, wedding rings are worn on the right hand. So maybe I’ll always come off as unreliable, LOL.
Post # 10
I don’t have a massive ring (1.25 equivelent moissy), but I bought a plain white gold band to wear during my clinicals (nursing school) and to interviews. Not sure if it will help or hurt in the long run, but i feel it looks more professional than my engagement ring at an interview….
Post # 11
I have an interview on Tuesday and fully intend to leave my engagement ring at home. I don’t want them afraid I’m going to be planning my wedding on company time or thinking I don’t really need the job bc my stone looks big (since they can’t ask about it they’d probably assume its a diamond rather than moissy).
Post # 12
I wore mine forthe job I just interviewed for (and got hired), but mine’s a 0.5ct
Post # 13
@Caddyshack: I’m in law school and our career development office told us to take off engagement rings when interviewing.
I was told that for some firms I was interviewing with in my large Canadian city, I could leave on a wedding band if it did not stand out.For NYC, I interviewed with three firms and was explicitly told by my CDO and young associates I contacted prior to interviews to take off my engagement ring for the duration of the week I was there. I was even told to not mention my significant other whatsoever, which can get really difficult when the interviews are so conversational!
The difference between the two cities that where I live, biglaw firms will require 80-100 hours of your time per week, whereas NYC biglaw will swallow up your entire life. If there is someone in your life that requires some of your time, you’re a flight risk.
Post # 14
@madelise: I was taught to not wear a ring to interviews. If they think you’re bound to have a baby and get on *gasp* maternity leave, then you (sadly) are a less desirable candidate.
Post # 15
@madelise: I’ve seen women on this site comment about being discriminated against over a ring. In my mind, it’s entirely possible a better candidate was found and it was nothing to do with a ring. I agree that it’s obvious not to have your breasts hanging out at work but I’ve never in my experience had anyone care about a ring. I’ve asked HR people and they say it’s a loud of crap too.
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable but if they want to hire you – or not – your ring isn’t going to make a difference. I’m a senior manager and I’m 26 so I’ve had my share of promotions and interviews. I’ve had a diamond solitaire and two diamond bands on my ring finger and it hasn’t worked against me. My sister’s ring is over 3 carats and she’s never had a problem getting a job either.
Post # 16
@Caddyshack: In our area, we have an influx of lawyers. There are some making less than 30K a year. She says the new grads are very unreliable and think they’re worth more often, and come late to work, expect days off with no notice, call in sick, etc. They’re basically extremely unreliable. I think the maternity thing is a non-issue mostly because people get preggo regardlss of marital status nowadays!! LOL! So I don’t think it gives much of an insight on whether or not that candidate will be on maternity leave soon ;).
@MsGinkgo: Yes, smoking and having children are another two things employers are not allowed to ask in interviews!
@jessicadarling: Not even 3ct diamonds though. There’s a huge influx of people wearing larger moissies and other sim e-rings. Colored stones, anyone? Sapphires have been super popular after Kate Middleton. Yes, there are preconcieved notions that one might be wealthy and not need a job, thus not be reliable.. but there’s also the factor of “OOH SHINEY BLINGY!” when your eyes catch a glimmer and then derails your attention for a few seconds, or worse, fills your mind with thoughts of, “Is that real?” “Is that an engagement ring?” “Even SHE’S engaged.. Damnit, David, when are you going to propose?!” (I laughed too hard at that last one). I don’t think a male interviewer would even notice unless he’s in the researching and purchasing stage of his life for buying an e-ring… but we all know most women’s eyes are drawn to sparkly!!!