Help me describe to my fiance (who has only attended traditional church weddings with receptions at banquet halls) the difference in how the wedding style of romantic Grace Kelly wedding style versus a modern wedding. I tried showing him styles of wedding dresses (this is where my dilemna is without showing him my actual dress- I am torn between a Alfred Angelo dress with a dramatic splash of color versus a more softly draping Jasmine or Maggie Sottero dress). He summed it up with "... one has color?" and was more worried about my train dragging on the floor and getting dirty!
I tried using the example of a garden wedding versus one at the Renaissance hotel. His only comment was that though he preferred the garden, it came with risks of weather, bees/bugs, etc. so wasn't sure he would prefer it over a hotel wedding. That... didn't help.
The real problem is that I am really torn between two types dresses. Anyone who knows me realizes I dress mostly in blues and am really drawn to blue- I've always wanted a blue wedding. So the thought of having a dress that has a splash of blue highlighting it that makes me look different then a traditinal white really appeals to me- whenever I flip through the bridal magazine I always stop to look at those. My sisters call it my "actual personality". My sisters call my desire for the other dress my general desire to present myself as sweet and softer, and that it is also unusual with the amount of lace it uses since most weddings that we happen to have attended tend toward the white satin. Most of the dresses I pick out from online pictures are this type, and I've liked those specific designers since I first started paying attention to weddings and thinking what I would like.
My fiance lives across the city in Portland OR while I live in Chicago, so flipping through a bridal magazine with pics isn't an option. What else could I use to describe and help him understand how the difference in my dress choice could influence our wedding style?
the second dress is much more sophisticated and whimsical. Personally I like it much more, but that's just me.
There are so many ways to add color. You could work with a dressmaker to insert a panel of color, or be daring and on that second dress, have it professionally dyed in a pale blue wash on the train to just give it a hint of color at the ends. Or wear gorgeous saphire jewelry with your gown. Seriously, there are so many options that you have.
As far as the train getting dirty ---- it's just how it goes. Your dress is going to get dirty on your wedding day. the great thing is that only YOU will notice this. It happens to everyone that has an outdoor wedding.
ive seen the first dress in many magz and never cared much for it as it reminded me of a prom dress and seems "stiff"
i love the second one and i thing it would be great with color too. a blue ribbon swapped for the white one and blue dramatic modern jewelry and maybe even blue shoes!
anyway go for your gut instinct. he'll love you in whatever you choose. youll fit his image of a "bride" as soon as he sees you. it's not like he'll be confused. :)
I agree with the previous postings...I've never cared for that first dress, although I've seen many brides in it. It reminds me of the 80s for some reason and I think it has the potential to look very dated in photos.
I think the second one is classic and very elegant. And I agree there are great ways to add a splash of blue to that dress. Even making the ribbon around the waist blue, or having a blue flower pin added somewhere on the front...wearing a blue ribbon wrapped through your hair, blue jewelry...of course blue shoes would be a must. The touches of blue would have such a nice impact.
Here is what I'm doing -- maybe it will give you some ideas! I am wearing a soft Maggie Sottero dress in Diamond White, but I am wearing blue shoes and blue jewelry. The blue I am using is called "pool"; it is a turquoise color. My bridesmaids will be wearing the same color of blue.
I personally prefer the second dress...the first one has had lot of trouble in terms of bustling - scroll down this page, and see the examples - you'll see what I mean - that triangle of colour turns into an awkward looking rectangle!
Talking to the groom about things like the style of the wedding can be frustrating sometimes! I don't think alot of guys picture things quite the way we do even if its their own wedding.
What really helped us was to make a list of the top 4-5 things that were important to us to have at the wedding in order of priority. Eg. 1.Personalized ceremony, 2.Location (outdoors or formal), 2.Food, 3.Music
I also agree with everyone on the second dress, its gorgeous and there are other ways to inject color. The stiff satin doesn't appeal to me but have you tried it on? That said, I think this was Mrs Corn's dress and she looked lovely in it.
It must be hard for you planning a wedding with your fiance being away. Once you decide on your venue though things will most certainly fall into place. Good luck!
Talking to the groom about things like the style of the wedding can be frustrating sometimes! I don't think alot of guys picture things quite the way we do even if its their own wedding.
