Post # 1
What is the appropriate response when someone RSVP’s for themselves and their wife, but then texts 3 weeks later to say “My wife can’t make it anymore, is it okay if I bring ‘random guy’ as my date? haha” This guy knows others that will be at the wedding so it’s not like he will be by himself. We already have over 300 people on our guest list and we are hoping to have close to 240 guests. We both have large families and are already sad that we can’t invite our guests children… We also decided not to give certain guests +1’s. There are a few people that I would have loved to invite to the wedding but decided not to beacuse of our budget and reception hall guest limit. I just feel like it’s so rude to try to add random people when they weren’t specifically invited. It’s not a concert ticket, it’s a wedding invitation! What’s the best way to respond tastefully to the text without looking like a jerk? ADVICE PLEASE!
Post # 2
Doxie7: “I’m sorry that WIFE cant be there, we will miss her. Unfortunately, we will not be able to accomodate someone else.”
If he asks ‘Why?’, just say, “Because we can’t”
If he is a total ass, then you say, “Because we have had to cut some dear friends from the list. Now that WIFE cant make it, we will be able to invite them” (You know people that we know and love and not some random guy you total D!ckwad)
Post # 3
Hmm, tough. I personally would say, I’m really sorry to hear that *your wife* isn’t able to make it, we would have loved to been able to celebrate with her as well. We are finding it difficult to fit everyone in due to guest limit and We are only inviting our close friends and family so I wouldn’t feel comfortable having someone attend our wedding that we don’t really know, and also have them taking a seat which potentially could be used for a family member. (or something along those lines). Good luck!
Post # 4
KoiKove: sairsiebee: Thank you for the advice! I went ahead and sent the message today and told him that we would miss having his wife there and we hope that he understands that we are not able to have “random guy” come instead. I told him that I hope that he will still be able to make it, but if not we understand… just to let us know either way. I can tell that he read the message but I have not heard back… Thinking if I don’t hear a reply back I should just count him as a No as well now? :/ <br />ALSO– received the first RSVP back with 3 additional kids added to it (we aren’t having children at our reception) so I had to send out a nice message saying that I am sorry that there was a misunderstanding but we are unable to have your children at the wedding. –I listed a couple of reasons that we are sadly unable to include everyone’s children– We hope that you both will still be able to make it but if not we certainly undderstand, just let us know” I can see that they read the messages as well but I haven’t received a reply… I’m going to follow up with them specifically after the RSVP date passes. If I still don’t get a response from them after that I am marking them as a NO.
WHY do people think it’s okay to add on randoms to their RSVPs? I hate having to look like the bad guy when I say no.
Post # 5
This is so rude ! Why do people just add extra people on that are no invited .. I so do not get it??? and the sad thing is they make you feel awful when you have to tell them they cannot be accommodated. My friend recently got married and was called and literally abused and sworn at by the partner of her male friend (both of whom were invited) because they could not bring their children ! the funny thing is a few months later they got married and had a child free wedding ! typical. I often think that until you are planning a wedding… or just had a wedding that their is not much understanding on how difficult it is !
Post # 6
Important life lesson, it might be more uncomfortable but you should try to approach these situations with a phone call instead of an email or text. People can read an email and make all kind of assumptions about your attitude and tone that are nowhere near correct. Also, they will have to respond immidiately if you are speaking to them live. You won’t get stuck waiting around for an email back and you won’t have to guess whether or not they are coming at all.
I think it was rude for your friend to just up and invite their kids. I can kind of see where your male friend was coming from though. He had already RSVP’d for two and might have thought you already paid for their meals. I think he asking you if he could bring someone else was polite. It’s not like he just announced he was bringing someone else, he was asking if it was okay. It isn’t, and you told him so. I’d just leave it at that.