Robbery strikes again! Help :(

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
3586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You need to report his threats of suicide and the thefts to the police.

Post # 3
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Djacks88:  I suggest your FI attend a Nar-Anon support group for friends and family or at least get some of their literature. You simply cannot leave money or access to money available to a drug user.

Your FI will have to find other ways to make cash available to the business when he is out of town if he is going to keep this man in his employ.

Post # 4
2072 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

strawbabies:  +1 

Djacks88:  This man is an addict. Addicts can be very manipulative when they are using. He know that you are religious people and he used that to his advantage saying he had been “saved” He needs help, but unfortunately neither you, nor your fiance or anybody else can force him to get help if he isn’t ready to do so. The best thing you can do is stop enabling him. Report the theft and the suicide threats to the police. It may be a wake up call that helps him make the decision to get treatment, or at the very least if his suicide threats are credible (and not just another form of manipulation) he can be evaluated and held until he is no longer a threat to himself.

Post # 5
1634 posts
Bumble bee


Djacks88:  Yikes! I’m so sorry! I think you can handle this one of two ways. You can turn him in, or you can believe him again and I completely see the merit of both choices. If you turn him in, thats that. He made his bed and he has to lie in it. If you choose to believe that he’s sorry you can keep the agreement you had before, but you’d need to add a couple things. He is not to be left alone EVER. No access to cash, or accounts, and maybe submit to drug testing? I understand being saved, and that it’s a real thing and people turn their lives around. But I also know people who had been saved, but still needed legal intervention before they could live life differently.

Post # 6
1372 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Djacks88:  times like these are frustrating.

You tried to do the right thing and give him a chance. He did not live up to it. You an your husband have been nothing but understanding. 

As far as his apologies go: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Time to report it and leave it in the laws hands. You already tried to avoid that to no avail. This grown man is not your responsibility.

Post # 7
604 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know much about mechanics, but how is it that this man can access the cash box? Can’t you have it so that he can’t? 

Post # 8
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Djacks88:  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!  Time to cut ties with this guy!  I’m glad you at least got most of the original $1,000 back.

Post # 9
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Report him to the police and cut him loose. Addicts are extremely good at manipulating people, they need to be. He’s played you once already, time for him to face the consequences. As far as the child issue, do you really think that a crack addict is going to be a good father? Really? You tried to help him, he made his choices. If he was that concerned for his family, he’d have looked for help long before this. You cannot force an addict into getting help. They have to get there on their own.

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