What really helped us was to make a list of the top 4-5 things that were important to us to have at the wedding in order of priority. Eg. 1.Personalized ceremony, 2.Location (outdoors or formal), 2.Food, 3.Music
I also agree with everyone on the second dress, its gorgeous and there are other ways to inject color. The stiff satin doesn't appeal to me but have you tried it on? That said, I think this was Mrs Corn's dress and she looked lovely in it.
It must be hard for you planning a wedding with your fiance being away. Once you decide on your venue though things will most certainly fall into place. Good luck!
The first gown always looks a little renaissance fair-ish to me. The second is gorgeous, in a sort of turn-of-the-century way. The problem with guys is that they don't think about Grace Kelly the way we do - they mostly don't understand the difference between romantic and modern styles. You will probably have to put together a sort of collage of pictures for your FI to look at in order to show what you mean. Its not actually bad to have someone looking out for the practical aspects of things though. I love the look of outdoor weddings, but given sun, wind, and the whole mosquito West-Nile thing if you have your guests out into the evening... we are going with a lovely indoor venue with balconies for those guests who want some air. It probably feels like your FI is being a bit of a wet blanket, but he's just thinking like a guy.
And you know, my FI could care less about a lot of the details. My sister advised me in every case to narrow it down to three of my top choices and then ask him, and that has been really great advice. In a couple of cases he hated all three, and I had to backtrack a little, but in most cases he really has no opinion. The tough part is figuring out what exactly they are going to care about!!!
I tried on a dress with similar fullness to your #1 pic at Alfred Angelo (except it was all white) and I thought that it was really heavy. I don't think I can last the whole night in it.
I would show him a few inspiration boards (like the ones on www.stylemepretty.com) to explain the differences in style. I don't think most guys would understand the romantic/modern difference just by looking at dresses ;)
This might be an obvious question, but have you tried both of the dresses on? Most brides I know fell in love with something in a picture, but when they tried it on they ended up not liking it so much and going with a dress they never would have picked out in a mag. Just a thought!
As for helping your finance understand/feel the differences in wedding styles - I'd stop talking about the dress and start talking other details. Pick out some style boards from Style Me Pretty and just ask him to tell you what he sees, what he likes, what he doesn't like. You'll be able to translate what he says into a wedding vision much easier then trying to get him to say the right words - if that makes sense.
The more you two talk about your desires for a wedding - the style will create itself. Then find a dress that works with that style. You'll be able to work most dresses into the style of your wedding that you two envision.
I'll agree - I do love that second dress :)
Also - things like the venue might dictate a 'style' for the wedding. Or at least narrow things down. So may you want to work on those details before you acutally order your dress.
I agree with the majority — #2 is lovely, classic, and timeless without being stale. I never like the "stiff" look of some satin dresses, and I think #2 would be more universally flattering.
well, i will be the tired echo that says "Dress 2".....lol!
its really gorgeous! and you could incorporate color in sooo many ways. (i echo again)
i can relate. my FI is nearly 900 miles away. and i have found that its simpler to give him a couple of options and ask him which he would prefer. IF he has a preference i go with it, if not i happily make my own choice.
i think the 2nd dress could easily go modern in a vintagey sort of way....since so many vintage elements are now being considered modern, yanno?
