Roommate issues again…but this time I'm not the cause

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You haven’t been a bitch.  You’ve been direct and assertive.  That’s NOT the same.  B sounds like an awful, irresponsible roommate.  She’s damaged your property and put you in SLIGHT danger by leaving the door unlocked.  You did not need to apologize for telling her to lock the freaking door!  What an idiot (her!). 

 

Continue to be direct and say to her: If you are going to live here, you need to follow these rules.  We may not have been clear in the beginning, but we expected you would understand on your own.  1. Your boyfriend is not allowed to have a key unless he pays rent. 2. We each buy and eat our own food.  3. We may use each other’s kitchen equipment, but if it is damaged we replace it.  You need to replace the pot you ruined as well as the plastic bowl you melted.  

 

Et cetera.

Post # 4
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@peachacid +1 Yes to everything she said!

I wouldn’t stand for her giving her BF a key to your apt, unless he lives there and pays rent he should NOT have a key.

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why don’t you just have a house meeting with the 3 of you and go over what the rules are?

Post # 9
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Let A handle her own issues. It seems like you’re doing a good job handling your own. You shouldn’t have to fight her battles too. If she wants to be all passive aggressive and use notes, you should take pictures and send it to that passive aggressive notes website (I don’t even know if it’s up anymore). Best wishes til January!

Post # 10
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  You need to be direct and assertive, even if you think that means you’re being a bitch.  It doesn’t.  This girl is acting like an idiot.

Leaving the door open, by the way, is not a pet peeve.  It’s stupid.  A pet peeve is something that bothers you but is inconsequential.  

 

And you should make her replace the pot.

Post # 11
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LadyBlackheart:  yeah I recommend both you and your other roommate sit down. That way she doesn’t think it’s just one of you being a bitch.

Post # 12
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

double post

Post # 13
Member
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@LadyBlackheart:  So I remember that you’ve had a few posts about roommate issues. In one of those, you talked about your bf having a key, and initially, you didnt think anything of it. There was also the issue of your bf being at the apartment to shower when you weren’t home, and again, you didn’t initially see an issue with it. 

My point is, it sounds like this girl just isn’t used to living with roommates. Since you and A both live with B, the three of you need to sit down and really lay out the ground rules of the apartment. To be honest, I think it’s a little crazy to say that you cant use each other’s dishes. What matters is that they’re cleaned up. It sucks that your dish got burnt, but these things happen. Yes, its irritating, but is it worth blowing up over and ruining a living situation? I mean, are we talking a $400 Le Cruset pot, or a $30 Macy’s one?

You all seem hyper-emotional at this point, and a session to “clear the air” is definitely needed. It’s not your job alone to talk to B. A needs to be there as well. Sit down and say something along the lines of “hey, since we didnt really get to do this when you moved in, B, A and I had a few things we agreed on. Can we talk about them so you’re on the same page, and we’re all happy with them?”

Moving into a new place with 2 girls who already know each other is probably tough. But remember, it’s her apartment too. She has a say in the way things are done. 

Post # 14
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@peachacid:  +1

I used to have an awful roommate, similar to B, except that she’d fuck up and then leave ME passive aggressive notes and blamed me for her problems. Yeahokay. I’m not the one who ate a WHOLE FUCKING PIE that I made in one sitting and then blamed me for not eating any before you ate the whole thing (BECAUSE IT WAS STILL SETTING).

Anyway, I agree about all three of you sitting down together and speaking to her. If you don’t, it’s just going to get worse. Did you know her at all before she moved in?

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