Post # 1
We are invited to a family member’s milestone b-day celebration. He lives 6-8 hours away (depending on who’s doing the driving). In order to save on gas, DH suggested we ride along with his parents. This is one idea that I’m so strongly against, to the point where I’m almost not willing to make the trip. But I love the relatives too much to miss it.
I get car sick easily, and cannot bear the thought of being crammed into the back seat for 8 hours. It WILL take that long to get there, b/c they are very strict about driving the speed limit. Not condoning speeding, it’s just frustrating that’s all. They also make frequent stops, tend to bicker alot like every family does (which DH sometimes starts) etc etc. I’ve made this trip before, so I already know what it’s like.
It’s much more pleasant to just make the drive ourselves, relax, listen to our music, have husband and wife alone time, stretch out, do our thing, ya know? Plus we just got a new gas sipping car, so the amount of money saved by carpooling just doesn’t seem worth the discomfort and hassle. DH is tall, so of course he’ll be in the front, so he doesn’t get what it’s like to be folded up like a lawn chair for that long…
So, I guess what I’m asking is that if we DID have to carpool, how can I make it more comfortable and bearable…and how can I bring it up gently to DH that I don’t want to ride with his folks for that long of a trip? If it was a shorter drive I’d do it!
I should add that I LOVE his parents, I just don’t love sharing cramped quarters with them for that long of a jouney. I would feel the same about about that long of a trip with my own parents.
Post # 3
@Eight6Eleven: Could you compromise with him that you get the front passenger seat since you get carsick?
Then he may rethink the whole thing and decide that you two should drive on your own.
Post # 4
@Eight6Eleven: Save yourselves the trouble and long drive and drive yourselves.
Post # 5
Ugh, no thank you!
I love long drives with my FI. Ask if you two can drive on your own, since you are afraid you’ll get car sick.
Post # 6
@Eight6Eleven: I get carsick too so I understand where you are coming from 110%. To be honest, knowing that you feel awful and cramped and nauseous during such road trips, why would your DH force the issue? If you express your concern it only makes sense that he would want you to be as comfortable as possible…especially when you have a car that better conserves gas and would be saving you money anyways.
I think the way that you worded it above was perfectly thoughtful and delicate yet still gets the point across. 🙂 At the end of the day, I wouldn’t back down if you are met with resistance. Your sanity and comfort–and being free from nausea!–is the important thing.
Good luck!!! 🙂
Post # 7
Is it possible to explain the car-sickness to his parents, and as a compromise offer to drive your fuel efficient vehicle- this way you’re sitting up front with DH, and they can sit in the back?
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for your responses so far! I tried to be delicate and tactful b/c I don’t want to risk any hurt feelings. You guys have some great suggestions. Unfortunately I don’t think his dad would sit in the back, and DH wouldn’t want to drive our car with his parents, b/c the whole point was to save money on gas by taking their car (they refuse gas money). What a situation to be in. *Throws hands in the air*
Post # 9
Oh geez. I’d probably just suck it up and go with them, but if you’re going to be throwing up, maybe you two should drive yourselves. What does your FI think?
Post # 10
I drove from CT to FL with my FILs that was fun! Lol so I know how yoU feel! It was the first time being alone with them for so long, this was a few years ago, Didn’t help that we made a pit stop at a gas station in the middle of the night I tripped and fell on my face broke my nose and some of my teeth! Nice first way to get in with the family! Lol
Is it possible to bring an iPod along or iPad and watch a movie in the backseat and just ignore whatever happens up front?
Post # 11
@Eight6Eleven: As you all start loading in the car you should loudly ask your DH if he brought enough plastic garbage bags for you to have in the back for when you get sick. I’d be that front seat gets offered to you pretty darn quick!
Post # 12
I would put your foot down. Either take your own vehicle or don’t go. Point blank period.
Post # 13
I know what you mean. Things are just more comfortable in your own car, especially if you get car sick. You can go at your own pace, make stops where you want, listen to the radio stations you want, talk about whatever you want… try to explain this to your SO and be firm!
Post # 14
Thanks again everyone! Looks like we’ll be driving ourselves now 🙂 A miserable car sick wife is not worth saving some bucks and not having to drive. Whew!