Post # 1
Dear Bees, I was just wondering how you all felt about this! I received a wedding invitation in the mail where the RSVP card was also the registry card, except that you didn’t mail the RSVP card back, you were supposed to call or email. This couple has no wedding website, and I know that if you feel you MUST include registry information in the invitation, it SHOULD go on a separate card. But this seems a little off! In addition, they are registered for two places and at a place where they have a mattress on layaway and give a number where you can call and give money! This also seems off, or am I just an oversensitive old lady? Not here to judge the couple, but not too sure about their methods.
Post # 2
I’m a youngling. And even I think that’s awful. It rubbed me the wrong way when a girl announced where she was registered over Facebook. Granted people had been asking through facebook, but I would think she’d answer them privately.
Bothers me and seems rude. I can understand asking for money towards something, but including it in the invite….just in bad taste I think.
Post # 3
Eh I think I’ve read about a lot worse than this. In some places, including registry info is acceptable. I’d probably think “Okay, that’s strange” and then go on with my day. I wouldn’t get upset about it.
Post # 4
ClassicCorvette: I think it depends if you’re in a place where providing a registry card is acceptable. If it is, then yeah sure, it’s a cost saving measure. If you’re not, tacky central.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
I think including registry information in the invitation is super tacky in general. It begs the question: did you invite me because you want me to share your day, or because you think I can buy you that awesome Vitamix food processor you’ve been coveting for a year? But it all depends on what’s appropriate for your social circle.
Post # 6
i think people are way to sensitive about this stuff. ugh so many people ask that i think its a good way to let everyone know. you still don’t have to get a gift, it’s just an extra piece of info a lot of people would like to know.
Post # 7
I know that all ettiquette rules state that no registry information should go anywhere on the invitation, or any enclosure with your invitation. It should be word of mouth only. Well… let’s be real people!
I have seen, and have had plenty of friends, put this information on their inviation. Is it tacky? *shrug* The last one I got for a good friend, she had the normal invitation wording on the front, and then what would normally be on an enclosure card on the back – including registry information. Even one of my cousins invitation had the registry info on back, along with a quote.
I plan on having it on our Website, and then telling people if asked. Our enclosure card will state that registry info (along with other stuff) is online to view.
Post # 8
Registry information belongs no where in the invitation, including any enclosure.
Post # 9
This is maybe the absolute worst ettiquette breach IMO
It can go on your website. if someone wants to find it, they will. Its really not rocket science to find someones registry if you’re looking for it and it should never be mentioned anywhere in an invite. It reads like a mandate. And you dont host people for kick backs, presents, or god forbid the pay-for-your-plate mentality. You host the reception you can afford as a way to thank the people you love for being there with you, and to celebrate.
Its just so indoctrined into me that ettiquette is an extension of politeness and general graciousness in a world of me me me memememememe. And yes ettiquette is fluid and a product of a culture, but I just cringe and picture my aunties/gma/ggma/mom/mom in law/everyone I know cringing along with me.
And, coincidentally- I think people are way more generous when you dont demand gifts of them. I certainly am.
Post # 10
weddingmaven: This is the only correct response.
Post # 11
IMO, it’s super tacky to include registry info anywhere with or on an invitation.
Post # 12
Don’t they mail the RSVP card back to you? So theyd be mailing your registry information to you too. Doesn’t make sense.
Post # 13
I don’t find it rude. Unless they mailed a gun for you to point at your own head to get them a gift… it’s a suggestion. Registries are not put in place because the couple is expecting gifts, they are put in place to make shopping easier for those who choose to get them.
Post # 14
I would think…’thanks for making my work easier shopping for your gift and I hope every night you sleep on the mattress I helped you buy..it was the best sleep you ever had’.
As for the saving paper by putting the RSVP and the registry on the same peice of paper…I would say ‘thank you once again …cause I only have 1 piece of paper to recycle instead of 2 (or more)’.
Post # 15
Soon2bBarker: I love your response about the mattress. Personally asking for something so personal (?) would make me shy, but I’m sure if the card had a “no gifts, money only please” poem on it, heads would roll. 😉