<p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">Thanks so much for everyone's comments! My wedding date is not until summer 2009 (I have only been engaged for 2 months), so I have a lot of time: mostly I am trying to understand what kind of style would please both him and me and then research options.</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">I had never thought of infusing color in the dress itself by changing the ribbon- I guess I thought it just came as is! Thanks for the thought and I might investigate into that to see if anything can be done with the bow.</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">I did try on both dresses, which my sisters assured me I looked great in, but I think they were also sort of astounded to see me wearing a strapless dress. I don't usually because I don't have the chest for it and didn't want to wear something that I would be constantly worrying would be slipping down. But they said they loved my bare shoulders and collarbone, which I never thought anything of. I couldn't really ascertain the comfort level of either dress because the sample sizes were so large that even with those clips I was holding it up a bit and just trying to make sure it didn't gap enough to show my underwear!</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">Again, thanks for everyone's advice! I had never heard of creative or inspiration boards before so I learned something! It's nice to know that bridal magazines and The Knot (and of course this website) are not the only places to look for ideas. My next step is to put together an online collage of both styles to share with him rather then trying to explain the difference in wedding styles to him since it seems that would be the most effective way... though it isn't as time efficient for me, ha. I also think the idea of a ranked list of his priorities of what he cares about the wedding is a great idea- I had just assumed he would want to weigh in on everything as my equal partner. </font><p dir="ltr"><font size="1">BTW, the second dress is Maggie Sottero - Jessica</font>
If you've only been engaged for two months, and you have over a year until your wedding, I would highly recommend waiting a little while to decide on a dress. Of course, keep your eye on the ones you love and make sure they won't be discontinued anytime soon! But your taste can change so much once you really define a lot of things about your wedding, and you might regret getting your gown TOO early. At least for me, I wanted some time to create an overall vision before buying the dress. I will have been engaged for 19 months by the time we get married, and I ordered my dress about 11 months out, which gave me a good 8 months to really narrow things down while still not feeling rushed to make a decision.
Good luck!!! And have fun with it! Wear what makes you feel comfortable — your fiance will love how you look no matter what you're wearing.
Help me describe to my fiance (who has only attended traditional church weddings with receptions at banquet halls) the difference in how the wedding style of romantic Grace Kelly wedding style versus a modern wedding. I tried showing him styles of wedding dresses (this is where my dilemna is without showing him my actual dress- I am torn between a Alfred Angelo dress with a dramatic splash of color versus a more softly draping Jasmine or Maggie Sottero dress). He summed it up with "... one has color?" and was more worried about my train dragging on the floor and getting dirty!
I tried using the example of a garden wedding versus one at the Renaissance hotel. His only comment was that though he preferred the garden, it came with risks of weather, bees/bugs, etc. so wasn't sure he would prefer it over a hotel wedding. That... didn't help.
The real problem is that I am really torn between two types dresses. Anyone who knows me realizes I dress mostly in blues and am really drawn to blue- I've always wanted a blue wedding. So the thought of having a dress that has a splash of blue highlighting it that makes me look different then a traditinal white really appeals to me- whenever I flip through the bridal magazine I always stop to look at those. My sisters call it my "actual personality". My sisters call my desire for the other dress my general desire to present myself as sweet and softer, and that it is also unusual with the amount of lace it uses since most weddings that we happen to have attended tend toward the white satin. Most of the dresses I pick out from online pictures are this type, and I've liked those specific designers since I first started paying attention to weddings and thinking what I would like.
My fiance lives across the city in Portland OR while I live in Chicago, so flipping through a bridal magazine with pics isn't an option. What else could I use to describe and help him understand how the difference in my dress choice could influence our wedding style?
posted by pechnmew 3 posts 8 months agothe second dress is much more sophisticated and whimsical. Personally I like it much more, but that's just me.
There are so many ways to add color. You could work with a dressmaker to insert a panel of color, or be daring and on that second dress, have it professionally dyed in a pale blue wash on the train to just give it a hint of color at the ends. Or wear gorgeous saphire jewelry with your gown. Seriously, there are so many options that you have.
As far as the train getting dirty ---- it's just how it goes. Your dress is going to get dirty on your wedding day. the great thing is that only YOU will notice this. It happens to everyone that has an outdoor wedding.
I think inspiration boards are a great way to clarify your thoughts and ideas. Check out http://snippetandink.blogspot.com
She does the most beautiful and creative boards I've ever seen.
posted by glittergrl 322 posts 8 months agoive seen the first dress in many magz and never cared much for it as it reminded me of a prom dress and seems "stiff"
i love the second one and i thing it would be great with color too. a blue ribbon swapped for the white one and blue dramatic modern jewelry and maybe even blue shoes!
anyway go for your gut instinct. he'll love you in whatever you choose. youll fit his image of a "bride" as soon as he sees you. it's not like he'll be confused. :)
posted by SugaryRocks 60 posts 8 months agoI agree with the previous postings...I've never cared for that first dress, although I've seen many brides in it. It reminds me of the 80s for some reason and I think it has the potential to look very dated in photos.
