Rogue Fiance- a plus one issue

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your FI already told them it was okay. It would not be right of you to undermine his aiuthority and call them. If anything, he would need to call them to take back his offer, but I still think that would be rude.

Post # 5
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Make your FI call them back and tell them that you’re overcapacity and unfortunately cannot extend plus ones after all. He was the one who told them without running it past you, so he’s the one who can tell them now.

Post # 6
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with @somerrae: . It’s too late now; the cat’s out of the bag. It would be rude and would only start a fight with your FI.

Post # 7
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I disagree with letting this slide! Tell him to call all his “boys” and let them know you are way over guest budget. His boys are there to support him and the marriage, not for you to pay for thier dates!  It’s not too late, let them know that it was a mistake.

Post # 8
Member
1520 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

HE needs to call HIS boys and explaine

13 extra people = a lot more money…. infact you really have 40 extra guests (since you didnt think all would come) then an extra 13 so 53 people you were not accounting for adds up to A LOT!!!!   

Post # 9
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Does FI realize the TRUE cost per person here?  13 extra people is two extra tables, two extra sets of linens, 13 extra favors, 2 extra centerpieces, 13 extra meals and drinks for 13 extra people, plus appetizers too.  Price it out, add on the sales tax and gratuities and show him the TRUE per person price and ask him where the extra money is coming from now that all those extra people his parents wanted to invite are indeed coming to your wedding!

An observation I want to share:  you rolled over on inviting “all those people” who you were promised weren’t going to attend.  Now you are being expected to roll over on 13 more.  Where is FI supporting YOU in all of this?

It doesn’t seem like you guys are on the same page.  Not only do you have close to 40 extra people you must now host (the ones who wouldn’t come), now you have 13 more.

I really encourage you to sit down with him, go over the true cost per person, ask him where all this money is coming from, and most importantly – why isn’t he backing you at all on this stuff?

 

Post # 11
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

@bone1080:  Awesome!!  So glad it was helpful.  I think guys truly have no idea what the price tag is on each person for a wedding.  They think the meal is 30.00 (Hey, we live in midwest  US, we don’t have to pay crazy catering costs if we don’t want to!!) and think that is it!  Well, where I live, 30.00 is really 38.16 with tax and gratuity and doesn’t drinks, favors, invitations, postage, centerpieces, linens, etc.

Once you can show the bottom line to guys, they usually have that come to Jesus moment and totally rethink inviting everyone they have ever known!

Good luck to you!  Sounds like you ARE on the same page now!

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