(Closed) RSVP deadline 4 months before the wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How long before the wedding date did you ask for RSVPs?
    4 weeks or less : (48 votes)
    44 %
    4-6 weeks : (38 votes)
    35 %
    6-8 weeks : (16 votes)
    15 %
    8-12 weeks : (5 votes)
    5 %
    12-16 weeks : (1 votes)
    1 %
    16 weeks + : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    9483 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Whoa.  That’s crazy.  My RSVP date is a month before my wedding since it’s a small, intimate backyard wedding with mostly family.

    Post # 4
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Seems excessive to me. I am doing a Destination Wedding in Mexico and set my RSVP’s 2 months out from wedding day. If it were local I thik 4 weeks is plenty of time.

    Post # 5
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My RSVP deadline is a little less than 3 weeks before my wedding. 4 months is crazy unless maybe its a destination wedding?

    Post # 6
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    We’re asking for them 4 weeks in advance- gives us a week to track everybody down, then confirm rentals, catering, etc. 

    I think that invite must have a B-list- wouldn’t be surprised if they sent round two out the end of May, with a July 1 deadline.

    Post # 8
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    That’s insane. 

    Post # 10
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    4 weeks for us.

    Post # 11
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    One of my BM’s is in another mutual friends wedding a month before mine (9/22 vs/ 08/11). I recieved her invite in March with an RSVP by date of today! I recieved it before I recieved the invite to another wedding I’m going to in June! I actually lost my RSVP (and luckily found it in time) But so did the Maid/Matron of Honor and she threatened to not have a chair and food for her! I’m making my RSVP by date 6 weeks before (only so I have 3 weeks to track down the MIA ones before I have to make my payments) and I think that’s borderline early…She claims her vendors are DEMANDING head counts by the end of this month. BUT i find it erally hard to believe that a vendor (ESPECIALLY a caterer) would demand that info so far ahead when it’s not like they’re buying the food NOW. I don’t know i think anything more than the 4-6 week mark is crazy… EVen for a destination wedding–sometimes people think they can’t afford it but as it gets closer thigns change and they can…

    Post # 12
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    4 months is CrazyTown, even if it was a destination wedding on a holiday weekend.  

    Post # 13
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We have to have our final numbers to the hall 21 days before the wedding, so I think I’m going to make the deadline a week before that.

    Post # 14
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m doing roughly a month before the wedding. 4 months is definitely unreasonable. They’re probably going to get more than several yesses that turn into “no”s.

    Post # 15
    11172 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    How on earth are you supposed to confirm that you can be somewhere that early? I can’t imagine the no show rate with such a long lead time to confirm. Things are bound to come up for some people.

    Our RSVP date was four weeks before the wedding.


    Post # 16
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Darling Husband and I received a wedding invite with an RSVP date SIX MONTHS ahead of the actual wedding.

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