I think the second one is classic and very elegant. And I agree there are great ways to add a splash of blue to that dress. Even making the ribbon around the waist blue, or having a blue flower pin added somewhere on the front...wearing a blue ribbon wrapped through your hair, blue jewelry...of course blue shoes would be a must. The touches of blue would have such a nice impact.
posted by BaghdadBride 206 posts 8 months agoHere is what I'm doing -- maybe it will give you some ideas! I am wearing a soft Maggie Sottero dress in Diamond White, but I am wearing blue shoes and blue jewelry. The blue I am using is called "pool"; it is a turquoise color. My bridesmaids will be wearing the same color of blue.
posted by caliocteach 720 posts 8 months agoI personally prefer the second dress...the first one has had lot of trouble in terms of bustling - scroll down this page, and see the examples - you'll see what I mean - that triangle of colour turns into an awkward looking rectangle!
posted by shortcake 45 posts 8 months agoi vote for #2, and i think you could wear it for either your romantic wedding or a more modern one. i think you can work it either way!! :)
posted by bride 170 posts 8 months agoTalking to the groom about things like the style of the wedding can be frustrating sometimes! I don't think alot of guys picture things quite the way we do even if its their own wedding.
What really helped us was to make a list of the top 4-5 things that were important to us to have at the wedding in order of priority. Eg. 1.Personalized ceremony, 2.Location (outdoors or formal), 2.Food, 3.Music
I also agree with everyone on the second dress, its gorgeous and there are other ways to inject color. The stiff satin doesn't appeal to me but have you tried it on? That said, I think this was Mrs Corn's dress and she looked lovely in it.
It must be hard for you planning a wedding with your fiance being away. Once you decide on your venue though things will most certainly fall into place. Good luck!
posted by pinky 50 posts 8 months agoTalking to the groom about things like the style of the wedding can be frustrating sometimes! I don't think alot of guys picture things quite the way we do even if its their own wedding.
What really helped us was to make a list of the top 4-5 things that were important to us to have at the wedding in order of priority. Eg. 1.Personalized ceremony, 2.Location (outdoors or formal), 2.Food, 3.Music
I also agree with everyone on the second dress, its gorgeous and there are other ways to inject color. The stiff satin doesn't appeal to me but have you tried it on? That said, I think this was Mrs Corn's dress and she looked lovely in it.
It must be hard for you planning a wedding with your fiance being away. Once you decide on your venue though things will most certainly fall into place. Good luck!
posted by pinky 50 posts 8 months agoI have to chime in and say I've never been a big fan of the first gown either although I think a splash of color is awesome when brides choose to incorporate it. Maggie Sottero also makes a number of gowns with blue accents such as this one: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?keywordText=blue&keywordType=any&pageSize=8&showAll=1&style=S5001
posted by daydreamer33 78 posts 8 months agoThe first gown always looks a little renaissance fair-ish to me. The second is gorgeous, in a sort of turn-of-the-century way. The problem with guys is that they don't think about Grace Kelly the way we do - they mostly don't understand the difference between romantic and modern styles. You will probably have to put together a sort of collage of pictures for your FI to look at in order to show what you mean. Its not actually bad to have someone looking out for the practical aspects of things though. I love the look of outdoor weddings, but given sun, wind, and the whole mosquito West-Nile thing if you have your guests out into the evening... we are going with a lovely indoor venue with balconies for those guests who want some air. It probably feels like your FI is being a bit of a wet blanket, but he's just thinking like a guy.
And you know, my FI could care less about a lot of the details. My sister advised me in every case to narrow it down to three of my top choices and then ask him, and that has been really great advice. In a couple of cases he hated all three, and I had to backtrack a little, but in most cases he really has no opinion. The tough part is figuring out what exactly they are going to care about!!!
posted by suzanno 1,975 posts 8 months agoI also vote for #2. It's gorgeous.
I tried on a dress with similar fullness to your #1 pic at Alfred Angelo (except it was all white) and I thought that it was really heavy. I don't think I can last the whole night in it.
posted by indy 89 posts 8 months agoI would show him a few inspiration boards (like the ones on www.stylemepretty.com) to explain the differences in style. I don't think most guys would understand the romantic/modern difference just by looking at dresses ;)
posted by lc80 55 posts 8 months agoThis might be an obvious question, but have you tried both of the dresses on? Most brides I know fell in love with something in a picture, but when they tried it on they ended up not liking it so much and going with a dress they never would have picked out in a mag. Just a thought!
