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I think the staff at the facility should have asked them to leave, since it was in your contract. Had it not been in your contract, you would have to be content working around each other. But since it was in the contract, it was the facility/planner's job to get rid of the other party... not something for the bride and groom to stress over.
Edited to include: it was very kind of you to consider the other couple's feelings/not want to ruin their wedding. I may not have been so kind!!
I would have sent someone (my mom or dad) to find facility staff to ask them to leave. It's the staff's responsibility since you paid for the location, and you shouldn't be put in that awkward situation.
I don't think it would have been to at least ask them to wait. Maybe not leave entirely, but since you had the foresight to take care of that sort of issue, you should have the benefits as well.
They didn't so they really should have had to suffer the consequences... which means running late for whatever THEY planned because they didn't do the footwork and phone work in the beginning.
It is absolutely the job of the facility's staff to keep other wedding parties out when you have a contract! You played by the rules, and they should have stepped up to make sure this other couple didn't interfere with your rights. I definitely would not have been as nice as you were to this couple!
I agree that the facility should have taken care of the issue -- as per your contract!!
Agreed - the facility should absolutely have asked them to leave. If someone explained to me as a bride that another weding party had paid for exclusive use of the grounds, would have left immediately and apologized on the spot.
Wow, that's so annoying! I think since you paid for exclusive use of the site and it was in your contract, you could have asked them (or had someone else ask them) to leave. It was very nice of you not to, but I don't think you're required to be nice. In this situation, nice enough would have been to ask them to come back later, when you were done with the space.
I would have sent someone to go find a staff person to kick them out.
this was a situation for the venue staff to step in and say something. they failed to meet a requirement in their contract and left you guys in the unenviable position of playing the baddie. i have no problems in having other people do my dirty work [hehe] but i would have mentioned this to the venue coordinator and let them handle that.
Maybe the people at the facility at that time didn't realize you had a clause in your contract. Is that clause standard?
I likely would have sent someone over to talk to facilities and let them handle it. Although, it sounds like you handled the situation very graciously and kindly and I doubt the other wedding party knew they weren't allowed at the venue that day.
I would call the facility and complain though
I mean the "rogue party" (lol on that btw) probably had no idea they couldn't take pics there so I don't really blame them as much as the facility for not taking care of the situation. They were pretty much contractually obligated to do so. I agree you guys were incredibly nice and understanding. While I would have tried to keep my cool myself, I'd definitely be sending someone to fetch one of the staff persons at the facility to at the very least tell them they need to wait until all my shots were done.
At first I was thinking that I would have gone off on the couple but when I read through the questions on the poll I realized I would have gone off on the staff. They are the ones who should have been there to tell this other couple that they needed to allow you to have your shots first and they should have been the ones to deal with it.
I do think you are totally sweet for thinking about her, because I probably would have had a fit and been featured on Bridzillas.
I also would have demanded to have some sort of money given back if the staff refused to speak to the couple. But that is just me and I fear I may be going to the dark side.
This should have been handled by the venue and the venue's coordinator. I am sorry that happened to you. They should have been more professional than that.
I agree with what the others have said, I would have had someone find a person that works at the facility and had that person tell the "rogue party" about your situation. They definitely should not have been there if you had the place reserved and I don't think I would have been as nice as you were about the whole situation. I must say, you handled it very kindly. I definitely would call the facility to complain.
Seeing these responses, I can see I should have listened to my husband and said something to the facility staff to have them removed. Knowing me, though, I would have felt bad about it and worried about that poor other bride!
The only reason I'm thinking about this issue again at all is because we got our album from the photographer, and in a lot of the shots I think I look stressed - you know, the whole "I'm smiling because there's a camera on me" type thing. My husband doesn't see that and everyone who has seen the pictures comments on how happy we look - and we were definitely happy, it's just...bah well, it's over and I need to let it go.
As for the facility staff, my husband brought it up with them when he settled the remainder of the bill. Their response was that they had noticed the other couple, but because we didn't say anything to a staff member they assumed we were okay with it. They also said the language in the contract doesn't say that they would automatically remove other couples, just that we had the right to have the grounds to ourselves. Essentially, it's our own fault.
@ejs4y8 - I think this is a standard thing they do - they offered it to us without us asking when we were first looking at the venue.
Ooo that makes a lot of sense. Lesson learned I guess? No harm no foul?
Take solace in the fact that you are a very nice person and didn't go tramp on someone else's day =]
i would definately have asked staff to have them leave if after your husband talking to them didnt work. it wasnt their place to be at, you had paid money to use the site, but also the contract you made was broken with the staff not making sure no one was there.
I would have been quite annoyed with the other wedding party and I would have had the facility deal with them. Privacy (one wedding only policy and exclusive rights to use the grouns for the day) was one of my FI's and my main criteria when we were shopping for a venue so we'd definitely have been irked if I saw other people on the ground. I don't think it's a bridezilla trait to ask for that, as it's a preference and we PAID for it. (Maybe you should have asked/charged for the other wedding party to pay for th use lol) You were very kind to be considerate of the other wedding party, though they weren't very considerate of you. Also, I do feel that the facility should have stepped up and informed the other party that they have paying clients on the ground and it's not open to the public at the moment. Most every venue knows that couples prefer to not have to share space, if possible (it's one of the selling points for venues!) and they should have tried to keep the couples happy if they have good customer service. To say that it was your fault for not mentioning it is weak, imo.
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So, this happened to us at our wedding, and I'd be interested to know how other bees would have handled it...
Our reception venue is at a very scenic location, so we decided to use the grounds for our photos. The event coordinator at the venue put in our contract that we would be the only wedding party allowed to use the grounds for photos that day. This was great as we did not have a huge amount of time for picture taking between the ceremony and reception, and we also made a detailed shot list to save time.
You can see where this is going...when we arrived, we saw another wedding party having photos done. My stomach sank because I didn't want to rain on someone else's wedding and give them the boot (I know there aren't many nice places to take pictures in the small town we got married in), but I also didn't feel like we should have to share the site, given that we had paid for the location and they hadn't. I felt bad because figured they didn't know that they weren't supposed to have access to the site, but what if they didn't have a back-up location?
We took the pictures that we wanted, but there was an ongoing feeling of having to "work around" the other couple which resulted in stress (them waiting for a spot we were using, us waiting for them to finish with a spot, etc.). Finally, we were running out of time and they were at the final post where we wanted to get some photos. Our photographer told us if we didn't get the other couple out of the way we wouldn't have time to get these last shots in without being late for the reception.
So my husband went over, told them the situation, and asked them to leave, at least for a bit. They told him they only had a few more shots to take and would be gone after that. We ended up rushing to get to the reception on time. At the end of the day, we had the shots we wanted, and they had theirs, but needless to say it wasn't an enjoyable experience.
It was an awkward situation, and looking back maybe we should have just politely asked them to leave at the beginning (what my husband had wanted to do). I just didn't want drama on our wedding, and didn't want to cause drama for them. If I'm being honest, I kept expecting that the facility staff would arrive and ask the rogue party to leave, so that we wouldn't have to deal with the situation ourselves.
Would it have been a bridezilla move to ask them to leave, or did we do the right thing?