Post # 1
I’m in serious need of some ideas right now. I come from a big family, and am very close with all of my cousins (there are 12 of us total, on dad’s side. Besides my genuinely wanting them involved, my aunts are also the type that will make a fuss if their kids aren’t included in some way. So all-around, it makes the most sense to find duties for everybody.
I have been able to figure out duties for all but 3 girls aged 11, 9 and 7. I am using my nieces (there are 2) as flower girls, and think that 5 flower girls is too much.
There are already people walking my grandmothers to their seats and greeting and escorting guests.
I was thinking to have my male cousins who are greeting and escorting giving out the programs, but I am thinking that maybe I should have the little girls give out programs. The issue is that I’m not sure how that would work because the oldest girl (who will be 11), has down syndrome and may not grasp the concept. Really my only concern is that she will give programs to the same people if one of the other girls gets to them first, and I wouldn’t want to run out, or for there to be an issue with one girl getting to everybody first, essentially “hogging” the job.
Does anybody have any ideas for other duties my lovely little ladies can do? Thanks!
Post # 3
@SarahTee: I wish I could be more help, but I’m having issues with what can my 2 soon to be step sons do!
I was going to say have them do a reading or something together, but not sure if the 11 year old would be up to that?
It’s kind of hard to do without knowing what kind of ceremony you will be having I guess.
Post # 4
My FI has two cousins, one in middle school and one in elementary that are kinda shy and I didn’t quite know what to do with them. We’re going to have them as guest book attendants. They are still involved by helping to wrangle in the guests to make sure they all sign the guest book and select a program (at the same spot) before the ceremony. I’m also going to have them passing out the bubbles after the ceremony is finished. They feel included and are given a task that they can easily do, but isn’t crucial to the ceremony. Hope that helps!
Post # 5
@waitingalongtime: Unfortunately the 11 year old wouldn’t be able to do the reading because of Downs. I also want to try to keep them with the same dutie because they are very close and the younger two help the older to stay on track.
Also, I guess I should have mentioned we are having a Catholic ceremony. Whoops!
Could your step-sons-to-be walk another honor attendant to their seats? They could escort their grandmother or grandfather (assuming they are still with you), or even another special person (like a mentor or parent-like person), that you’d like to have walked down. I am having my older male cousins escort my grandmothers down, and my FI is having his cousins walk his grandparents down. Fortunately for him he has less cousins and more grandparents than I do, so he gets it easy. 😉
@PrettyinPink45: Ooo guest book attendants! I forgot about that! See, this is why I love you bees
Post # 6
@SarahTee: I’m thinking of having one of the boys walk my mother down, and one walk FI mom and dad down. Neither I or FI have grandparents left.
I am seriously thinking of having them walk my dog down who will be the ring bearer, but my dog isn’t so good on a lease. Something we have to work out in the 2 years.
The guest book attendent is a great idea!
Post # 7
@SarahTee: Who is bringing up the gifts in the offertory procession? That’s a good way to include people in the wedding, if you are having a mass. If you are having just a liturgy of the word, I’m not sure how to involve quite that many in the ceremony.
Can your older cousin with downs officially greet people as they enter, and say welcome, you can get your programme from these girls here and point. Perhaps making sure to say in your instructions “it’s ok if you miss some people, because you are all a team.” and also make sure an adult is there to help her in case she becomes frustrated that things aren’t going how she envisioned. Sorry if I’m not accurate about my perception of issues with downs; I only know a little about it. they’d do know they tend to be very warm, and compassionate people, so I am sure she would make people feel warm and welcome at the Church steps.
Is anyone ringing the bell when you leave the church? Could she do that? What about helping to decorate the church?
Post # 8
@Duncan: Theses are all great ideas! Thanks! And you’re absolutely right about my cousin, she is an absolute doll, and I’m sure if I tell her what you suggested, she’d understand and it would make her feel better about sharing the task. Honestly, when all is said and done, I don’t care about people getting multiple programs (as long as they aren’t made of gold and cost 50 bucks a pop! ), I just don’t want her to be upset on a day I hope is wonderful and special for the whole family.
OOOO and also, is the bell ringing a typical part of every wedding service in a church? My FI and I are actually not religious (baptized, but not practicing), but both of our families are, and we are getting married in the church to please them (and avoid the inevitable backlash if we do anything besides that).
Post # 9
@SarahTee: The bell ringing is an old tradition that isn’t done much after all, but I love it. Plus, not every church has a steeple with a bell(s) anymore.
Yeah, from my limited knowledge (I’m more familiar with ASD, but know a little about down’s from reading and CBC radio) I’m thinking if you give her a basic script so she knows exactly what to do and say, she’ll just put on the world’s brightest smile and beam at everyone.
Post # 10
@SarahTee: I haven’t seen them in a while, but when I was little, we had rice girls. Generally, they were that 8-13 age range where you aren’t old enough to be a bridesmaid but too old to be a flower girl. They held the basket of rice bags to be tossed at the end of the wedding. They would pass out the bags before and after the ceremony to be tossed and processed with the wedding party and sat with the flower girls. My older sister was always the rice girl and I remember really wanting to be one, but by the time I was old enough, no one was getting married.
Post # 11
We aren’t having kids at our wedding, so no flower girls, but there are some teenage cousins who are invited. They already expressed wanting to be in the wedding, but I already chose my bridal party. The girls will help out with programs, bubbles, etc, and the boys will be ushers for guests.