- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Long story short, Fiance has a nephew that has lived with us on and off for teh last 5 years…he has drinking problems, hasn’t been able to hold a job, at one point even tried to hide a pregnant girlfriend living in the house from us. Although we love him, he’s a very lost person, who can’t follow rules, can’t seem to get on his feet as an adult. His parents have been univolved with his life since he was 17. But again, it’s been 5 years, and there’s been no improvment. We recently took him in for the umpteeth time, after he decided to go live with his mom out of state, in an effort to get away from the family and friends who seem to enable his lifestyle. We of course were supportive.
I should mention FI’s mom lives with us and is his biggest enabler, although she and I have been very civilized about our difference in opinion and she understands he cannot live with us and she understands why he’s been kicked out of all his other family’s homes.
Well, 3 weeks went by and he hadn’t left as of today and he’s done nothing while he’s here but sleep and eat, although I complained a little because of his slobby/messy ways, I was mostly calm and patient. But my Fiance came home very angry today, because aparently his nephew’s mother and husband were ready to change their minds about having him come live with them, because FI’s nephew had not shown up yet. It was one excuse after another why he had’t left and they had worked hard to prepare for his arrival and were beggining to feel like he wasn’t serious about it. So, Fiance and I helped smooth things over with his mom and step-dad, we helped him pack and we put him on the bus tonight.
FI”s mom came home from the bus station and I could hear her sobbing uncontrollably. Fiance went downstairs as he was leaving for work and tried tot alk to her but she was inconsolable. Fiance came upstairs and was crying himself, he said he couldn’t stand to see his mother so upset. I didn’t know what to say, or what to do. FI’s mom just went to her room. Fiance, eventually just got in his car and went to work.
So, here I am, feeling aweful..wishing there was something I cold do or say to make everyoen feel better, knowing it’s not my fault but still feeling like it is. You see, my Fiance has never had the heart to put anyone out, for any reason whatsoever, it’s only with my support that he was able to ask several other members of his family who were sucking him dry to get their own places, so that he could start building his own life.
hence the guilt on my part. =(