Post # 1
I am in the process of doing sitting charts for the reception and dont know how to handle “maybe” RSVPs. There are at least 7 people who said that they will attend if they are in the city…
Do I reserve spaces for them with everyone or have a separate table for all ‘maybes’? The restaurant is charging us per sitting, so I dont want to end up paying for empty spots.
Is there a way to handle the situation without causing a problem?
Post # 3
I would get back to them a little bit before you have to get your numbers into the caterer. Just let them know if they are attending or not because the caterer requires accurate numbers, or something like that.
Post # 4
I’d phone them TODAY and tell them you need to know by Thursday. Let them know that if you don’t receive a response, you’ll have to mark them as a “no” since you need to submit your numbers to the venue. A “maybe” is not an acceptable response to a wedding invitation (unless the person is very ill or has a legitimate reason besides “we’ll see if I’m around and feel like attending”).
Post # 5
thats nuts they cant tell you “maybe”! its yes or no. tell them you MUST give an accurate number to the caterer by such and such a date.
Post # 6
I agree with Juliepants 100%.
Post # 7
I would make your seating chart including the maybes, with very easy options to change if they become solid ‘nos’. Even people that RSVP’d no may suddenly be able to come last minute, so be prepared for those last minute changes, I would give your restaurant the final count and include the maybes, much better off being safe and having enough seats then not having enough seats of food.
Post # 8
I think a “maybe” response is a “decline in disguise” – they don’t want to come out and say “no” outright, but they are not making firm plans to attend.
For catering purposes, I would assume “no” so that you don’t end up paying for meals that won’t be eaten.
Post # 9
Just fyi, you WILL have unexpected “no shows”. So if you do what Tiffmorris suggested, you will probably end up paying for a LOT of uneaten plates.
Post # 10
Thank you everyone! That’s a lot of useful info 🙂
I still consider a maybe answer as rude. I would prefer a straight no to an uncertain maybe.
Let the count start….
Post # 11
@saida27: If your date is correct on your profile, you are still over 6 weeks from your wedding.
Invites should be going out now, not having firm answers. There is a reason why the standards are 6-8 weeks before the event send out invites, and 1-2 weeks before the event RSVP date.
Guests may legitimately NOT know at this point if they are ABLE to attend. I would give them up to the standard 1-2 weeks ahead of time to work out their scheduling issues.
Post # 12
Maybe definitely sounds like a cop-out. I’d give them the date you absolutely need to know by, and say if they don’t give you a yes or a no by then, they are going to be counted as a no.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Since your wedding is on a Friday, I assume those maybes are concerned that they’d be out of town for work? Can they ask for the day off?
I agree that 6 weeks out may be tough for some people- if it’s work related, they should know closer to the date- 2 or 3 weeks out. We had two guests who were in a similar situation, and if you’re having a weekday wedding, I feel you need to give your guests a certain amount of flexibility.
Post # 14
If we get any “maybe” responses, I’ll tell them that we will “maybe” save them a seat, and “maybe” they’ll get a meal 😛 Jk… sort of.
Post # 15
A Maybe response is rude. I’d call them and ask them to commit, or say you’re sorry they can’t come. Wishy-washy answers don’t help when you need to give solid numbers to caterers.
Post # 16
I truly believe that the courtesy and formality of an invitation is null and void when people don’t respond appropriately. It is NOT rude or inconsiderate to tell them that you need a more definite answer.
I agree with @Juliepants: give them YET another deadline and move on. They’ll decide whether or not they can make the extra effort!