Either way, I vote for dress #2 with blue shoes!
posted by jcabc 103 posts 8 months agoAs for helping your finance understand/feel the differences in wedding styles - I'd stop talking about the dress and start talking other details. Pick out some style boards from Style Me Pretty and just ask him to tell you what he sees, what he likes, what he doesn't like. You'll be able to translate what he says into a wedding vision much easier then trying to get him to say the right words - if that makes sense.
The more you two talk about your desires for a wedding - the style will create itself. Then find a dress that works with that style. You'll be able to work most dresses into the style of your wedding that you two envision.
I'll agree - I do love that second dress :)
Also - things like the venue might dictate a 'style' for the wedding. Or at least narrow things down. So may you want to work on those details before you acutally order your dress.
posted by jilian 175 posts 8 months agoWhat's the name/style # of that second dress? I looked for it on Maggie Sottero's site and can't find it... love it.
posted by ashley3 2 posts 8 months agoI agree with the majority — #2 is lovely, classic, and timeless without being stale. I never like the "stiff" look of some satin dresses, and I think #2 would be more universally flattering.
posted by cupcake 274 posts 8 months agowell, i will be the tired echo that says "Dress 2".....lol!
its really gorgeous! and you could incorporate color in sooo many ways. (i echo again)
i can relate. my FI is nearly 900 miles away. and i have found that its simpler to give him a couple of options and ask him which he would prefer. IF he has a preference i go with it, if not i happily make my own choice.
i think the 2nd dress could easily go modern in a vintagey sort of way....since so many vintage elements are now being considered modern, yanno?
posted by GetMarried4Less 403 posts 8 months ago<p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">Thanks so much for everyone's comments! My wedding date is not until summer 2009 (I have only been engaged for 2 months), so I have a lot of time: mostly I am trying to understand what kind of style would please both him and me and then research options.</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">I had never thought of infusing color in the dress itself by changing the ribbon- I guess I thought it just came as is! Thanks for the thought and I might investigate into that to see if anything can be done with the bow.</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">I did try on both dresses, which my sisters assured me I looked great in, but I think they were also sort of astounded to see me wearing a strapless dress. I don't usually because I don't have the chest for it and didn't want to wear something that I would be constantly worrying would be slipping down. But they said they loved my bare shoulders and collarbone, which I never thought anything of. I couldn't really ascertain the comfort level of either dress because the sample sizes were so large that even with those clips I was holding it up a bit and just trying to make sure it didn't gap enough to show my underwear!</font><p dir="ltr"><font face="Verdana" size="1">Again, thanks for everyone's advice! I had never heard of creative or inspiration boards before so I learned something! It's nice to know that bridal magazines and The Knot (and of course this website) are not the only places to look for ideas. My next step is to put together an online collage of both styles to share with him rather then trying to explain the difference in wedding styles to him since it seems that would be the most effective way... though it isn't as time efficient for me, ha. I also think the idea of a ranked list of his priorities of what he cares about the wedding is a great idea- I had just assumed he would want to weigh in on everything as my equal partner. </font><p dir="ltr"><font size="1">BTW, the second dress is Maggie Sottero - Jessica </font>
posted by pechnmew 3 posts 8 months agoIf you've only been engaged for two months, and you have over a year until your wedding, I would highly recommend waiting a little while to decide on a dress. Of course, keep your eye on the ones you love and make sure they won't be discontinued anytime soon! But your taste can change so much once you really define a lot of things about your wedding, and you might regret getting your gown TOO early. At least for me, I wanted some time to create an overall vision before buying the dress. I will have been engaged for 19 months by the time we get married, and I ordered my dress about 11 months out, which gave me a good 8 months to really narrow things down while still not feeling rushed to make a decision.
Good luck!!! And have fun with it! Wear what makes you feel comfortable — your fiance will love how you look no matter what you're wearing.
posted by cupcake 274 posts 8 months ago