Role of fiance's biological mom?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would suggest talking to her and telling her you dont want to offend the mother that adopted him so you are inviting her as a guest and ask her if she understands this

she should since she did give up her 3 kids to be raised by strangers

Post # 4
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is such a hard subject. My situation is almost exactly identical– FI adopted as a toddler, he met his birth mom at age 21 and they speak occcasionally, but they’re not especially close. The mom who raised my FI is his real mom in our eyes, but we’re hoping things aren’t awkward at the wedding, because his bio mom is often saying things like “my son”, “our new family”, etc.


I’m just hoping that it will be fine without us doing much of anything. Everyone important to us knows that my FI’s bio mom isn’t who he truly considers to be his mom, and nothing she says at the wedding will change their minds. We’re also having her simply invited as a guest.


I hope everything works out for you! 🙂

Post # 5
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@flutterby0i0:  Are you getting the MOB/MOG corsages? And is she going to walk your FH down the aisle? Things like that might solidify your MIL’s place and reassure her of how valued she is to you.

Post # 6
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@flutterby0i0:  I am in a similar situation in that I adopted my niece and nephew. One day their mother might return too.

Even though you don’t feel it, DNA wise she technically “IS” your mother-in-law. That being said though, she does not deserve the honor of “mother of the groom”

You and your FI might have to sit down with her and tell her that the honor of MOG will go to his adopted mother. She is the one who will be wearing the corsage and be escorted in. Hopefully she will understand, but be prepared for her to get upset.

Also, find a way to make sure this does not cause drama with the other siblings.

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